How important is approaching?

Hecticchow · 2015-06-17T11:34:28+00:00

Let me ask you this:

Say you are a boxer and hoping to become a professional boxer someday. How much good will it do to stay home and watch intstructional videos all day instead of actually training at a gym. You cannot master a skill without investing your time into it.

Having a killer inner game and being amazingly fit will still get you nowhere if you don't put in the time to approach.

cmiovino · 2015-06-17T13:13:16+00:00

3 approaches is nothing. Keep doing 3 a day for 2-3 weeks and it will become very natural. Hell, even do 1 a day for 2 weeks. You'll see a big change spacing it out over that time.

Even for me, the first approach I do of the day usually sucks. Second and third are much better and in the groove. Sometimes I even intentionally blow the first one or just go in to talk to whoever for the hell of it.

Modified_Hackware · 2015-06-17T16:26:10+00:00

Go out. Don't come back until you've done 300 approaches.

Somewhere after 10 you're not nervous any more, somewhere after 50 you really don't give a fuck, after 150 you're not even fazed by hot girls any more.

I'm being serious, go to a big city and just hound every single female walking your way you want to average one a minute.

theyareAs · 2015-06-17T05:34:20+00:00

If there's a hierarchy to redpill thought it'd be:

Frame (inner game, mental aptitude)
Lifting (physical attractiveness, discipline)
Approach (outcome dependence, SMP experience)

Approaching is last on this list because creating true value for your life and general happiness comes from your own physical and mental health, girls and social proof are secondary to "becoming a man."

The trick of cold approaching is that at first you're gonna suck at it. You're gonna suck at it a lot. The goal of doing this (at first) isn't to pick up that hb8 at the bar but to allow yourself to accumulate experience and develop the idgaf attitude through trial and error.

It will get easier with practice just like everything else. Don't get discouraged and keep trying. Learn to live in that discomfort and thrive in it. Be outrageous be cocky be different, you'll be surprised by what works and what doesn't.

The_BeardedGentleman · 2015-06-17T12:43:03+00:00

I noticed a direct correlation between my increase in approaching women, and my overall communication skills as a whole in life. If I can get turned down by multiple 9/10s without giving a shred of a fuck, I can pretty much talk to anyone about anything.

Talking during interviews became easier. Taking things up with the boss man. Speaking to police officers during a pull over, etc. Everything in life becomes a lot easier when you can speak in high stress environments with ease.

[deleted] · 2015-06-17T16:31:51+00:00

I have been shot down more times than I care to remember. Exactly because I don't care, and I don't remember.

Approach everybody, say what is on your mind, start a conversation. This strategy has landed me gigs, made friends, and got me laid. Yes, cold approach is worth it.

pounds_not_dollars · 2015-06-17T13:54:33+00:00

It gives you a dopamine rush afterwards. One you actually deserve rather than watching a movie or jerking off. Just remember you cannot fuck nice feelings. A lot of people subconsciously self sabotage cos they want to cut the interaction off while it is still "nice" and not risk it all by pushing too hard.

KilluaKanmuru · 2015-06-17T13:53:17+00:00

It's a must.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2015-06-17T16:01:16+00:00

It's a numbers game. The guys who get laid the most are often the guys who get rejected the most; they just keep approaching. If you convert 1 in 10* approaches to bangs without something like going for you like a Maserati or your career as a male model, then you're doing great.

Don't worry about the score, just hit the ball.

*Or whatever.

[deleted] · 2015-06-17T06:44:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Danedina · 2015-06-17T08:20:41+00:00

It's a crucial skill, not just for pick-up but for life. The better you are at meeting new people the easier your life will be. It's like giving yourself a running start to a new relationship. Yes, it's horribly discouraging, but think back to those three approaches and answer this question: do you regret them? Or are you proud that overcame your fear and talked to three new women?

Just make sure that you have a plan for where the approach is going to lead. At some point you have to get her to agree to something, preferably more than just getting her phone number.

throw_em_all · 2015-06-17T21:02:45+00:00

Do it for a month and see for yourself, besides how do you even ask if it is worth? Worth what? your time? I mean, if you can make cash instead of going out, I'd totally understand that, but worth what? The emotional toll? Your emotional self can't take the disinterest, the rejections and the pure rudeness of what is interacting with women?

Well guess what, and don't take this personal because it is not about you but if you think you're losing something other than time cold approaching, let me tell you that you're not, because the mere fact that you actually asked that means that your value is absolute zero and your frame is pretty much non existent.

What worries me is the though from where you're coming from, because in essence you're asking how many girls should I approach until I'm confident, until I get a make out, until I get laid and the problem is that you are not focusing on becoming better, you just think about enduring the process with the hope of getting results, and the truth is, no matter how many girls you approach, if you don't enjoy, break down, learn and fix the process, then whatever are your goals will never materialize.

NotReallyEthicalLOL · 2015-06-18T07:27:29+00:00

You're gonna have to get used to being turned down. Fact is, most girls think they're too good for most guys, and you're most guys. Every time you do it though, you'll get better. It's like any skill, practice makes perfect.

The first time you tried to ride a bike, did you stick the landing off that sweet ramp or did you straight fall over? It's like riding a bike.

Title	How important is approaching?
Author	giffengoods
Upvotes	10
Comments	17
Date	June 17, 2015 4:47 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3a4mk3/how_important_is_approaching/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-important-is-approaching.150158 https://theredarchive.com/post/150158

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