Seriously, How The Fuck Do You Make Friends?

SocalFun777 · 2018-10-13T01:03:58+00:00

Join a social hobby, club, job, etc and talk to people

redvelvet_oreo · 2018-10-13T04:09:11+00:00

Honestly any where I go I talk to people. At the bar, at a new job, at the coffee shop. I find ways to open people (not just women) and have a normal conversation. Some times I start out complimenting a persons shirt. Sometimes I just say hi. Usually it leads to a logical conversation.. Where you from? What do you do for work etc. In that though I usually am very outlandish and find ways to fuck with peoples reality. For example if some one asks me my name in return I will respond with usually "I am big dick Tom but since I don't know know you you can just call me Tom."

Usually this just breaks the ice with people. Gets a laugh. Everyone is more comfortable and then you just keep going. Its not so much what you say it how you say it and also that you break out of the prison of logic. Anyone can answer a question logically or say obvious logical shit. Once you learn to never answer questions logically and say whatever is on your mind you will see people will connect with you more because you seem fun and exciting and full of mystery. People don't know whats coming next. Also passing shit tests goes hand and hand with this. Being outlandish and saying whatever you want will trigger people to test you and shit test you. You already know the rules on passing shit tests. It works for women and men. Men accept you better for taking shit. Women find you more masculine when you do.

Terra501 · 2018-10-13T03:43:33+00:00

Clubs and social groups. Bonus if it’s something you are passionate about, then others will see that and it increases your magnetism. Stand-up comedy, gardening, computer programming, a foreign language, an instrument, hiking etc.
Learn a skill, get good at it, and you will be drawn to others who have the same interest.

Avoid: Classes because you will sit in silence listening to someone monologue and have very little interaction with those around you.

As you know once you were with other people show genuine interest and listen and they will be drawn to you.

One other thing - people are careful who they accept into their clique. you may be the one standing around holding your glass with very little eye contact or interest shown to you from others for sometime. remain chill and someone will start chatting you up and including you if you show persistence. Frequency + Proximity always equals friendship if you just play it cool.

XXXNINETACION · 2018-10-13T02:59:52+00:00

I made friends by joining clubs and just talking to people after class. I made an effort to do that. Or if I’m sitting next to someone in class before class start I’ll be like “how you feeling bout this class so far?” And make a conversation out of that

MattyAnon · 2018-10-13T14:38:57+00:00

Most people don't make friends. They run into them during school days in grade school. They spend time with people on their sports teams and clubs by default, they join fraternities and have their social life handed to them on a silver platter. Friends happen to most people.

This is actually asked a lot here.

So I made a blog post about it.

Here you go: https://www.trp.red/p/mattyanon/779

(OP: If you're not happy linking from there to here, drop me a line and I can remove it)

buddahbusted · 2018-10-13T10:33:18+00:00

Nobody is handed a real friend. You’ve got to be a friend to make a friend, you have to go out of your way by being real with someone. There are people out there looking for authentic connection. Where you come from doesn’t matter.

What you don’t have is a clique. Fake friends that are just a cabal of bullies. They all subconsciously hate each other and if they didn’t have the world to inflict their negative psyche on, they would turn on each other. You see that such a clique can help you get ahead. Yes you do have serious disadvantages, but not necessarily in the way you think.

Most likely your parents tried to over protect you from other bullies while they bullied you, turning you into a bully. In a way you probably didn’t even realize.

And people can tell you don’t want friends, you want a bully group. Maybe you can learn to find it, but if you want friends you have to work on yourself by being an interesting person with your own hobbies and interests instead of feeding off others like a vampire, and being value to the table.

This place is full of bullies who want to bring you down to their level. But just do your own thing and resolve the unresolved shit from your childhood. Turn your weaknesses into your strength.

You now know what it is like to be lonely, and the value of a good friend. That can make you a real friend to someone. Not a fake long term codependent relationship masquerading as a friendship when it is more of a mutual bullying exercise.

VolatileEnemy · 2018-10-13T02:18:20+00:00

Doesn't make a total difference. You can easily move or lose all your friends with little or even a lot of effort by yourself to keep them.

Making friends isn't easy, maintaining them takes effort, yeah some are handed friendships, but not always, some people struggle to build them throughout their lives.

To make friends you should go around doing good things for people and they will hopefully be receptive to you.

If you go into the world with a lot of innocence and smiles, you can make a lot of friends too. Some people make friends with people on the train, on the bus, on the elevator, they just keep in contact with them.

look_good · 2018-10-13T14:32:03+00:00

first, if you don’t already, lift. get in good physical shape. read interesting books. watch stand up comedy. learn humor. try different hobbies. interact with strangers. take it easy, be a chill guy.

YesVeryKewl · 2018-10-13T14:40:09+00:00

You gotta act cool and friendly and initiate plans.

RobertCarraway · 2018-10-13T15:43:07+00:00

Bad for girls - these strategies do not create attraction, but it is fantastic advice when applied to other men. Buy it today. https://www.amazon.com/Summary-Influence-up-date-real-world-ebook/dp/B076TCJ73J/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?ie=UTF8&qid=1539445321&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=how+to+win+friends+and+influence+people+by+dale+carnegie&psc=1

carb0ncl1mber · 2018-10-13T16:34:08+00:00

Friendship is the result of repeated positive interactions between people over time. This is why it develops in school. You have class with someone everyday, you like what they say, you enjoy their company, a friendship develops.

Put yourself in situations where you can have that repeated interaction. A class, a routine, a place you request. It takes weeks.

[deleted] · 2018-10-13T19:18:19+00:00

Hopefully you're not homeschooling anymore, right? Are you attending university or something? If that's the case, simply be yourself and strike conversations with whoever you meet in there. I know the advice might sound a bit too simple for your complicated situation, but that's pretty much all there is to it. The goal is to find a social place where people actually get to coexist together and there is a potential to speak about something, and make yourself existent in that time and place and friends will just happen. Some of the people you'll talk to won't be responsive, others wouldn't talk back to you, but some will, and those will be your friends, for sure.

The most attractive thing in men and women is when someone is being himself and is having fun all the time. Be that one guy that you're always looking forward to exchange a conversation with, even for a few minutes. Ever since I got into TRP and started being in tune with my thoughts and emotions, people's eyes light up everytime I join their social circles to talk about whatever they're discussing. I'm not trying to make friends, I'm merely being myself and living the moment. And it didn't come to me naturally either. I used to be that anxious potato in school and uni who couldn't make friends. But ever since I started working on myself and started looking better, I started working on this paritcular skill little by little.

To answer your "How the fuck?" technically, here's a very nice technique that I use everytime I meet someone.

First, be respectful. Don't try to tease or make fun of them just yet. Just make sure that they feel comfortable around you and that they know for sure you're not a psychopath. Make the mood of this part of the conversation as light and positive as possible. Be humorous, compliment them on their looks or what they're doing or anything. Bottom line is to make them feel comfortable.

Once that phase is over, here comes the part that will make them like you: tease them. How to tease them? Did you watch 8 Mile featuring Eminem? I learnt this from his rap battles. Doesn't matter who the person is, he'll always make fun of him.

One guy was jacked, "Look, Snoop Dogg just got a boob job!"

One guy was skinny had braids, "You look like a fucking worm with braids"

One had cronrows (or smth), "You had them crownrows rolled too tight".

One guy was called Clarence, "This guy's gangsta? His real name is Clarence!"

Trust me. The possiblities for teasing things are absolutely infinite. You don't have to be rude. You just scan the person, look for something interesting or unique about them and make fun about it in a friendly manner. Work on your facial expressions, always make it look funny by smirking and initiating a laughter and stopping before it even begins (rappers do this all the time, that's where I learnt it from).

Other advice is to always say whatever the fuck comes in your mind (in the boundaries of respect and rationalism ofc). Try loosening up and always actively look for something to talk about.

Use the cues of the other end of the conversation as fuel for what you say. Ask questions, crack jokes, make suggestions, tease them... have fun!

Remember, it's a skill. You need to work on it. It won't happen in a day or two, I had to experiment with this shit for more than 2 months now and still do sooooooooo many cringing mistakes. But it works for the greater part.

If you need further help, I'll gladly help you.

Been there. Done that. Got the T-shirt.

needoptionsnow · 2018-10-13T20:47:38+00:00

Cool interactions over time

red_matrix · 2018-10-13T21:39:02+00:00

Get a motorcycle and go to bike meetups. Bikers are welcoming and tight groups.

xx-Rain_Maker-xx · 2018-10-13T23:39:34+00:00

"Hey! you're fun. Wanna hang out together anytime soon?" It's that simple.

DaBaulz · 2018-10-13T12:49:20+00:00

Lift

Join a club

Smile and ask guys if they wanna go for a beer or wings.

Don't be needy

Being needy is obvious your problem, but I'd start at all those things above simultaneously

weroafable · 2018-10-13T13:37:08+00:00

What everyone else said and read The charisma myth.

JonathanMekerset · 2018-10-13T03:29:31+00:00

Joining something means getting it handed to you?

AmazonAlphaMale · 2018-10-13T03:45:13+00:00

If you can’t go into a bar and make friends that’s on you

Title	Seriously, How The Fuck Do You Make Friends?
Author	m4ch1ina
Upvotes	48
Comments	37
Date	October 13, 2018 1:00 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9npv0s/seriously_how_the_fuck_do_you_make_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/seriously-how-the-fuck-do-you-make-friends.1763 https://theredarchive.com/post/1763

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