22, living with mom, quit my dental tehnician job 5 months ago cause i was miserable and the pay was garbage, went 4 months with 0 pay.

Im learning web development atm and this shit is gruesomely hard. So far all i can study is 2 hours per day without wanting to end myself.

I allso have to study c++ to get into computer science colege next month, now that shit doesnt stick AT ALL.

Troughout the Day i keep having urges to stick a knife in my throat as I cant handle the depression and uncertanty of the fluture.

Even if i study this really hard shit, Will i be able to find a good job that pays well? Who The fuck knows..

Im currently under medication for depression and anxiety and i Will probably not end my life. But i need something, some form of hope, ive studied for 5 hours today, i cant remember anything ive "learned".

My goal în life îs to become financially well enough that i dont have to work, or work as little as possible, i just have no idea how to achieve this, nothing ever seems to go my way.

Advice would be much appreciated, thank you!