How to increase social circle?

fnordsnord · 2018-05-10T16:33:27+00:00

Here's the thing: You have to leave your comfort zone.

Absolutely NOTHING is going to change until you get out of the house and interact with other people.

Sure, the gym has other people, but everyone there is inwardly focused, or they should be, on their workout.

Find something you like to do that involves other people.

Line dancing, bowling, salsa, indoor rock-climbing . . .it doesn't matter, as long as YOU enjoy it, and it involved INTERACTING with other people.

From there, we can help you.

RedPillStudy · 2018-05-10T20:02:41+00:00

Hijacking on this post. What if you’re pretty decent at shooting the shit and making friends for the most part, but like this guy said most guys are either soyboys or pussy worshipping betas (yes guys in gym are mostly this)?

Would this community be interested in a thread or sub that helps us look for other red pillers in the area? I know most guys here like the anonymity, but obviously it can me of your own accord whether to be involved.

Also how cool would it be to find a potential bro/best bud as a TRP accountability partner. Would be good for guys like me who just moved to a new area or needs to replace his beta friends.

What you guys think?

KirthWGersen · 2018-05-10T15:53:46+00:00

I was in a very similar situation a year ago. Now my social life is too hectic, if anything. Try out MeetUp, Internations or whatever other groups are organised in your area. You are bound to find some activity you are interested in or even groups that just meet up to drink, flirt and have fun. I have found these great ways to meet men and women. Making friends is not actually that different to gaming women. Except it is easier to get numbers and rejection is less likely and less painful!

TalionTheWorstRanger · 2018-05-10T15:46:00+00:00

This is some advice I could use also

abdada · 2018-05-10T15:48:53+00:00

Throw big seasonal parties, invite everyone, mandate RSVP and people who don't RSVP don't come -- and people who do RSVP and don't show up don't get invited again.

My summer BBQ has been going on for over 22 years now and people I banned back in the 90s are still banned today -- and they regret it considering the shit I pull each year.

Popeman79 · 2018-05-10T19:03:44+00:00

I was thinking about writing a post about this. Here are a few ideas:

accept all invitations if they can help you meet new people, even by groups that are not cool: a boring person invites you somewhere with their friends? Maybe their friends are cool. Meetup and internations are nice starting points, it worked for me.
BUT, don't go out if your energy is low. It's better to not be there than to be dull or boring. Somedays you're not feeling it, my advice is stay home rather than burn your image
similarly, don't overstay. Stay a couple of hours and have great energy, so that when you leave you'll be missed and people will have a great memory of you. If you hang out with the crowd till 5am and you're drunk and sleepy this is what people will remember of you. Also this allows you to go out multiple times a week.
focus on establishing strong contacts with a few people: you can be fun and vibrant a talk to everyone at first, but after a while focus on talking to 2-3 people who you selected as interesting. Make friends out of them
don't try to fuck girls but befriend them. A female friend will open up much more pussy for you through friends and social proof, whereas if you fuck her she won't introduce you to anyone.

I have an awesome social life. To give an example which reflects the points above: a tinder date that I liked as a friend but was not worth fucking invited me to a bar with other friends. A couple of guys were there and they sounded cool, so at some point I turned to them and said jokingly "well my date is over there but you guys sound way cooler haha" and we started to talk. It only worked because I was full of energy and with charisma and a positive vibe. I talked to them for about an hour while I was still with this good vibe, and when I felt I was getting a bit low and tired I bailed, not before exchanging numbers with the guys. So the memory they had of me was the best version of myself. Then one of them, Rob, invited me to other gatherings and through him I met other people, rince and repeat, always focusing on a couple of persons I found cool.

The point is, people will want to hang out with you if you provide them with value, and don't take value from them. To provide value you need to be fun and full of energy, and to not take value you need to not want to fuck them, and to genuinely find them interesting, not pretend just to make friends.

Hope it helps

94redstealth · 2018-05-10T16:15:50+00:00

First thing you need is an interest. Then from there we can help.

letsbiohackslaves · 2018-05-10T21:37:46+00:00

Join any clubs and organizations! Maybe tech clubs too, or any sports clubs, or maybe business clubs or whatever. Try seeing any classes around too, or your local uni.

HyperSensitiveSigma · 2018-05-10T22:00:32+00:00

I was in a similar situation last year. Worked from home building software. Let most of my friendships hang. Relationship ended, Realized I didn't know too many people. Have built a social circle from scratch these past 9 months.

Facebook groups changed everything. There are dozens for my city, including 'language exchange' groups, where you teach each other a foreign language. Working from home, I built an app in one window, and arranged meetings with girls in the other. I went out 3-4 times a week... some of the friendships stuck. There's also meetup.com. You could also write a short email to your slipped friendships saying "Hey, sorry I let things slide. Im an introvert and work from home. Want to go out sometime?" and send it to all of them. Can't hurt.

I met other people arranging software and music meetups on my local Reddit.

I've made a few friends at pull up bars in local parks. I realized recently I spent most of the last 9 months with women, and I need to make a few more male friendships, as these last longer.

Skills trading work. An hour of software teaching for an hour of someone elses skill.

If these FB groups don't exist in your city, you could make them.

02537-41101 · 2018-05-11T04:56:17+00:00

Talk to more people — with curious intent. The world is a massive adventure waiting to be explored.

Don't be the kid sitting at home; watching the world go by through his window.

3d_truth · 2018-05-11T11:14:07+00:00

I have an easy time increasing my social circle and I'm 30. I find it easy bcoz I live in Bangkok which is full of expats. All expats here are alot more open to creating new friendships bcoz life as an expat is more turbulent. So people are constantly eager to create new connections.

So try looking at expat communities in your city if they exist.

Another route is to look at the pick up community. I have met great guys who are down to go and practice some day game with a wing man.

Title	How to increase social circle?
Author	a_desert_creature
Upvotes	30
Comments	48
Date	May 10, 2018 3:44 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8ifvny/how_to_increase_social_circle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-increase-social-circle.96856 https://theredarchive.com/post/96856

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