I'm terrible at getting a second date, how can I improve?

TheGreatestSpice · 2021-06-11T16:40:45+00:00

‘I didn’t feel a connection.’

Women to man translated: You didn’t excite me or get my panties wet. I may have been interested in you physically initially but I felt no attraction to you on an emotional level and/or you bored me.

If you’re not getting second dates change your game and approach. ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.’

ajajaj99 · 2021-06-11T17:49:18+00:00

Few quick question. Like mostgianthorse said, are you leading? Are you breaking the touch barrier? Are you escalating verbally?

https://youtu.be/v0OKTy0KvgY

Watch this and pull what you can. Not shilling but he makes good points.

HotDoggityDig13 · 2021-06-11T20:51:28+00:00

Been awhile since I've dated, but here's some tips that worked for me.

First, be clean and dress well. You don't have to be brad Pitt, just wear clothes that fit. Also, no shirts with logos or sayings. Stick to neutral shit. Same goes with cologne and that dumb shit. Better to be neutral smelling than too potent. Also, looking athletic beats expensive clothes every time. So hit the gym if you don't already.

Try not to talk about yourself. Get her to do most of the talking. Should be pretty easy as most women enjoy chatting. Plus you're trying to get to know her so the only way to do that is to get her to talk.

Be playful as well, but don't go overboard. If she asks what you do for a living, make her guess. Give her funny multiple choice answers. This is just one example. Just do something playful based on your own personality.

Find a way to be sexual if opportunity strikes. There's usually an innuendo or that's what she said moment within an hour or two. You can also do a 21 question style game and escalate accordingly. What's the kinkiest thing you're into that you'd admit to a stranger is a good one. Just don't stay on the sex topic for too long. You want to come off as DTF but not someone who only wants sex.

Make sure to initiate physical contact. Hug when you meet her. If she has a tattoo on her arm, inquire about it and lightly touch. Poke her arm when making a joke. Just don't force any touching. Make it look and feel organic. It will become natural after awhile.

Make sure you go to multiple places. Meet at park then go to a chill spot for cheap food then go to a bar for a nightcap. Feels like 3 dates in one. You know your area so put together some 3 spot dates.

Make sure to spark emotion. Dating is supposed to be fun. If you enjoy arcade games or mini golf or whatever, incorporate that. If you have some funny stories from your past, bring them up. Again, make sure they come up organically so you don't brag. You want the night to be fun and memorable.

Always try to smile and keep eye contact. Obviously don't be autistic about it, but just be natural. You should be leading the whole night. Have a plan on how to lead to each destination.

Kiss her. Make sure there's a connection. Most guys do it at the end of the night. I say do it when the time comes. If she's laughing at your jokes, enjoying herself, and better yet, touching you, then find a quiet moment and go for it. Don't plan a spot or time to do it, just let it happen at some point. End of the night is fine if an opportunity never came up. Just make sure you both enjoyed the date.

Finally, I don't care how well it went, don't ask about a 2nd date. Don't do it unless she asks. Just say you enjoyed your night. Wait a couple days for her to reach out. If she doesn't after 2 or 3 days, then go ahead and reach out. Calling is always better than texting. Just make sure it's a good time (not during work or sleep hours). If you think you'll get anxious calling then text until you get more confident.

UpperRedSide · 2021-06-11T20:12:05+00:00

I don’t presume to know everything, but “not feeling a connection,” is almost always connected to a failure to escalate.

You should be initiating touch literally as soon as you meet the girl. Sprinkle in some teasing and “fauxmance” (pretend romance), and keep it light and playful. Continue to escalate. By the end of the date you should either be getting laid, or very close to it.

The quicker you become intimate with a girl, the more likely she will want to see you again, and the more often you become intimate, the longer she will stay.

__transistor__ · 2021-06-11T17:29:04+00:00

I have this problem too. Only about half the girls are interested in a second date. Either I'm saying something that's a turn off or I'm not as good looking as the pictures on my dating profile.

berttbeans996 · 2021-06-11T19:16:42+00:00

Damn bruh. You mind sharing your profile?

I feel like I have the opposite problem. I struggle to get girls to go out with me. I’ve probably had 20 first dates in the last year from using dating apps. Out of all those girls, only one didn’t want to continue dating me. I blame that due to getting out of a fresh relationship and trying to get back into the dating world, she was the first girl I went on a date with from a dating app.

For me, all the girls will dry message me or stop responding altogether. I try to ask out on a date like within the first 3-4 messages. But I feel like if I just get a chance for a date I’ll get them hooked.

I don’t do anything crazy. I just ask them questions, and try to get them talking majority of the time. I try to not talk about myself, maintain eye contact, and have a strong masculine frame.

But I just struggle so bad to get a girl on the date itself. Dating apps kill my confidence because of that.

anonyree · 2021-06-11T19:11:45+00:00

Tease then more, be playful. YouTube how to have good conversations.

What are your passions outside of dating. Goals on life? Mission.

You must be good looking enuff to get dates.

TreatYouLikeAQuean · 2021-06-11T22:09:54+00:00

[removed]

danaw1992 · 2021-06-11T20:47:49+00:00

Is the vide during the date more friendly rather than a date between two potential fuck buddies?

boy_named_su · 2021-06-11T22:28:48+00:00

gotta switch locations
gotta try to get her back to your place (for something innocent)
gotta kino
gotta DARE not DEER https://www.forums.red/p/TheRedPill/4349/talking_with_women_always_dare_never_deer
gotta tease her like your little sister

are you doing these?

cfbovernfl · 2021-06-12T05:26:34+00:00

You didn't polarize and escalate quickly enough. If you haven't already, establish touch quickly, throw in a couple sexual innuendos/teases along the way and at the very minimum, end with a kiss on the first date. If logistics allow, you really should be trying to f-close assuming you're still interested.

tetrachromancy · 2021-06-16T07:52:59+00:00

1) is the interaction Man to Woman?

2) are you comfortable with silence? sexual tension is built in those moments where you’re looking at her sexually and she feels the need to break the tension. you don’t have to keep blabbing to keep the silence filled

3) Are you providing good emotions? Don’t complain about your life problems. Stay positive.

4) Tease her a bunch

5) Move her to another venue, change up the vibe when the energy starts to die down a bit

6) Kino. Use it.

Title	I'm terrible at getting a second date, how can I improve?
Author	dontremindme6
Upvotes	37
Comments	45
Date	June 11, 2021 4:27 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/nxk0s1/im_terrible_at_getting_a_second_date_how_can_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/im-terrible-at-getting-a-second-date-how-can-i.783175 https://theredarchive.com/post/783175

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