Suicidal

themostgianthorse · 2021-05-11T19:42:40+00:00

3 years ago, I was sitting in a rehab because I was depressed and anxious as fuck and was convinced that my life sucked and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I made plans several times to find a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I left the rehab. Got the balls to get a divorce. Got my drinking under control. Found this lovely gem of a book called no more mr nice guy. Fixed my shit. Started lifting again. Changed my attitude. Spun plates for a while and now am happily in an LTR and feeling more motivated everyday.

You can do it man.

RedLegendx · 2021-05-11T20:20:48+00:00

Instead of killing the physical you, you have to kill that old you, the depressed one, the one with the negative thoughts; start working on yourself and be kind to yourself. You don’t have anything at all going for you? I’ll give you something to do for starters, get to a gym. Train.

MrNeurotypical · 2021-05-11T21:17:48+00:00

This IS the right forum. You and other guys like you are the reason red pill was created. It's men helping men because too many of us are killing ourselves. You should hard next the shitty family and stop killing your testosterone with alcohol. That's why you're depressed. Testosterone is an antidepressant, actually. I drink every single night too and just inject that shit.

TeddyMGTOW · 2021-05-11T19:53:18+00:00

Sorry to hear your situation. Call 911 if in doubt and get help...

Now an amusing anecdote, actually read it in the newspaper. There was a guy in USA that wanted to off himself. He had a gun and drove now to Mexico and checked into a hotel in TJ. He decided on one last night out. He scored a hooker and some blow. In the morning he decided life was not to bad and decided to go home....Not sure if this was an appropriate story but I think there's something to it...

athrowaway-9001 · 2021-05-11T20:40:20+00:00

The only way you can pull yourself out of a dark place is by taking care of yourself. Depression is a sickness in the mind, it's the bodies way to tell you that something is wrong.

It doesn't help that alcohol is a depressant. Alcohol will steal the happiness from tomorrow in lieu of numbing the pain. None of that ever works in the end-- in fact it will make it worst.

The best things you can do is take things slowly. Clean up your environment. Clean up yourself. Build yourself up through cardio and lifting. Meditate to cleanse your mind and to rationalize everything in your mind. Brush up on the sidebar and all of its readings.

Ultimately, only you can decide to improve and save yourself. Seek help from others if you can and seek counseling.

319Skew · 2021-05-12T03:38:05+00:00

Yep. Right after my separation. When the woman I loved for a third of my life, forced me to walk from my marriage.

My biggest fear was starting a broken home so I waited to have a kid because I wanted to be sure. I took a leap of faith and got my (then) wife pregnant. Was stocked. Got laid off. No worries I had saved money. She decided that it was my fault.

I internalized it. When things ended, she tried to keep me from my kid, forced me to hire a lawyer, went through depression and alcoholism where my sis and brother had to do an intervention.

I lost my home, my savings, my job, my wife, pride and most of all my kid.

Was sitting in my car, way too close to ending it all. Thought about my ex and her raising my kid without me.

Thought fuck that.

Did a turn around, slowed down the drinking, and started to sub it with womanizing and working out.

Landed a decent job. She realized that being a single mom sucks, started to play nice, judge ruled out DA and her other accusations...

Ffwd and there are moments where I start to feel like shit, realize that I choose what emotions I choose to harbor. Accept that some days I will be sad and that's ok. Realize that you can get addicted to a mindset that destroys you and train myself out of it.

I'm in a better place. You guys and my closest friend know about this.

You have options. You existed prior to the moment you're in right now, and can exist after. Your pain doesn't define you. You can't eliminate it but you can manage it.

redditdawg11 · 2021-05-11T23:50:13+00:00

Have you ever been on antidepressants? Ever tried psychedelics?

kdsflyfree · 2021-05-12T00:23:31+00:00

Yes. Wife of almost 30 years left. I was shattered. Drinking too much, crying and depressed constantly.

Pulled out by surrounding myself with people who care about me, moved close to family and got a roommate so I wasn’t alone.

Found 2 great books, one on how abandonment physically strikes at your most primitive physical functioning and exercises to overcome the depression. Another one on narcissists and co-dependency.

But it was really RP that explained what happened to me. But that’s how I process stuff—I have to understand first. Immersing myself in the RP lit did that for me.

Oh and physical exercise was a must. Forcing myself to get to the gym and pool.

Scout_XYZ · 2021-05-12T02:59:13+00:00

Lots of good responses here, I’ll just add one.

Jordan Peterson’s work, YouTube videos, and emphasis on doing meaningful work/finding meaning in one’s life is fairly useful.

It’s brought a lot of depressed people back from the brink, including myself.

tetrachromancy · 2021-05-12T04:57:33+00:00

Get yourself a therapist while you work on the core RP tenets

LonelyPandy · 2021-05-12T05:56:26+00:00

This post struck a lot of chords with me because it reminded me so much of myself just several years ago. I would say I’m still not perfect and often get stuck in the fantasies of my brain & long for women I shouldn’t care about at times, but I have made progress. Suicide is something that has tempted me throughout my life but ultimately finding a purpose, disciplining myself, and leaving the nest really improved my outlook.

I’ve read some of your responses and you say you lift, do you lift often?

Are you employed?

What are your current goals?

What have you already achieved?

If you want to pm me or even just talk on here I’m down. I’m not perfect myself but I feel like I can relate a lot because I’ve been in very similar shoes. Keep grinding and take it step by step. One small step towards your goals each day

goodbetterbest1990 · 2021-05-12T06:01:30+00:00

The things I'm typing here are easy for me to say, but very difficult for you to do. I went through an almost identical situation. Depression since childhood, bad family, horrible education etc. Now the depression is no more, family has been cut off, and am back into a good university (I'm in mid 20s).

Reading what you types is like looking in a mirror.

Keep in mind that the moment I got a grip on my situation, I immediately went into therapy to boost my chances of finally getting out of depression. Had to change therapists twice. The third one finally did it for me. Remember that these people deal with guys like you and me on a daily basis and are much better at helping us, and that there are bad therapists too.

Your outcome will vary, but the process is almost the same.

You are tired of your circumstances and your inability to change them. You try again and again, but you fail back to the same place.

You have to understand that you are not your brain completely and whatever it thinks up and speaks to you day in and day out can be straight out rejected. It's like ignoring a senile old man. You are your brain just as much as you are your hand, or your leg. Once you internalize this, it becomes much easier to pull your mind out of the gutter and start fixing things for the long term.

Find one thing that you currently care about and make sure you touch it up everyday. This will ground you. If you have nothing you care about, find a gym and get into fitness. Keep at least one thing that you do everyday. It'll maintain sanity through the process.

Then begin killing off your old mentality. It's all a mentality issue. The bad environment simply catches you like chains and amplifies it. This is when you start reading books. Trp is surprisingly good at this stage.

Once you start regaining energy, channel focus into personal relationships. Get good at talking to people. Get good at maintaining casual relationships with other people. Say that grandma downstairs good morning everyday. Start with the small stuff and build up.

Your aim is not to reach some particular level in all this. Your aim is to enter a process and do your very best to maintain it.

Body building and social interactions happen to be two areas that massively help with depression while also becoming incredibly satisfying to do.

And most importantly, try to get professional help. You, just like me, have used up years of your life trying to fix yourself. It hasn't worked yet. It's time to try a different angle of attack.

No amount of motivational speech or mentality books work, you and I both know it. It's because you aren't yet invested in the process.

Set daily and weekly goals. I kept a paper on which I tracked my weights, and the number rof people I talked to everyday. The human mind is a terrible master but an excellent slave. Give it specific goals and it automatically tries to achieve them.

It'll be incredibly draining at the beginning. Brotalk may pump you up for some hours or days, but don't depend on it. Just trust my words and soldier on. It gets easier with time and the brain practically rewires itself. It has taken years to get to this damaged point, it'll take time to get better.

Here's what the recovery process feels like: Every few months, you feel like there has been progress and you're out of the rut. But actually you aren't. After a few months you progress further and feel like this time you're finally your. On some random months you feel that you're back into the hole. But just soldier on slowly. Looking back, it took me 1.5 years. But after every 3-4 months, I felt like I'm out of the hole, and then I progressed some more and felt like I was not out 3-4months ago, but I'm out now. This cycle repeated for 1.5 years. Now I'm finally out.

Now there's still not much happiness. But there's an incredible amount of peace and confidence in myself.

All the best my man.

dracoj21 · 2021-05-11T20:21:31+00:00

Meditate and you’ll see this is all just thoughts and feelings

winefox · 2021-05-12T01:11:16+00:00

Some old RSD Tyler helped me back in the day. I think he made all of his older videos private which is a shame, but one thing I learned from him is that you should try to find something in your life that pushes you forward. Whether it be money, how’s, or self improvement in a selfish sense, find something that makes you want to wake up everyday.

bachbozo · 2021-05-12T06:55:43+00:00

First; try to conceptualize that you are not inherently your thoughts.. Perception is incredibly malleable.

What got me out of my darkness/amphetamine addiction comprised of (in no particular order):

a) Eliminating toxic plant sources from my diet and consuming high fat cuts/organs; white rice, avocados, berries, and other low lectin plants are the only non animal sources you should eat. 95% of alcoholics are hyperglycemic - look at sugar/simple carbs as the motherfuckin devil. Wise doctors like Dr Saladino absolutely rocked my perception and healed my damage cortex.

b) Buteyko breathing method (google it)

c) Nofap; gotta save that Chi for the real thing, jerkin it only inhibits one’s drive to connect with a woman and grab life by the balls (no pun intended haha)

d) Psilocybin - potentially the most powerful tool I am advocating.

e) Committing myself to surfing/cello/cinematography (whatever passions you enjoy)

f) Avoiding the internet/screens for anything but business/knowledge and occasional self betterment Redditing - it is not a toy.

g) Exercise

h) reading the greats like Camus, Dostoevsky, Hesse, etc.

AA might help you find comrades in a similar predicament (though I believe the regiment is inherently flawed) and bring peace that you are not alone in this struggle; lotta good souls in that program with years of experience.

Good luck brother

RedEyeBlackEye1 · 2021-05-12T12:02:48+00:00

Get on your fucking SELF IMPROVEMENT GAME motherfucker.

This shit is unacceptable, YOU'RE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS AND YOU DONT EVEN REALIZE IT. IM LEVELING UP ALITTLE EVERYDAY BC I BUST MY ASS FOR THIS SHIT. IM NOWHERE NEAR WHERE I WANT TO BE, BUT IM HELLA BETTER THAN I USED TO BE. No excuses, OP, get your ass to work.

Edit: YES, caps bc it needs to be EMPHASIZED. I don't know you, but know I wanna win. I also know that I want you motherfuckers to win too dammit.

King_of_kings4 · 2021-05-12T04:32:42+00:00

Imo this forum is toxic.

Killyourinnerloser.com if you're serious about change.

Title	Suicidal
Author	redditdawg11
Upvotes	41
Comments	59
Date	May 11, 2021 7:36 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/na5kzk/suicidal/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/suicidal.757642 https://theredarchive.com/post/757642

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