I've been raised and brainwashed ... a nice guy.

When my unicorn fairy tale was crushed. I learned about the game, swallowed the red pill and started seeing world as it really is. How is sexuality of masses manipulated, making them docile herd of hollow sheep. Nature itself is chaos and evil. Nice guy started falling apart... started to change... but his core is still there rooted deep down inside me, draggin me down, doubting me, making me care what others think. making me docile. Ecstasy showed me for a moment how it feels to be natural, to be myself, noone pulling the strings over me.

I see the right path now, and its really dark, merciless and evil ... just natural.

I had enough pointless pain, regret, shame and suffering. I dont want to be docile anymore, I dont want to be nice, I dont want to help people, care about people, it is all pointless, it is all weak,it is all beta, its not natural and it got me where I am.

Its time for change, time for becoming natural ... evil

I want to dominate, I want to be powerful, I want to evoke fear, to have control, to be free, to be confident...

I am willing to do what it takes or DIE trying

How do I kill what is left of the [nice guy] (https://media1.tenor.com/images/abd5a9a252afba6875fbfdf9831bac66/tenor.gif?itemid=3416938) ? Where is the devil, when you need him...

post was not worthy of submission per mod at this point, let me elaborate then...

I feel the evil is trying to take me over ... I submit. It just cant push through, he won't let go.

I wouldn't phrase it better:

"Who I am and who I wanna be can not connect"

I want that animal inside to take over. When she opens the main door and is about to go take shower in that black silk robe, I want to press her against that wall and make out with her. Mind off ... just animal lust, like on ecstasy ... Its inside me, it wants to come out, but I just stand there... like my arms are chained and lips sewed, screaming and dying inside. Slave to my mind, I just want to break free. When going back home I carry so much pain, hatred, anger and resentment. My mind just turns very violent and dark and its getting much worse recently...

I see those guys in porn so naturaly, giving zero fucks, fucking like animal so gorgeous, cute and sweet girls which are even so thankful and joyful. It just breaks me to pieces. On one side the nice guy is still shattered how such sweet girl, gives out herself and submits completely just like that to guy she sees for the first time and let him do whatever he wants with her, while she is so joyful and happy about it, enjoying herself so much. On the other side how free the man can be from his mind, without any substance use. I want to be free like that, so I ask again ...

How do I kill what is left of the nice guy ?

I am willing to do what it takes or DIE trying...

Where is the devil, when you need him...