I don't feel like a man

myfirsttimecoding · 2020-04-29T18:58:32+00:00

So your life is good but you haven’t beaten a man up like those street fight videos you watched online? You need to sort your priorities out. This shit doesn’t make anyone a man. How the fuck are you going to be a man when his boys back out a knife? Or when you get curb stomped? Or when you drop the guy and he hits his head on the pavement how far is your business going to take you in prison you biscuit head?

Sort out your priorities and join a combat sport club when lockdown is over

TheTastelessBatman · 2020-04-29T19:15:58+00:00

A real man is the one who fights his anger and not other men.

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2020-04-29T18:58:50+00:00

Good, don’t fight. That shows you are probably smart. 99% of the time it is NOT worth it.

That being said, be prepared and train to fight. Start BJJ, Muay Thai and Boxing 3-6x a week for a year. You will feel very differently both physically and mentally after the time and training you have invested in learning those skills.

DerpJungler · 2020-04-29T19:20:29+00:00

You don't need to get knocked the fuck out to "feel" like man.

It looks to me that you have a lot of energy and nerve stored up.

Recommended ways to release:

Intense sex (preferably with a partner of the opposite sex)
Lift. (My personal favorite)
Martial Arts (Kick boxing and BJJ are fucking great)
Other forms of exercise or intense activities (Run your lungs out, Skydive, Climb up a hill, push yourself)

Channel your energy on something masculine and productive. Control your breathing and be confident around others. This takes time. It takes time to be THE guy in the room.

muricanwerewolf1 · 2020-04-29T19:28:50+00:00

You should probably get that goofy idea you’re a master of manipulation out of your head right now, you’ve just never faced somebody whose decided 100% they’re going to do to you whatever the fuck they want. Some people are violent and can’t be reasoned with. Some people will see you for what you are, untried and soft, and take everything you’ve got if you wander into their neighborhood.

While it’s very respectable you’ve done well for yourself, killers know killers, and you’re not one. If you want the natural respect due a man who is physically dangerous, you should lift, you should be skilled with a gun, and you should take a martial art. Jujitsu is often suggested, but boxing, muy-thai would be good as well.

HungryDogzRun · 2020-04-29T19:01:07+00:00

Sounds like you need to start learning jujitsu. Your welcome brother

Astoree · 2020-04-29T19:21:26+00:00

Just going through comments. Thanks a lot! I'll try jujitsu. What I'm most afraid of is that I don't fall into a trap of rationalizing my combat-conflict averse trait as a virtue. Is this a strength or a weakness.

TRPCops · 2020-04-29T21:35:18+00:00

Getting punched in the head and thrown out of a club wasn't enough? Take a 14d hiatus.....

Lalocal4life · 2020-04-29T19:55:38+00:00

The United States military will provide you with confidence and leadership skills. Within 1 year of my honorable discharge, I had started my own real estate and property management business. I REPEATEDLY had men attempt to challenge my authority and destroy my business.

The Air Force had so slowly taught me so many lessons it became clear why veterans succeed so often. Uncle sam has no time for your lack of confidence, you will either sink or swim.

bumbandit999 · 2020-04-29T20:33:11+00:00

Alphas don't avoid conflicts, are not agreeable or overly friendly. They like challenges and are competitive. You probably are not and feel like a beta. There's conflicts and people challenging you everywhere. It doesn't have to have anything to do with fighting. Your examples are really extreme. I think you probably avoid "fighting" everywhere. If all you do is submit and weasel out of situations instead of challenging then of course you don't feel like a man. That's my take on it. When shit actually does go down and you are with your woman and you get scared or shit your pants instead of standing ground or defending yourself or your woman then you indeed are a pussy and have every right to feel like one. It probably comes down to hormones. When I'm on a testosterone cycle I kind of feel like seeking conflicts unconsciously, never "fold" in social situations, never break eye contact first etc. That mindset gets people in trouble and is not smart but it's masculine/alpha and you feel as manly as you possibly can.

L2diy · 2020-04-29T20:21:38+00:00

As other comments have said, jiujitsu is a great way to get an experience like you are chasing in a safe environment. Nothing manly about getting killed in a street fight. Come train with us sometime

mrradical43 · 2020-04-29T23:06:32+00:00

join a boxing club

nevalutionary · 2020-04-30T00:46:25+00:00

This is why we play sports. I'm extremely grateful to have played sports coming up, and to have been considered exceptional at it. Sports give us a chance to compete with men viscerally without being disfigured (generally speaking). Maybe you should pick up a sport or take up martial arts to get your fix.

SalporinRP · 2020-04-30T01:42:52+00:00

I don't feel like I'm man enough because I've never ever had a real conflict with another man. I've never really felt when someone beats the shit out of you or you beat up someone else.

So do a combat sport like boxing or MMA.

I can't really explain it, but in the heat of the fight (if I caught myself) I'm super good at avoiding it in a sort of "machiavellian" way. I calculate what's on stake, and in my head, it's rarely worth it.

Unless your life or the life of someone you're with is at stake it's not worth it. Getting in bar fights is one of the most retarded things you can do because you gain nothing except an ego boost and could lose everything.

You think people will fight fair? If someone sees you fighting their friend they won't hesitate to either sucker punch you or hit you with a bottle, stab you, etc. Or alternatively you can KO him, he falls onto the concrete, hits his head and dies.

Trust me. When I was a retarded college kid I got into 5 fights. Won 2, 2 got broken up before anything serious happened, and then got my ass beat in the last one. At no point have I ever looked back and thought how great it was.

hoopingblob · 2020-04-30T04:37:16+00:00

The only time you should fight is when your life is in danger or when someone closes life is in danger.

When somebody starts a fight with you, you should do every diplomatic choice to avoid a fight. People who learn martial arts only fight when it's necessary (with small exception of brick heads). We learn how to fight because we want to avoid a fight but it's not always possible.

It's like a condom. I'd rather have it and not use it, than not having it when I need it.

Even if it breaks down to a fight. It's the last resort you should pick. If someone is determined to fight you, you run. Why? Because you don't know if he is alone or with a gang of people. This isn't a movie, you can't beat up 5 guys at the same time.

You should only fight when you can't run, someone close to you is in danger, you know that you have back up when you need it.

TenCondiments · 2020-04-30T16:47:19+00:00

If you get into street fights, you're a fucking dumbass. This shit is not a movie. If you want to learn to physically handle yourself, take a boxing/muaythai/jitsu class.

gve123 · 2020-04-30T20:06:15+00:00

Don't hate yourself please.

See beyond gender. What you said here has nothing to do with gender and rather has to do with humans dealing with conflict situations. It's unpleasant, and you have also caused unpleasantness to the people who saw your ugly regards towards your gender. Who gains from that?

_DeezNuts714_ · 2020-04-29T19:24:44+00:00

Nerd.

bumbuff · 2020-04-29T19:51:40+00:00

I think this is a symptom of needing a goal.

You said it yourself you're successful in other areas of life. You need a challenge. You THINK the next one is being able to fight. But you think wrong.

Sure, you can learn to fight and there's nothing wrong with that. But actually having to fight is not akin to being a man. I'd argue that being able to defuse a tense situation without violence - or running screaming like a bitch - is being a man.

You're looking for worth in a new goal. That is all. Don't be blinded by the over-hyped violence of men in the media.

Lomaxxx · 2020-04-29T20:51:25+00:00

You are no less a man.

I can tell you the feeling of another man wanting to do you harm. Someone who does not listen, was not provoked, no reason - only the desire to hurt.

I think you sound over confident. What you need to be a man in this arena, is not Machiavellian - it's to not underestimate how dangerous a human can be.

What makes you a man is to learn, so learn from my mistake and be prepared to defend yourself, but resist violence. Simply be ready.

Title	I don't feel like a man
Author	Astoree
Upvotes	18
Comments	49
Date	April 29, 2020 6:54 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/gaf74u/i_dont_feel_like_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-dont-feel-like-a-man.657970 https://theredarchive.com/post/657970

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