How to tactfully dread my LTR

DonaldBaelish · 2016-10-23T10:31:15+00:00

You have not given enough information about how she constructed her argumentation. I hope you understand that if it was a comfort test , you dropping her home without saying a word , being all passive agressive is a fail. If she was seeking comfort , you gave her the opposite.

The whole emotional investment is about using a few beta tendencies so she can sleep well at night. Beeing too alpha or too beta will always be detrimental to a LTR. This is why The Alpha Provider exists.

There is no such thing as I did not want her to go. You either set a boundary that you do not date women that go out partying alone or you just let her. You can't beat GNOs. If she want's to cheat , she will and you trying to be too alpha may contribute to that. Being possessive will work against you , unless you are a 1%er , which you are not.

You are being too passive agressive. This is not a plate. Read the Top posts on LTRs , especially ones from Endorsed members. You are failing miserably and she has nothing to apologize for. Learn to LTR.

rattamahatta · 2016-10-23T09:02:11+00:00

You need to be genuinely too busy to deal with her shit, not pretend to. Fill up your day with stuff and stay away from your phone. Run errands, go lift, get a haircut, reconnect with an old friend, have your car serviced. That's all I know.

TRP_Sam · 2016-10-23T10:22:43+00:00

This thread confuses me.

You're in a relationship yet you're not emotionally invested. You complain about her being petty for bringing up how you're not emotionally available, and you want to dread her ????????

Part of being in a relationship is showing emotion and being open. However, you choose when and how you express these.

Your actions don't line up with what you're telling us. You're either using this girl to stroke your ego, or you actually care about this girl and don't want to be seen as weak. Which is it?

kteara · 2016-10-23T10:48:13+00:00

Update: Well she's texted me saying how she has no trust in me anymore because she "knows" my phone is on airplane mode. She then said how she's been putting in 100% and I have given her nothing back which is bullshit and how she can't be in this relationship anymore.

I replied with "lol my battery died and it was on charge but ok" she's read it and not replied since

stickfiguresk · 2016-10-23T12:42:26+00:00

Just leave it off for the rest of the day. Tomorrow, when she flips out at you, say something like, "calm down, hitler. I had to get a new battery" and stick to that story. The idea you're trying to make her confront is her replacability, but she needs to come about that idea on her own. Keep plausable deniability on your side.

Threads like this need to happen BEFORE she shits on you, not after. TRP is best when it's preventitive. It's okay to manipulate, but shitty to punish.

FrameWalker · 2016-10-23T14:08:49+00:00

A big problem here is your oneitis/neediness. I know because I've been there too. You believe you're not invested but you're worked up/unhappy because she's not meeting your vision of an LTR. Focus on yourself and reducing your own neediness.

jjfast666 · 2016-10-23T15:50:51+00:00

The correct response to a comfort test is not dread. This could damage your relationship.

Basically, verbally remind her you value your time and wouldn't waste a second on a LTR if it wasn't serious.

See my other post for more detail.

Willow-girl · 2016-10-23T14:41:27+00:00

Well, if she's already complaining that you're "emotionally closed and not loving towards her," applying dread will probably finish things off! But since you say you're not emotionally invested, you really don't have much to lose, so no worries.

Title	How to tactfully dread my LTR
Author	kteara
Upvotes	2
Comments	31
Date	October 23, 2016 8:27 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/58xqcp/how_to_tactfully_dread_my_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-tactfully-dread-my-ltr.76485 https://theredarchive.com/post/76485

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