Okay, so I’m in over my head.

Details:

I’m still a little overweight with some posture issues (lumbar lordosis, but the rest of my posture is on point), but I still get that I’m “above average.” I’m guessing I’m currently a 6 with potential to become an 8.

I’m broke. So broke that I had to leave a big city to move back to my small hometown because of this. I didn't have a car in the big city because I didn't need it, and still don't have one (using parents car), and I also live with my parents to save money.

Shit sucks, but I am using this time to go monk mode, make some progress on my life’s work, and better myself. So I haven't chased any girls.

However, working on inner game and charisma has started drawing women to me. Most recently an HB8.5/9.

So, here’s the backstory:

Randomly run in to this girl in public because she knows my friend. She and I end up talking and we were both really in to the convo. She expresses interest in hanging out with my friend and I, but when we went out she didn't respond. Well, eventually my friend texts her, and she comes out to the bar.

There might as well have been nobody but this girl and I at the bar, because It was me and her talking all night. I was escalating, guiding her by the small of her back, blocking her from unwanted attempts at other dudes hitting her by moving her and rotating to put my back to the dudes that approached. Went for a kiss at the end of the night and there was a little hesitation on both our parts and I ended up kissing her cheek. Lame, but whatever.

Anyway, I text this girl a few days later with some insights about an issue she was having and it struck such a cord with her that she didn't respond for a week. But when she responded she said apologized for not responding sooner, “I didn't know what to say. What you said made so much sense” she said.

I run in to her again while I was out and about. We ended up making out in her car. She tells me in a text a few hours later she enjoyed hanging out and we will hang out again “multiple times.”

The problems:

  1. She has since went radio silent. We texted a few things back and forth the night we made out. Two days later I sent her a text telling her to have a good day, and if she wasn't having a good day she should think about the next time we are going to hang out because that should cheer her up. It’s been two days and I haven't heard a word.

Why the silence?

  1. I have confidence when it comes to being fully clothed in public and whatever, but thinking about fucking this girl is giving me anxiety even though I’m obviously in to her. I have body issues about the aforementioned posture and weight issues. Especially when this girl is fit as fuck.

How do I handle this?

EDIT:

The good in all this is that I now know what I am capable of doing when I up my SMV after I get the condition of my body to match the condition of my mind (which still needs work, but I am more on top of it than my body).

Its also good practice for maintaining outcome independence. I am trying my best to not give a fuck what happens and continue working on myself regardless, remembering that there are many, many more girls out there equally as attractive as her out there, and most importantly, that I can get 'em.