Waiting 3+ dates?

AFPJ · 2015-05-08T16:16:17+00:00

TL;DR after a while you know who's a slut and who isn't, can't explain it - it's just there.

invest my time into finding one high quality girl

This is called chasing a unicorn and doesn't work because they don't exist.

can't see myself being in a LTR with a girl that's down with casual sex or has a high n count

It's very likely that every girl you've dated pretended to be the prude princess you wanted her to be.

if a girl fucks me before the third date

Just because you fuck a woman and make her yours soon after seeing her doesn't mean much.

issue is whether she gave others more for less. You can really never be sure.

This is it right here. No point in even thinking of believing whatever it is a woman claims about herself & her past.

So where does that leaves us? After a while, you just know. It's the little things even women can't deceive you on:

How insecure/paranoid she is = the amount of baggage she carries
How little sex bonds her to you = how many cocks have been inside her
How willing she is to follow & please you = her view of your relative SMV
How much she wants your dick = again, her view of your relative SMV

There's no one approach fits all protocol for women & relationships or we'd have figured it out by now.

TRP is as close as it gets & its just a vague set of trends / guidelines - interpreting which, with context, is up to you.

When you fuck a girl on the first date, don't judge her for it - that's retarded. Is she MORE LIKELY to have done that with other guys? Sure is. But maybe she just liked you or you made a really good impression or something stupid like that. Two of my multi-year LTRs started with a first date smash, one of which I broke her hymen (lol) & the other got really clingy right after sex which inevitably betrayed her abysmally low N count. You can always recognize the way a slut behaves because her soul is broken; literally. They're just ...hollow. Every dick to pass through a woman nudges her from an eager, pleasant/feminine disposition closer to a hollow husk of insecurity, excessive shit tests & drama.

In the end, remember that most girls who make you wait likely fucked someone on the first date and if they didn't, the reason for that would be a man with a high enough SMV and good enough game never even noticed their existence.

Generalizations such as "waiting x+ dates" will always do more harm than good.

balalasaurus · 2015-05-08T15:45:40+00:00

All girls have the potential to be sluts in the bedroom. It's up to you to bring it out of them.

At the end of the day do what works for you. You don't have to spin plates if that doesn't fulfill you. But keep in mind that AWALT on a basic level.

The good news is that you know what to look out for (history, social circle, present behavior) so keep at it.

toss_me_awazer · 2015-05-08T17:07:20+00:00

Every girl has fucked on date 1-3, or has the capacity to, or at a minimum knows of the unwritten 3 date rule. Do you really want to be the guy who waits? And yes, if you're waiting 3 months to fuck a chick (which is lunacy unless she's like an ~18 year old virgin), then she's trying to lock you down.

Personally, I draw the line at whether she fucks ME on the first date (meaning the first time you meet, not an acquaintance you just got around to going out with romantically). While they all have the capacity to fuck on date one, I'd rather not date a chick who does that regularly. While the 3 date rule may be understood, even most women would agree that first date fucking is a bit slutty. I do however TRY to get as far as possible as fast as possible.

Goldfulgore · 2015-05-08T17:32:39+00:00

I agree with u/AFPJ. Why do you think that the more dates the less promiscuous she is? There is no such rule. That's some blue pill mentality society has made you believe.

Too early could mean she is a super slut or not. Too late means only one thing, that she is not sexualy attracted to you and is looking for a BB.

It's easier to convert a plate to LTR than forcing an LTR right off the bat.

I also see your intentions of wanting an LTR wrong. I get the impression that you are prioritising finding a low n-count woman in your life. If you base your happiness on women you are bound to fail in life.

I know that you are focusing on your needs but you are worrying about things that are out of your control. You can't control a woman's actions no matter how much you want to. You are only in control of yourself in life and unless you make yourself a priority in life you will never be happy.

Stop worrying about stupid shit. If it happens and she cheats on you, "shit happens".

Sepean · 2015-05-08T19:06:19+00:00

I can't see myself being in a LTR with a girl that's down with casual sex or has a high n count though. And if a girl fucks me before the third date and swears up and down that I'm her second it's not very believable.

If done right you can have a low n-count girl that fucks you silly. Thoughts?

It's stupid.

If she's not fucking you early, either she sees you as beta or she has low libido, either of which sucks.

And if she hasn't fucked a lot of men, it is like because she either isn't pretty or she has low libido.

Come to terms with AWALT and accept that pretty girls with normal libido fuck alphas. Steer clear of party girls and alpha widows, but I for sure wouldn't trade either pretty or normal libido just to get someone with a low partner count.

rlh1271 · 2015-05-08T15:55:51+00:00

My current LTR waited for about 8 dates to give it up & she's been with 3 guys including myself. If she made me wait much longer than that I might've bounced (for the exact same reasons you're juggling) I don't really know that there's an end all be all answer here. It's natural to want sex with the lowest amount of investment on your end, but no you don't want a sloot. I would just make sure that it's progressing well. My LTR wouldn't fuck me the first couple of dates, but I still had her in her bra and panties giving me a back massage the 3rd or 4th one. Push boundaries. Women can tell you no, and still call you back to schedule another date. They're not like men in that regard.

throw_em_all · 2015-05-08T17:16:24+00:00

Just date everything you find attractive and next them if they don't match your criteria, however the low n count thing doesn't make any sense, you're chasing the unicorn, the female version of "the prince charming".

thenarrrowpath · 2015-05-08T18:23:09+00:00

If done right you can have a low n-count girl that fucks you silly.

Absolutely, but don't get to worked up over perfection, women are human too. You need to set your standards, one being a low N count, and go from there.

Though you should still plate girls, but only from the beginning. If you put to much focus on to one then you know what's going to happen. Plate a few girls and see how things go. Everything about each of your plates will arise over time and you will keep or drop as needed. Eventually you'll have one plate that will stick it out and if it feels right and she's met your reasonable standards then promise exclusivity and move on from there. Don't make the mistake of going back to the whole one at a time deal. Keep that abundance mentality and slowly fall into exclusivity.

coldchrome · 2015-05-08T20:11:39+00:00

I did this exact thing with my current girlfriend.

intelcorei5 · 2015-05-09T07:40:49+00:00

She doesn't have to be "down with casual sex". She just has to be down with sex with you. It's your responsibility to yourself to be as attractive and irresistible as possible. If, despite the pinnacle of your game, she resists, then you've found a woman worthy of you.

But you have to bring the pinnacle of your game, or you're just another orbiter.

Glenbert · 2015-05-09T11:03:57+00:00

if you want it, you should be getting some action whenever you want. You don't have to fuck her, but you should get something. Get over this fantasy that there are girls who "don't like" causal sex.

Hell, most of my ONSs have been with supposed good girls who "don't do that sort of thing." If you're the guy who she can make wait, well then you're already setting yourself up as beta. You can't run a successful LTR when you start from this position.

Embrace her inner slut.

abdada · 2015-05-08T15:46:15+00:00

I always have an LTR, always. In the past I've always had backups (female orbiters) or plates, always.

I also always wait 3 dates for sex. I don't let them deny me sex, I just don't head for a 3rd date unless she's showing me massive signs of sexual desire on date #2 (and date #1 to a point).

Sex is easy. Avoiding crazy means being patient.

Title	Waiting 3+ dates?
Author	capias37
Upvotes	5
Comments	31
Date	May 8, 2015 3:40 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/35atyo/waiting_3_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/waiting-3-dates.148761 https://theredarchive.com/post/148761

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