what's wrong with being nice?

wawakaka · 2019-09-20T02:41:19+00:00

nothing is free. you say you want to do things for people and you want nothing from it but you are getting something from it...IT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD.

so the payment you get from being nice is that it makes YOUR FEEL GOOD. so in reality you are selfish because if being nice didn't make you feel good you would not be nice.

so when you do things for people you get a huge burst of OXYTOCIN in your brain. this makes you feel good. so this is the real reason you want and like being a nice guy. bascially being nice gets you HIGH.

now the problem with people like you is that you don't live in the real world. you are into IDEALISM, the whole KUMBAYA, everybody nice, everybody freinds, everybody love one another

but the real world doens't work that way, nature doesn't work that way, you don't even work that way because you are only concerned with your own selfish happiness.

in the real world people like you are taken advantage of.

Kabuki431 · 2019-09-20T01:47:00+00:00

Let me rephrase your question for you.

Whats wrong with being a doormat?

beefthathasredmiddle · 2019-09-20T04:51:49+00:00

Nothing is wrong with being nice, as long as you aren’t expecting anything from it.

new__vision · 2019-09-20T02:06:41+00:00

Nothing is wrong with being nice for the right reasons, and being a dick doesn't attract quality women. Don't confuse being a dick with being playfully dominant and offering challenges, aka "teasing".

The men who get high-quality women are often "nice" and gregarious. But they are also high status and give masculine leadership and good emotions to those around them. Think of high SMV men like Leo Decaprio and George Clooney, and also that guy you know who is always surrounded with hot women. None of them are "dicks".

If you go out and meet lots of women, you learn that trying to look tough and angry all the time doesn't attract quality women, but neither does placating them like a "nice guy". The high-status man creates his own reality that others want to be part of, has solid frame and charisma, and is fun to be around.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2019-09-20T03:29:22+00:00

Nothing. But it will hurt your chances of getting pussy.

FereallyRed · 2019-09-20T02:11:49+00:00

External validation

VisiblePlan · 2019-09-20T02:46:21+00:00

Niceness isn't niceness. It's being nice for something in return. U are nice because u get approval from the person you do the task for. Not because you want to do the task. Life is about more than good feelings. If that was the case, we'd all be lazy, sacks of shit. Well, for some of you more than usual. Don't chase good feelings, chase power, and discipline. It's better for you in the long run.

intl_plyrs_clb · 2019-09-20T02:46:33+00:00

Nothing wrong with being nice because you want to. You just need to know your worth, and have self respect and not let people walk all over you.

ThrowsSharksAtBirds · 2019-09-20T08:28:04+00:00

You are not being nice or want to be nice because you care, but because you’re caretaking.

Your phrase “i feel good when helping” and enjoying “win win” points this out. External validation like it was mentioned by others. You are not being honest with yourself and others.

CarlosNeedsAHat · 2019-09-20T14:22:16+00:00

THIS IS WHAT I WOULD WANT OTHER PEOPLE TO DO TO ME.

Made this mistake with my first serious girlfriend. Did stuff for her to show her I was serious about the relationship. But I knew nothing about women; I assume they thought about this stuff the asme way I did. BZZZ! Wrong! All it did was kill her attraction. Turns out, men and women are different.

Don't treat other people they way YOU want to be treated, treat other people the way THEY want to be treated. And what most women want is for a strong man to take the lead.

Franek715 · 2019-09-20T20:26:33+00:00

"THIS IS WHAT I WANT OTHER PEOPLE TO DO TO ME"

Although I am by no means well experienced I am quite certain that this is what's fundamentally flawed in your outlook:

You should not expect anything in return for your favors. You give these favors because it is no big deal for you with the mindset that you generously give out scraps and the recipient even lacks those little useless bits. Those people don't owe you anything.

I am (more or less) quoting a since forgotten article: "Whatever you buy / do for a girl, you only have that moment and nothing more". All you did was only for one second of attention... - If it is not effortless than it is the shittiest invenstment of the century.

Snowboard18 · 2019-09-20T01:47:32+00:00

Because people will step all over you if you do everything they ask you to do

jbergbauer2008 · 2019-09-20T02:25:47+00:00

You’re not missing anything, you’ve just become self-aware and mature enough to outgrow TRP. congrats and good luck

Title	what's wrong with being nice?
Author	smartfunction30
Upvotes	2
Comments	18
Date	September 20, 2019 1:33 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/d6nqvh/whats_wrong_with_being_nice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/whats-wrong-with-being-nice.288600 https://theredarchive.com/post/288600

Comments