How do I build confidence?

AloofusMaximus · 2020-12-03T18:18:09+00:00

You're young and you haven't learned to trust yourself yet.

Most people get stuck in their own heads worrying about catastrophic scenarios. You're nervous about public speaking, so is everyone else. After you give a few speeches you'll realize it's no big deal.

Also start talking to girl you think are hot. You'll realize there's nothing special about talking to attractive women.

You're going to fuck up plenty of things, that's fine we all do that. Getting yourself into, and then out of, uncomfortable situations is how you grow and learn to trust yourself.

RedEyeBlackEye1 · 2020-12-03T21:52:19+00:00

this might just change your life

Do shit, achieve shit,go through some hardship and come out better on the other side.

Also,

"Look good,feel good, do good"

That means looking good or rather presenting your product(you) in a good way will make you feel good (ie give you a form of confidence in your appearance), which will make you BEHAVE AND CARRY YOURSELF IN A CONFIDENT MANNER.

Plus,the positive reception you get from dudes(wanting to be "cool with you") and bitches being attracted to you will WOEK AS A RECURRING FEEDBACK LOOP OF POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT.

1) fix your posture,use masculine SWAGGERING body language (think Thor,idris Elba,the Rock,Cavill the Witcher,gosling, or Clooney)

2) get good hairstyle for your head/face shape(think undercut or no1 buzzcut).

3) grow short beard or 10day stubble.then groom it Religiously (that means trim,Shapeup,lineup(sideburnlines/cheeklines/neckline) ). You will look more masculine and actually look more Physically Attractive (don't believe me? Look in the damn mirror.)

EVEN IF YOU'RE ALREADY GOOD LOOKING, IT WILL ADD AT LEAST 2PTS TO YOUR SMV. PLUS, BITCHES LOVE WELL GROOMED STUBBLE AND SHORT BEARDS!!!!!!

4) eat 2-4 eggs everyday,take a multivitamin.

5) noFap and semen retention and FOR GAWD SAKES LIFT SOME WEIGHTS.

I'm practically GIVING YOU THE QUICK EXPRESS GUIDE I WISH I HAD GOTTEN WAY BACK WHEN. IF YOU THINK IM CHATTING RUBBISH...

TRY MY ADVICE. YOU GOR NOTHING TO LOOSE AND EVERYTHING TO GAIN.

"Look good,feel good,do good"

Good luck

lmann81733 · 2020-12-03T18:44:17+00:00

Don’t focus on a feeling like “confidence” because it’s not something you can directly control. Focus on actions and the feelings will follow.

The problem isn’t you have a small comfort zone, the problem is using discomfort as an excuse not to step outside it.

skyrunner22 · 2020-12-03T21:54:15+00:00

Competence. Build a foundation. Exposure to success in things you want to accomplish. Experience.

Not sure how covid has affected everything but in general you need to build competence which will make you more confident. Working out is a good start, you are already a senior but in general you would join some sport also, this will give you a built in crew with a built in goal that you all work together towards, this also helps you be more social and puts you in contact with a different group of people. Joining some type of club that you have interest in can also help.

Getting a job, also gives you a different set of experience and helps with meeting other kids from different high schools (exposure to different social groups), with the money you get, you save and try to get wheels, now with a car this is the first exposure to freedom and responsibility of self, also helps with logistics and puts you in higher heirarchy..

You can also invest in yourself because you have money to learn things and possibly learn a martial art, dance, musical instrument, etc. You would have a jump on many who arent even thinking of these things. Make sure your grades are up to allow you to have as many options that are available open to you so you can make your next move after high school.

Main thing dont isolate in your room wasting tons of hours just consuming crap for hours on end. Its ok to do things in moderation after you have worked on your goals but just make sure you have some and work towards them.

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4thAndLong · 2020-12-03T18:24:09+00:00

Keep lifting for sure. You need to keep great posture and also work on your voice. I don't care if you have to stand in front of the mirror to practice doing it. Start being the leader in your group of friends. Call the shots and make the plans. It just takes practice.

LoverRomeox · 2020-12-04T04:30:53+00:00

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem Book by Nathaniel Branden

inbredostrptw · 2020-12-04T10:56:10+00:00

Become good at a few things. I suggest social skills/learning to talk to everyone, lifting, and a skill/hobby that can be monetized

inkwind · 2020-12-04T18:24:57+00:00

Hey dude, I was a pushover once. Here's how I now think about things:

Look at something
Think of the worst case scenario
If it isn't life threatening, swallow the initial pain and do it anyways, because it feels dammn good later on

I was a social shut in but was getting by because I luckily had good friends.

Of you can learn to observe the initial pain your brain tells you about, and then do the thing anyways, in the course of some weeks everything will become easier. Soon the process becomes subconscious.

Applies to everything: social anxiety, approaching, addiction, inability to do work etc.

Just do yourself a favour and do the thing anyways. But always acknowledge the existence of pain, don't ignore it.

Soon you'll be doing tougher things. You're bad now because you haven't gotten over the initial pain.

It's a simple process.

Title	How do I build confidence?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	10
Date	December 3, 2020 6:01 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/k62f6a/how-do-i-build-confidence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-build-confidence.1596891 https://theredarchive.com/post/1596891

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this might just change your life

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