Opening up to an LTR

FuckboyAWALT · 2018-02-08T15:04:38+00:00

First of all never be more invested than her.

Furthermore the 2/3 rule worked great for me so far (with plates and in LTR).

I personally don’t like opening up to anyone but my best friend. The reason is exactly what you mentioned before, being vulnerable. Why would you want to be vulnerable, especially to a person that is seeking protection and strength from you?

Ofc you can open up a little. However nothing that makes you look weak or inferior. It simply kills attraction.

Remember being in an ltr means you have to game her permanently, not showing any crackles in your armor and being mysterious.

redhawkes · 2018-02-08T15:11:07+00:00

I've read Mark Mansons "Models", which tells that you should open up to your girl and make yourself vulnerable.

Can't count how many times this has been brought up here.

What he means, it's not being ashamed of your masculinity and owning it, not to be emotional weak bitch.

You need to be her emotional rock and no matter what emotional storm she gives you, your frame won't bend.

Treat her like your bratty little sister. Playfully, teasing, fun, light, think amused mastery. Never show weakness and keep your cards close to your chest.

XV. Maintain your state control

You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, shit tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.

-Roissy

Further reading.

Mental point of origin

And of of course, the fucking sidebar.

icanteven12 · 2018-02-08T16:13:15+00:00

I cried (not ugly) once with a girl in my bed because the movie we watched depicted our relationship and how it would probably end. She said we shouldn't see each other anymore a week later.

First and last time.

[deleted] · 2018-02-08T15:37:53+00:00

Send her the signals and she’ll get the point:

1) Boundary talk with confidence (How do you feel about a guys trip to Vegas? Show her the risk. Then abandon it. Let her know you won’t tolerate hypergamy risk with her either). 2) Long term planning (a trip in three months) 3) Family integration in time (you should meet my sister/grandma/etc)

ChaddyMcChad · 2018-02-08T15:02:56+00:00

About talking about feelings : I would not. I would rather demonstrate them through very strong actions mannered with confidence (kissing, hugging, holding her tight etc..). In my opinion actions speak louder than words.

About opening about your persona : I think you can, especially if you have faced adversity or hardships in the past. Just don’t show a weak side to it. Show that you’re human, and that every human fights inner or outer battles. But show that you are dominating those battles.

Confidence. Not overconfidence. Just confidence.

quicklogaccount · 2018-02-08T16:17:31+00:00

You might either show vulnerability in aspects completely exogenous to your relationship to her (hard days at work, lots of pressure), which is an easy way to do it, or you can show more personal frailties that don't compromise your value, which is harder to do.

Also, should you seek comfort from here if you feel down?

It's not "A" game, you'll tip the power balance a bit, but it's not that bad. As long as you're capable of leaving should things turn south, you're good. Lead the relationship as you will.
On most circumstances guys require their relationships to be easier to handle, less "hard mode" than being single and picking up a million chicks. They realize the due size women, relationship and pussy have on their lives and will want to put the effort required to fill that, not a lot more. And most often, this size and this effort require a chick that makes things easier, a more tame and submissive chick that will allow deviations from the ideal male and will remain attracted. It's not the RP ideal but it's doable, just as long as you retain your capacity to leave.
What you actually can't do is seek reassurance of your value to her, or her loyalty, shit like that. She can, you can't. Well, you can, but the moment she feels you're insecure because you fear you'll lose her, you'll see the tamest unicorn-like chick becoming the awalt bitch that fuels field reports and vents on the main sub.

DetachedLad · 2018-02-08T15:24:50+00:00

The most you want to do, in terms of opening up, is sprinkle some vulnerability game in your interaction with the LTR.

Travis2310 · 2018-02-08T16:34:19+00:00

I want this girl to get more invested in me and establish a solid connection with her since she has good qualities.

What good qualities? Other than sex, what does she offer you? Are those "good qualities" worth giving her the shot to fuck all your shit up? Be honest with yourself.

Should I tell her about my feelings?

No. She will either not give a fuck and think you're a bitch, or store that information in her hard drive in order to use against you in the future.

Should I give her deep insight into my persona?

Would Superman fight Lex Luthor with kryptonite strapped to his chest?

I'm not sure how to handle all this "love" stuff since I had some bad experiences in the past

You obviously have not learned your lesson.

She seems to be really into me and she's very submissive which is why I gotta take all the first steps and move things forward.

5 months is way too short to assume this is her true self.

CutLiver · 2018-02-08T18:00:56+00:00

Being a whiny bitch isn't going to make her more invested in you. If she asks you stuff about your past just be vague... if you do decide to tell her anything bad that happened in your past, put a positive spin on it. But I would suggest not bringing up negative things.

RedSkeller · 2018-02-08T18:12:00+00:00

Bad idea ever trying to level with her. Just be giving her good dick and keep your emotions to yourself.

Viking_RnP · 2018-02-08T20:13:18+00:00

Screaming onetitis. Don't think about what you're going to say. It really doesn't matter. If she's with you cool, if she's not. Cool.

2gunsgetsome · 2018-02-08T21:05:13+00:00

should you seek comfort from her if you feel down?

Absolutely not. Is she your mommy?

Or should you just be quiet and play daddy, providing her with a place where only good things happen

Absolutely, but not at the expense of your own comfort/needs/desires/mission.

I'm not sure how to handle all this "love" stuff since I had some bad experiences in the past (which is the reason why I'm here obviously).

It's healthy to love. Just eliminate the expectation that she will love you back the same way you love her.

Men -> women -> children -> puppies

She loves the way you make her feel, not the intrinsic "you". In your mind, separate "love" from sex. She's not fucking you because she loves you; she's doing that because finds you attractive.

Also remember that you can love many people at the same time. Hell, you can fuck many people at the same time. You are both choosing to only fuck each other, right now.

DevilMayCry · 2018-02-08T21:26:44+00:00

Nah dude, never show weakness

Merwebb · 2018-02-09T03:51:19+00:00

More invested? Passive dread.

Telling her your feelings is a way to make her break up with you. Use it wisely.

Title	Opening up to an LTR
Author	h4nkz
Upvotes	11
Comments	24
Date	February 8, 2018 2:52 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7w5akr/opening_up_to_an_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/opening-up-to-an-ltr.123583 https://theredarchive.com/post/123583

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