Thinking about changing employment spots with my wife....right now she is for the most part a stay-at-home mom and I work as a financial advisor. We're considering me staying at home and she working...but wait, there's more to it than that, please read on.

raredare359 · 2015-05-22T22:46:17+00:00

You have to let her believe your passion, your vision and your absolute intent in making this thing work. Make her absolutely believe it. That way, when things get tough at work, she can find comfort in the fact that she is making a good investment and the fruits of that will come.

ToshiroOzuwara · 2015-05-22T23:52:42+00:00

This would terrify me. When you stop being the provider, your status will go down. If you suck at writing, this could be the beginning of a bad ride.

Why can't you write during evenings? People want to get ahead/do something, but they never seem willing to make sacrifices for it.

Besides, you should probably prove you can write ~anything~ before you quit your job.

favours_of_the_moon · 2015-05-22T21:38:38+00:00

Don't still count on it being "our" money anymore.

But here's the thing. If you know finance, you can probably still make money from home. Do that while you work on your book and/or generally do your thing.

gucciswahgg · 2015-05-23T01:28:14+00:00

Because you ask this question you already know:

YOUR ARE TAKING A RISK.

This is what men do. You're lucky that your wife is supportive, but don't think for a second she will stick around if you're writing goes nowhere. YOU SHOULD BE TAKING THIS RISK REGARDLESS IMO. You should be pursuing your own happiness within reason, not hers

You have a window as far as your relationship stability. an extremely small one. As an artist I personally applaud you for leaving work you don't feel fulfilled in. Just know that, as for as your relationship with your wife, you are rolling the dice

newuser775 · 2015-05-22T22:00:12+00:00

You are the man so you are the foundation. Stay the foundation. However you make it work, stay as the foundation.

NickCiufi · 2015-05-22T23:35:20+00:00

Start a business. Books have a super super low success rate.

dandar4600 · 2015-05-23T14:17:03+00:00

You have to have the frame of steel. She WILL lose some respect for you and will try to use it in arguments against you. You better have plan with clearly established reachable goals and an end game where you will be self sufficient. You need to hold the frame, be dominant and outcome independent. And it will still be harder than what I'm describing here. This will be TRP on steroids.

thelotusknyte · 2015-05-22T22:18:31+00:00

I'm willing. However my firm has performance requirements and there's no way they'd let me cut back without just firing me.

KyfhoMyoba · 2015-05-25T00:33:14+00:00

So we're toying with the idea of her taking a full-time job, which for some reason she's itching to have anyway

First off, this would alarm me. Leaving the caring of her son is not feminine behavior. Also, it vastly increases the chances/opportunities for infidelity.

Second, when the wife makes 60% or more of the household income, divorce is an 80% probability, i.e., if she's the beta bux, what does she need him (the 90+% of guys that are not 'hawt', i.e., good/great genes) for?

FACT: When she earns it, it will (almost certainly) never be 'our' money. She may pay lip service to it, but you can bet that in her mind that it will be her money.

FACT: When you and your wife fight, her sister will take her side and attempt to out vote you.

tl;dr - Yes, it's a bad idea. Write in the evenings and on the weekends. Tell your wife that Jr. needs her during these important years.

penguin_says_slide · 2015-05-22T21:37:11+00:00

At some point I moved in with a girl so I left my room and my roommate. I had the option to sublet my room, but I chose not to.

There was plenty of conflict and in the heat of the moment she asked me to leave her room. I mostly ignored it and kept on, however one time I took her up on her 'offer'. She saw I was willing to do it, started packing my bag and all that jazz and immediately caved in. There was no more talk about me leaving her place.

I don't know the answer to your question. Maybe she won't give you shit about not working. Maybe she will? I'm simply saying that if you do decide to step into the darkness of the unknown, at least bring a flashlight that allows you come back.

edwardhwhite · 2015-05-22T22:04:05+00:00

Treat the writing like a job and show it to the wife. 9-5, 5 days a week.

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