Need advice. Does it ever really go away?

RedHoodhandles · 2018-09-26T12:49:47+00:00

USE THAT RAGE, EMBRACE IT, DO NOT LET GO OF IT. THAT ANGER CAN CHANGE YOU.

I'd rather you were mad and chanelled that anger than have nothing to live for. clearly this bitch will make you mad but thats enough to make you swallow the pill fucking harder. this is a lesson to all men, protect yourself when you get a chick pregnant. this is a sexual strategy sub, expect shit like this to happen

Prysefighter · 2018-09-26T17:17:46+00:00

Man I wish I had the anger back. I got so much shit done when I was still fuming. Went back to school, got As, lost 50 pounds and started lifting. Then she got fat, guy left her, she begged me to come back (I didnt of course) and now that I've "won" I just feel meh. It was a lot funner knowing I was rubbing it in her face but of course she had to screw that up too lol.

joeswo214 · 2018-09-26T13:21:35+00:00

I'm in the same boat with the rage and lack of interest in women. I am struggling everyday to not view all of them as a bunch of manipulative, selfish, entitled cunts. I would just use the rage as an orb of energy to change your life. It fucking blows that you have to let some beta-fag be a part of your kids life.... I'm sorry man

redbananaboard · 2018-09-26T14:43:35+00:00

First, I'm sorry you're facing such a shitty situation. I think just embrace AWALT and don't take it personal. This isn't about you. For your own well being you gotta let it go (not easy at all). Try to build a case and fight for custody if possible. When you say "this guy is a typical beta" is your ego talking, let that shit go bro, what you're sayin' is "I'm not alpha enough so she replaced me with a beta piece of shit" cut the negative speech. I practice MMA (hopefully to compete) martial arts might be a great way to deal with that anger, however, don't go angry to the gym, 'cus they'll kick your ass, I know I will, if some ahole come to try throwing his personal shit at my practice and cause me an injury. Use the anger when appropriate anger without control means shit, learn and respect your process martial arts are an amazing way to let shit go so I highly recommend you to try. Start with some boxing and see how that goes, the way of the warrior will make you humble, mentally strong, flexible, kind, wild, respectful, spiritual and I could go on all day.

CainPrice · 2018-09-26T15:15:21+00:00

This is how it usually goes. Mom is incredibly eager to convince herself and her child that what she has right now, today, is the "real" family, while her daughter's actual Dad is just some asshole sperm donor she wishes she could be rid of. She talks shit about you to your daughter, and if you screw anything up in your life in any way that leaves her an opening, she'll use that to deny you access to your kid. By the time your daughter is 10 or 11, after years of being told what a shit you are by her mother, and only seeing you occasionally for short, awkward visits, she's not going to want to see you.

You need to make the most out of your visits with your daughter. Actually prioritize them. Have a really, really good relationship with her that her mother can't destroy.

And you need to get a girlfriend. Stop moping about how unfair it is that your ex has moved on and move on yourself. The second you're shacking up with a younger, prettier, sluttier version of her, who's also more wholesome, great with your kid, and plays mommy with her better than her real mommy, your ex is going to go crazy and do some stupid shit that you can exploit. You want your daughter coming back to her mother's for the next 10 years talking about how great of a time she had with Dad and (girlfriend's name) last weekend, until her mother rages at her enough that she just stops talking about her good times with you around her mom and mom starts seeming like the crazy evil one to her.

DubbleFUPAwitCheez · 2018-09-26T16:02:20+00:00

I remember that rage. It feels like it can burn down mountains. What caused mine was less lasting than having a kid though so I can't speak specifically on that but what helped me was having someone that genuinely cared to support me emotionally for awhile. Keep finding good people to be around and who you enjoy talking to. You might find some more at an mma class, I hear it tends to be a supportive environment, so it isn't a bad idea. It's not going to stop, it's just going to slowly burn itself out but only as long as you don't feed it more fuel.

lololasaurus · 2018-09-26T19:29:25+00:00

Its time to OYS. Use your time with your daughter to make the best memories you can. Be at every school function. Be at every doctor appointment. Don't be an autist and troll mom doing this, just be there for the kiddo and engaged in pretty much everything related to the kiddo. Never waste time on your phone when your kiddo is there. Do this for you because you want to be involved. Do not, I repeat, do not, do this to hassle mom. She is dead to you, except as necessary to communicate about the kiddo.

And yes. The anger goes away. But harness it for something good in the meantime. Don't have impotent rage that just gets radiated into the universe as heat - direct this energy to improvement.

Son_of_Gatsby · 2018-09-26T13:17:37+00:00

It seems like you're already doing good ( lifting etc. ) and the remaining rage is actually justified: You should have equal "access" to your kid, that guy and her should get their skulls bashed in. Working on this ( not literally obviously ) would be the best thing to alleviate your rage.

More practically though: Is there anything practical you can do to ensure you see your kid more often? As you didn't state where you live ( USA e.g. ) or anything like that, I can't give specific advice on it.

But there are many ways you could fuck their lives up such that you would be responsible for the most part for your child. E.g. if you can show he's not fit to look over the child ( maybe he's smoking weed, taking drugs, alcoholic etc. ? maybe she does something similar as well? ). Maybe you can talk to a lawyer to see if you can get custody or at least a better deal. Your life seems to be well organised so you'd actually have a good case when her life is a mess. In my country this would be a no brainer if you could show she's taking any drugs or something like that.

This depends a lot on your state / country / situation though.

mrHappyPotatoe · 2018-09-26T15:03:29+00:00

Fucking that why men need to invest in insurance before letting any woman into their life.

And by insurance i dont only mean lawyers stuff. Anything including emotions. You should have built your life so in breakup you get the kid. She will fuck up her now.

[deleted] · 2018-09-26T18:58:57+00:00

You think having sex with random bitches wont help, but it will. Don't tell me what appeals to you since you are out of options. Go get laid.

You will be mad till you have another stable fuck in your life, don't worry about other dudes being around your child, that's part of it, hopefully she finds a polite man and stays with him, but it will probably end a few times. If she's trashy enough to have new men around her child, she's going to make plenty more mistakes but your child will be fine. They grow up and they learn from the mistakes made by the parents around them, don't worry too seriously about it unless you see bruises or strange behavior from your kid like he's being fucked with.

Certainly important to look out for that, but usually kids are treated very well by anyone and everyone unless they are obviously trash.

MisplacedSanityP · 2018-09-26T14:42:10+00:00

Actually move on. Is your life better or worse because of your child? Better? Great, so it was a net positive. Worse? Then stop seeing the child and move on completely with your life. Make no mistake, there's no real obligation to be a part of that child's life. If you really enjoy being a part of the kid's life, then be a man and get over it. Enjoy women for what they are instead of loathing them because of what you wish they were. Note, this isn't completely her fault this happened, take some responsibility for it, you should have vetted better. Don't blame the scorpion for stinging you. If you want to go full MGTOW, that's your choice, but that'll likely lead to a worse life.

actually-guy · 2018-09-26T17:01:05+00:00

How sure are you that it's your child? I'm just asking.

WolfenSatyr · 2018-09-26T23:22:13+00:00

Rage doesn't go away. It only waxes and wanes. I use mine to reinforce my frame and make sure I see and respond appropriately to red flags. It guards your borders and fuels your drive.

It shouldn't define you. Others will pick up on it and you'll have a tough time advancing your career and making new personal connections. Keep just enough of it around to let others know that you have the ability and desire to protect yourself and what you've accomplished.

Title	Need advice. Does it ever really go away?
Author	Alexbigem
Upvotes	22
Comments	22
Date	September 26, 2018 12:39 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9j24b2/need_advice_does_it_ever_really_go_away/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/need-advice-does-it-ever-really-go-away.134031 https://theredarchive.com/post/134031

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