LTR is becoming increasingly jealous

lietruth · 2020-04-08T20:47:43+00:00

Looks like a comfort test to me...

An LTR is a constant balance between comfort and dread. Since you're going over to other girls places and probably dreading her quite a bit, try and pass this with comfort. You're not "entering her frame" by doing this. You're being her rock. Comfort tests are arguably equally important as shit tests in LTR's.

You're applying too much dread for this particular woman. There needs to be adequate amounts of both for it to be successful. A balance 80/20 alpha/beta works well.

fannyfire · 2020-04-08T20:29:55+00:00

Don't mention other women to your ltr/plates. Always arouses jealousy and negative behaviour which is seldom abated.

southflsup · 2020-04-08T22:33:51+00:00

You’re in a very good position right now. What you can do is show her a bit of comfort, maybe increase your texting/calling by 10-20% and show her a bit of effort. It is not beta to show her you care about the relationship.

RobbyHagan · 2020-04-08T20:26:27+00:00

You have to confront her on this behavior. Say something like, "Look, I understand that it is uncomfortable for you that I am partnered up with these girls, but you either trust me or you don't. So let me know now before we waste any more time. Do you trust me or not?"

FinancialThanks1 · 2020-04-08T20:25:57+00:00

Comfort her or leave her or put up with it. One of those is obviously more in her frame and more indicative of scarcity

FrickOffAHS · 2020-04-09T02:45:03+00:00

Honestly I think telling her exactly what you told us would help a lot

redhorndog · 2020-04-09T12:18:36+00:00

Why do you want to stop it. Youre dreading her perfectly. She is mate guarding which means she really values you. She wants to know you wont dump her for the others.

Its better she see's you have options and is jealous than her trying to make you jealous and then claiming one thing led to another.

-ThePathIsTheGoal- · 2020-04-09T18:45:58+00:00

I personally wouldn’t do anything.

Everything is in your favor here. She’s completely in your frame and that’s a good thing. I know it sounds manipulative in a sense but you’re not doing anything intentionally. You’re literally just doing a school project with 2 female partners. If your GF gets jealous that’s her problem.

So what happens if you don’t “provide enough comfort” and apply too much dread to the point where she does something to try and retaliate? (cheats, flirts, etc.) Well then cut her loose. Again, you’re just living your life and doing school work. This experience may be a good catalyst to show her real colors. How does she react in a stressful situation?

Those who are jealous to the point of concern are usually those who are most likely to cheat/branch swing/etc. Just keep doing what you’re doing and observe

Domebeers · 2020-04-08T21:43:29+00:00

you want her jealous, hoss

LukeVTruth · 2020-04-08T22:04:39+00:00

"I've got my LTR exactly where she needs to be, what do I do"

God help me but why are there so many pointless threads lately

Just1515 · 2020-04-08T23:57:13+00:00

This is not a bad thing, but you must be careful with it. Some women will use this as justification to "get back at him" or even cheat. This means setting a good example, because she will be guided by what you think is ok through actions too. Ie, if she goes and does this too you can't get upset now. Don't go down that path. She should know what is reasonable (ie, doing university work) and what is not. Try to make this clear, what you think is acceptable and how you acting but at the same time don't cower down to her insecurity.

Don't be overly resting on your laurels here. She need some comfort, but carry on as you are doing. Th perfect balance is where she knows and has examples of you being desirable, but knowing you want her instead. Essentially, she wants to know you could cheat but wont cheat. Cultivate this. Don't be autistic and be so direct about it but a few words of comfort are not going to make you look beta faggot when your actions have already done enough to counteract that.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2020-04-09T01:53:22+00:00

She also mentioned how much I'm wearing 'muscle fit' shirts and that it's unnecessary.

"Are you kidding? These guns are very necessary."

How do I stop this behavior? I believe it will only get worse if I don't do something.

It definitely will if you act like you give a fuck, instead of making your mission your priority.

Always DARE. Never DEER.

If she keeps nagging you repeatedly or outright disrespects you in any situation, ask her to leave, straight up. Don't get mad. Just say. "Hey look, I've got a bunch of chores to do. Why don't you call it a night. I need to focus on what I'm doing. Let me get your things for you."

Should die down once your project is over.

Title	LTR is becoming increasingly jealous
Author	Dense-Panic
Upvotes	21
Comments	23
Date	April 8, 2020 8:21 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/fxe1n4/ltr_is_becoming_increasingly_jealous/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-is-becoming-increasingly-jealous.361400 https://theredarchive.com/post/361400

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