Would losing weight make a difference? What would you do?

supersonicsaga · 2018-06-20T15:05:14+00:00

You get better results with cold approaches and Day game.

Kabuki431 · 2018-06-20T18:08:21+00:00

Focus on doing it for yourself. How you see yourself. Not for validation from chicks.

Right now you sounds like you see yourself as not good enough.

bob13bob · 2018-06-20T18:50:31+00:00

You look good enough. I assume you are an engineer. Cold approach, sign up for dancing classes, whatever. Confidence is more important than looks.

If I were you, I would consider the 15k to trmove the loose skin if they can, I don't know enough about it though. That should be nothing to you as an engineer.

Don't settle, you are attractive now and it will take time for your confidence to catch up.

Two_kids_in_a_coat · 2018-06-20T20:09:15+00:00

First off great job! That’s some impressive work you put in.

I’m gonna be straight, I think you’re aiming too high. I guarantee you can get with women now, but probably not 8-9 look for 6-7’s. You probably need to get your feet wet. Years of rejection fucks with your mind. Go ahead and game some 6’s. Take them back and fuck the shit out of them, it will give you the confidence To go for 7’s. To get higher you’re gonna need serious game, frame, and confidence which will happen with practice but your hanging skin is gonna be a mental block you’ll need to overcome.

If you push yourself to talk to girls with the same intensity you pushed yourself to lose weight you’re gonna do just fine.

sporker8791 · 2018-06-20T17:57:41+00:00

Mate, first thing I have to say is congratulations - you have achieved a literally INCREDIBLE physical transformation. As someone who has fought with his weight all my life, I can say I am equal parts envious and pleased that you have managed it.

I honestly don't think there is a problem with your size/shape. You look amazing imo. And I know loose skin is a bitch, but at the intro stage that won't matter. It might be worth looking into some online dating 'photo guides' on here - there is a real art to taking and choosing photos that work for online dating.

Next thing, and purely for my own self-interest - how did you get from you 'before' picture to the end of your cut? I look similar in size and shape to your 'before' picture, and while I have lost about 30lbs I am really struggling with plateaus.

Again, well done mate, honestly I think you have worked a miracle on yourself. Whatever the missing ingredient is, I hope you find it soon.

TheStumblingWolf · 2018-06-20T20:08:48+00:00

When you hunt online your SMV takes a hit of -1 or -2 depending on you and how good your pictures are. Don't use it as the primary method of getting girls.

wifeisbiorgay · 2018-06-20T22:57:02+00:00

First off, it can't be said enough times--congrats man. You've really pulled off an amazing transformation! You definitely look good enough to get laid by attractive women if your personality is good and you're confident.

I have a somewhat similar story and I feel I can relate. I was about 250 lbs at age 15. I was like you were, storing fat more in my torso than in my arms/legs. Over the next year, I lost about 100 lbs, basically from starving myself and cardio. I was also still growing in height at that time. By age 17, I was about 150 lbs and 6'1" tall. I was very skinny and also had some loose skin. At that point I started lifting, but I was very afraid of getting 'fat' and basically didn't eat enough to gain much muscle beyond noob gains.

After lifting for a year or so, I started getting physically intimate with women for the first time in my life. There were makeouts, fondling, etc. and finally sex (with an HB5). Then I banged an HB6. Then, out of nowhere, I had sex with an HB8 that I had been orbiting for several years. I thought she was way out of my league. I think you are probably a lot like me in that, no matter how good you look, in your head you are always the fat kid. That's the result of going through your formative years overweight. I don't know if you can completely shake that.

I got into an LTR with that HB8 and then married her two years later, when we were both 21. I honestly believed I would never get with a more attractive women and moved quickly to lock her up. This had a lot to do with my body dysmorphia. Obviously, that was a very stupid decision at the time, but I got lucky. I've had a pretty great marriage. Over the years I started working out less and gaining weight. I got to about 215. I didn't look nearly as bad as I did as a teen, but certainly I'd fallen out of shape. I got complacent, thinking I was going to be sleeping with the same woman anyways. She has stayed in incredible shape.

A few years ago (around age 30), I started to have a ton of success in my career and that positive energy overflowed to other areas of my life. I started getting in shape again. My wife started to identify as bisexual and said she needed freedom to explore with women or she was out. I acquiesced. We've had an open marriage for the past 1.5 years. My wife was only the third women I'd slept with (her count was only or 4 or 5). I've slept with more than twenty women since opening up including a few threesomes with my wife. Although she was free to sleep with men, she has not chosen to sleep with any man other than me. Sadly, my wife lost interest in men after experiencing a lesbian LTR and we are now on our way to divorce. We're still best friends, I don't blame her for becoming gay.

My experience over the last couple years has certainly helped with my dysmorphia. My wife was basically my dating coach. She was able to help me a ton because she is a hot women that knows me incredibly well and genuinely wanted me to be successful with women. I got into the best shape of my life. I'm now 33 / 6'1" / 185 lbs / 10% bodyfat. My wife would compliment me, she would tell me about her (straight) girlfriends drooling over me. My other FWBs and girlfriends would compliment me. Still, inside, I was still the fat kid. That has never gone away entirely.

My wife would point out certain things to me. For example, if I saw my reflection in a window, I would tend to stare at it just a little too long. My body language would often be about covering flaws or wondering if I looked OK rather than just being relaxed and confident. I was always a cocky, funny, happy guy. Getting over the dysmorphia was my #1 challenge in improving my results with women.

TRP tends to emphasize how guys look more than other sexual strategies like PUA. I think they're somewhat right, but they tend to overstate things a bit. Yes, looks are very important, but a lot of guys project their own attractions onto women. Women are not as visually stimulated as men so game/frame/whatever plays a much bigger role for them. When I was a fat kid, I never got women. Since then, I've been leaner and less lean, more and less muscular, and it hasn't mattered that much.

You look good. I think you need to stop searching for that next piece of your transformation that will finally set things right. Let go of that inner fat kid.

With that in mind, yes, I think you'd look better if you cut down a bit. You'll lose some muscle and your skin will sag a bit more, but you'll look better overall. Better, not perfect. Let go of perfect, it doesn't exist and it isn't what is holding you back with women. You'll look much better than you did two years ago because you'll still be more muscular and your skin has tightened some. It takes years for your skin to reach its tightest after massive weight loss.

By dressing properly, the loose skin won't affect your appearance much while clothed. The fat does. Usually, when you get to the point with women where your tops are off, you are getting laid one way or the other. At that point, being confident and good in bed will be the key to getting a second invitation. How often do you really need to pull from the beach?

I've not had surgery for my remaining loose skin, but I don't have quite as much as you. I've got like a 4-6 pack in the right light when I'm a bit dehydrated or have a pump. I do think about getting surgery, but like you, I worry that I'd be unhappy with the scars. One thing to keep in mind is they can do the incision below the belt, so you won't see it in a bathing suit. Naked you'll still be trading the loose skin for the scars, but you could argue it's better overall. If you are thinking about it, I'd suggest going to a surgeon that is well-recommended for a consultation. The key is finding someone you have good reasons to trust (reputation) that will be able to give you a good idea of what to expect for your specific case. I think you are a bit like me in that, yes, you have some loose skin, but it's not excessive. You see some guys with so much hanging off them that a scar is definitely preferable. Try to just let go of that ideal of a perfect 8 pack or whatever. There will always be a guy that is more shredded than you. It shouldn't stand in the way of your getting with women.

nebder · 2018-06-21T01:58:14+00:00

First off hope this account is a total throwaway. You need to use an account scrubber plug-in that overwrites your reddit comments then delete the account. Never post face shots on reddit let alone a TRP linked sub It’s only a matter of time till you get doxxed. If I cared I’m sure a few reverse image searches would tell me exactly who you are.

You’re too fat in your last picture. Lose weight. Your facial aesthetics were much better when you were leaner. You’re not gonna lose much if any muscle mass. You’ll lose fat padding over your muscles that artificially make them look bigger. I’d rather be lean and veiny armed in a small shirt vs filling out sleeves of a medium with fat and muscle. Woman respond much better to lean me vs powerlifter build me, which is the lifter’s hamster way of saying ugh I’m not fat I totally lift brah look at my muscles.

I’m 5-9,5-10 so right in there as average height. I started at 240 Jan 2017 dropped to 175 last summer went back to almost 200 dirty bulking over the winter to 165 now. I lifted the majority of that time so I’ve got a year+ under the iron. I’m no Arnie but I’m top 10% easy in every venue beside the gym.

I have stretch marks and loose skin where my belly used to be. You can see my upper 2 pack in a tight shirt. Fuck it im not perfect but I’m still sexy and top 5-10% for my age group and top 20% overall.

My experience is online dating is not worth much effort unless you can literally message 70+ gals when you’re ready to do a blast. I live in a smallish market and the response rate is so abysmal that it’s not worth any effort beyond swiping when I shit or when I get drunk and bored. I don’t see new faces just the same old accounts when I get on POF these days.

I went to DC for 3-4 days recently and swiped a few times to get my profile out there. I got more likes (10+ per day, half were actually sexy gals vs loser hambeasts) my time in dc than over a year in my smallish market. If you don’t have the numbers available to play a numbers game then its just not worth it.

I’m killing it in night game and doing ok in my “day” game which boils down to talking to strangers and pushing for a number close when I feel it. Men can project their presence in the real. You cannot project the same type of presence in a few pics and a witty bio. Online dating is a woman’s game first and foremost. I can easily beat women at their game in person so I spend my time there.

Anecdote time. There was a local chick cute enough to message. She didn’t respond. Ran into her a few weeks later in a bar. Got the total eyefuck come talk to me from her every time she passed me to the bathroom. She clearly played up her pics by 1-2 points and I wasn’t interested when I saw her in person. Got eyefucked again next time I saw her at a different bar, still no interest from me. Maybe she recognized me maybe she didn’t. All I know is that it went from total disregard online to eyefucked in person. There’s your takeaway.

EDIT: Where I really make my killing is in my favorite watering holes for night game. I’ve befriended the bartenders and regulars and am known as a fun loving play boy who does crazy fun shit because I love doing crazy fun shit that have earned me accusations of mid life crisis and other silly fuckery as I am in my late 30s. I’ve fucked one of the bartenders casually for a while now. She wings for me and sets me up with some of the sexy gals in the establishment. It’s not really night game it’s long term social game.

Become a big fish in a little pond and see your success rate soar. It’s not just looks, it’s the whole package. I shoot the shit with everyone, karaoke on occasion, am friendly with the regulars and well everyone I see worth chatting up. I have fun, most people have fun around me except the haters I’ve earned. Fuck those guys.

redpillrobert · 2018-06-20T15:28:05+00:00

Basically what I'm trying to figure out, is if I drop bodyfat again would it do me any good?

i can't tell if this is a serious question

JAK11501 · 2018-06-20T18:57:12+00:00

If I was you, I’d fast down to the point that makes me feel best and look into non-surgical skin tightening treatments. Also dry fasting to tighten skin.

ValorElite · 2018-06-21T00:47:51+00:00

Stop correlating your weight loss results to the amounts of whores that swipe right on your profile.

Get out of the house.

thesmithofwords · 2018-06-21T01:08:34+00:00

Get the skin removed bro, you will thank me later.

actualimprovement · 2018-06-21T08:07:31+00:00

My guess is your pictures on Apps are shit because they do like 90% of the deal.

nebder · 2018-06-22T13:02:36+00:00

You’ve done a lot of shit getting your life together. No one is discounting that.

That interaction was just a girl that wasn’t into you. It happens all the time. It was pretty boring to read frankly. I’d nope out of that convo in her shoes.

Maybe you won’t be super alpha banging left and right. You can look up sadomasochrist post on high betas. Basically date till it comes time to commit then decide if you ghost or invest. There’s more to it and worth checking out.

3-4s May be a low starting point. I get that. Start with an average 5 or a girl that’s just a bit chubby like 20lbs overweight. You didn’t start pulling 4 plates right. You worked your way up. Same concept applies. You get some positive feedback then build on that. Plus if you go down 2-3 points on the scale you can get the gal who worships you. That’s a great feeling.

What I can tell you is that you’re frustrated but continue doing the same thing from my perspective. It’s time for a strategy change if what you were doing isn’t giving you results that you want.

Title	Would losing weight make a difference? What would you do?
Author	Curiouscats86
Upvotes	12
Comments	45
Date	June 20, 2018 2:56 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8siy9f/would_losing_weight_make_a_difference_what_would/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/would-losing-weight-make-a-difference-what-would.100551 https://theredarchive.com/post/100551

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