Splitting the bill?

AlexanderTheBread · 2018-06-29T03:08:30+00:00

Since I value my time and effort more than money, I usually try to get girls to come near my place and offer to cover the bill since she drive or took transit. I appreciate saving some time and improving our logistics 10x. She also appreciates being treated to something and feels more or less equal.

You can also do a “You can take the next one” when you’re going on a date. This can set up a healthy dynamic for future dates with the same girl where you take turns covering the bill.

If you insist on splitting the bill, go for something cheaper like a coffee, a snack or a couple of drinks and say “Mind if we split?”. You can also do the following. When the bill is going to be on its way, take out your wallet. If she does the same, she expects to split it. If she doesn’t, since the bill is relatively small, you can grab it.

Finally, if she makes significantly less than me, I might cover more of the bill or more often. YMMV.

If you’ve genuinely had a great time with the girl and she seems to have had a great time with you, it’s even better to split the bill. In any case, when she pays for herself, you are safe from the case where she feels like you’re buying her.

LeftAndRed · 2018-06-29T02:21:05+00:00

Paying the whole bill isn't a bad thing itself. It's the intention. If you pay the whole bill because you feel pressured then that's bad. If you pay because you're feeling kind and wanna do it then go for it.

Splitting the bill is totally fine. Women wanna be treated like equals so here it is. They pay for their own stuff, just like my buddy would.

Thethrowawayoption · 2018-06-29T05:38:41+00:00

If you're doing everything else right there're really no hard rules, so no need to worry about it. IFF you set expectations correctly going in, it won't matter whether you pay, she pays or it's a split. The most alpha thing is always to set everything up so that it all goes smoothly according to however you wanted/planned it. You'll know you're doing it right when you go out together, and when it's time to leave you both present your credit cards with no need to discuss, and no attempts at entitled cuteness from her.

One small example of setup: I never go on a "date" with a woman at first. The word date conjures up all the same man-takes-care-of-woman olde time inequality BS that convinces inexperienced guys to pay for everything and buy tons of gifts and otherwise idolize their girl until she feels like she's better than them and decides to leave. Instead I either avoid labels altogether or think of labels that assign us individual responsibility like "meet up" or "play together" or "hang out". It is a date but between equals, and once I've established expectations for norms of behavior between us using the word date no longer fucks anything over because she knows what to expect with me.

That is just one example, but the point is that if from the start you treat a woman (or anyone really) like you expect her to make her own decisions, and to carry responsibility for herself and her expenses, she's much more likely to do it while with you. Doing this the right way also both makes her feel good (equal) and makes you look powerful and in-control while everything goes how you wanted it to.

If she tries to act cute to make you pay, laugh, call her spoiled and don't say anything that accepts her behavior like "it's ok". Maintain frame: you're unaffected emotionally, but the spoiled little girl will pay her half. If she can't pay, then she's buying for you at an equivalent price next time.

Most of the time women I go out with pull out their cards at the same time I do, or we had separate tabs to start with. When the check comes usually the only discussion is whether we split 50/50 to make it easy on the waiter or split exactly based on what each of us ordered. If that isn't happening for you already, you can even set it up ahead of time. Make the invite imply she's paying her own way like, "I want to go to that expensive sushi place. Can you afford to come with me?" or have her pay for you sometimes with "hey, want to buy me a drink tonight?" Women with careers often love to spend money on a hot guy, so it's totally possible to be a mooch if you're into that.

TL;DR of all this rambling is that if you correctly maintain your frame then splitting the bill, or even getting her to pay for you sometimes, is clearly expected, she will intuit it going in, and so it becomes a non-issue.

Good luck!

ENTPunisher · 2018-06-29T02:43:52+00:00

I went out on a date with a younger Jewish girl and told her "quit it, they won't accept your shekels here." Bitch venmo'ed me later.

DadOnDabs · 2018-06-29T04:46:39+00:00

When the person you are going to pay asks "together or separate" just say seperate

voxiqs · 2018-06-29T02:12:44+00:00

To give context I’m 31, make good money and wanna spin plates.

aaaGreg · 2018-06-29T04:24:58+00:00

Bitches never offer to split the bill. After a couple dates get her to buy every other round when y’all are out.

aguywholifts · 2018-06-29T05:06:23+00:00

Rip it in half and give her one half and you take the other. Very alpha display of dominance and dgaf attitude.

Lambdal7 · 2018-06-29T11:10:32+00:00

If you pay, she will let you seduce her easier if you displayed alphaness and comfort the whole evening.

If you pay, but you were beta the whole night she will make it more difficult, because if you don't have any alpha qualities except providing, she needs to see how much providing she can squeeze out of you first.

boy_named_su · 2018-06-29T03:43:38+00:00

Keep the bill small as fuck. No dinners. Keep wine at home

Vulgar_Professional · 2018-06-29T04:22:08+00:00

Always go to pay the bill, but if she offers to split it just let it happen

Zahlix · 2018-06-29T06:39:59+00:00

I like to just cook at home, eating out is for suckers who don't know how to cook

bannedfromWTFmod · 2018-06-29T12:29:54+00:00

If you're on a date and you're having a good time and its mutual, if theres no talk about splitting just cover it. I'll probably catch shit about this( " dates are only rewards for whatever") but you're not going to keep a top notch piece of ass by being cheap on date one. Plates and ONS material obviously split the bill or get them to cover it through teasing them about something and saying " prove it."

If you aren't having a good time or see IOD, say " Can we get our checks"

Or if you're doing drinks, as you are sitting down say something like,

I'll get the first round of you get the second

even if this is a top not girl because you're showing equality.

TheRedPillMonkey · 2018-06-29T12:51:54+00:00

First of all, never pay for her bill on the first date. Second, the first date should never be dinner. Drinks or coffee only. The best way to do this is to just say "I'll get this round if you get the next" or only buy yourself a coffee at the coffee shop. Treat her like you would a friend. She's just some girl after all.

On a dinner date, just be bold about bringing it up. You're going to find the most successful guys on here have no problem making it clear they're not paying. If they protest, that's their problem.

The only way you should ever pay for her is if you make significantly more and like going to places she can't afford. Then that's in you. Otherwise, plan for her to pay for herself.

Metalgear222 · 2018-06-29T16:26:04+00:00

"Would you bring 2 checks? We're gonna split it."

Continue as if you had just ordered a water to-go

kyzen142 · 2018-06-30T00:37:07+00:00

Well if you believe in splitting the bill then go for it. It doesn't matter how to do it in an alpha way but it is the feeling behind it. You say what you believe and you stick to it.

friendandadvisor · 2018-06-30T06:44:01+00:00

For me, I always pay for the first X number of dates till I'm in a 'defined' relationship, whatever it is. Then, I'll casually say, while we're kicking it, "Hey, why don't you buy me lunch?" Not questioning, as in 'Why don't you ever..." more like "Hey, let's go to X's, and you pay!"

cptgoatsack · 2018-06-29T09:12:21+00:00

I don't do dinner dates. I go for drinks, arrive early and order mine and find a seat before she gets there. Takes care of everything.

hb8only · 2018-06-29T10:12:01+00:00

I have read it like spilling the pill :D

Black_m0ngoose · 2018-06-29T02:58:44+00:00

"We're Going Dutch."

If she protests and cancels, then your perceived SMV is probably too low to get away with it, anyway. Saved yourself a rotation in her orbit.

Terdmuffin · 2018-06-29T03:08:25+00:00

When you ask your server or bartender for the chdck just tell em it's split. It's not about doing it in an alpha way or whatever.

FlyingSexistPig · 2018-06-29T05:47:16+00:00

Start with, "Oh no, I'm sorry, I've forgotten my wallet. Can you cover the bill?"

Then continue, after a bit with, "Ha ha, just kidding, we can split the bill after all. I found my wallet in my pocket"

wobbleelbbow · 2018-06-29T14:17:36+00:00

Where is the question? How old are you? Do you even have money of your own because it seems too much of a problem for you so you must be broke or just 18-20 with no job. Seriously I do not get your question at all

Rene-Girard · 2018-06-29T05:10:00+00:00

What are you guys on about? The girl is not even part of the decision. The waiter will ask you if you want a split bill and you just say yes. Or if the waiter brings the bill, you just give them the cash for your part or give them your card and tell them to pass half on it.

Title	Splitting the bill?
Author	voxiqs
Upvotes	20
Comments	56
Date	June 29, 2018 2:12 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8uphj4/splitting_the_bill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/splitting-the-bill.101372 https://theredarchive.com/post/101372

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