Ask BaM

cantcme13 · 2014-02-27T21:45:19+00:00

Okay here we go; my current goal (one of) is to be race ready to run Tough Mudder Ireland in October. I'm currently around 20-30% body fat, weigh 87 kilograms and am 176 centimetres tall. My goal is to drop under 20% body fat and ramp up my gains to reach 100 kilograms of pure muscle gain.

What is the best way to go about achieving this and are there any tricks or methods that you know of that will enhance my current method?

I'm grateful for any suggestions, constructive criticisms and tips you can share.

N.B. My current program is a three day split; i.e. Day 1 is chest and arms, Day 2 is leg day and Day 3 is back and shoulders (I finish all sessions with core work). I train back to back Monday to Friday then rest Saturday and Sunday. Diet is a modified version of The Liver Cleanse Diet but have heard a lot on TRP about Paleo/Keto? Wondering if I might benefit more from switching nutrition plans?

cantcme13 · 2014-02-27T19:28:47+00:00

I see men such as, at least more recently, President Obama and George Bush mentioned in regard to their incredible speaking skills. When they talk one-on-one with someone, that person feels amazing, like they're part of some super secret club. They inspire respect and incredible amounts of camaraderie in just a short span of time of talking to someone.

How can I learn this skill? I know it boils down to Charisma (Warmth, Power, and Presence), and interest in the other person, but I don't know how to be the most charismatic man possible.

TooMuchToDoo · 2014-02-28T02:25:58+00:00

Sometimes I feel that not all my eggs are in one basket, so to speak. I'm extremely involved at college and often I find myself forgetting things that I needed to get done. Given, I already have a task sheet for school assignments, other projects, etc. I'm talking about the little stuff like remembering to call my dad or meet my friend for lunch or putting my water bottle in my backpack before class. Any suggestions?

averagepidgin · 2014-02-28T02:45:16+00:00

For some time now, I've been at the point where I constantly feel like I'm on the verge of some huge change. Like a huge profound change within myself that will ultimately cause a huge change in my life. But every time I get close to it, I disappoint myself. I fold. I cave under pressure. I know I have what it takes. People see it in me. I have the intellect and the charm and its at the point where the reaction that I read on people is that of them just wanting to shake me violently and say "snap out of it already". Its like this extreme modesty that has this attitude of, "I can do that AND do it better". It's like this passive aggressive arrogance. Like a toned down badassness that's just hidden way underneath but is masked by this extreme modesty/extremely formal intellectual proper polite/politically correct/apathetic type character. There's no real realness to me. I feel fake... others I sense, pick up on it as well. There's a girl I work with who I feel semi hates me but whom I feel is also attracted to me... but the look I see on her when she looks at me is that of, "you're faking all this, I see right through you". I have a hard time just letting go. I dont think I have for some time now. Very self conscious and over think tremendously. I fear judgement deep down, being criticized. And whether I'm out in the light or hidden in the dark, metaphorically speaking, I know the judgement is taking place. I guess the criticism doesn't affect me so much now because there's a sense of calm and ease knowing "they" dont know the true me...but at the same time feeling shitty for not being true to my feelings, thoughts and desires. Been reading a lot lately about meditation, posts on here TRP, Eckhart Tolle, and ultimately getting down to seeing that the only person holding me down is me. That its all mental. That what I really need to practice is holding a mental frame as I've read. Which ultimately boiks down to building a reality for yourself, making it true, from the ground up. Its like having the knowledge of how to change ia not enough. Like Im somehow content with knowing how people work under the surface, but not actually taking the leap myself. Its like I'm NEO from The Matrix and Im on the verge of finding that big thing, but for some reason am afraid to take the plunge. And its too late now. There's no going back. I know too much. I feel I'm exactly on the path of becoming a man, but have no prior good examples of such, so I scare myself thinking people will hate this new guy. I thought to myself, its just a chemical imbalance, depressed and such. And currently taking a weight training class. I guess the question is... what the fuck is going on? Lol. I feel like im going through a deep change. Im getting fed up with all the bs around me. And I feel im gonna pop pretty soon. What do you recommend here after this 5 page essay?

Crusene · 2014-03-07T02:35:44+00:00

How do I train my emotions, so I don't give off a vibe of "you're taking stuff too personally dude".

Been getting comments like that all twenty-some years of my life.

I've posted this before but it didn't get very far. I'd like more input from others if possible.

Movonnow · 2014-03-26T12:34:57+00:00

How do I get over my ex-girlfriend?

She was the first one I had sex with.

She told me after the break up she never loved me.

I gave up EVERYTHING for her : hobbys, family, friends, passions, college, self dignity, self respect.

I miss her.

RollinRollout · 2014-04-07T10:53:34+00:00

Ok so, to start off I move out to MN I'm originally from the east coast I had a drug problem and relocated to start over. Been sober keepin healthy and I got a job a this store, I'm the only guy who works there and these girls are all my age 24.

So I basically just chose Lauren who seemed interested and we text for a bit but she would never fucken hangout with me. I fucken tried everything like movie dinner a fucken renaissance fair... Anyways no luck so I gave up and hungout with Emily my other coworker at her place and. Banged her friend out tabitha. We'll word got Around work already about how I'm sleeping with her now and talking about how I fuck and you know girls tell each other like fucken everything.

We'll I go into work for a shift change and Lauren is now wearing makeup and didn't before. And she yells to her bestfriend Kayla who works in the deli saying I'm so excited for Cody to comeup. I ignore it completely because I'm getting ass somewhere else.

Well when she leaves her shift Kayla comes over to me and is saying that she knows I slept with someone but doesn't know who and says she hasn't said anything all day about Cody until I got there and tells me she acts different around me.

So need a little advice, I am still seeing tabitha having that consistent booty and she works doesn't burn a hole in my pocket and is easy to keep us unofficial we're still in the we're just hanging out phase and fucking.

So is there anyway to get both girls balance this out, how can this be accomplished or is it a disaster waiting to happen? I work with Kayla Lauren and Emily, Emily is friends with Kayla and tabitha and Lauren is just friends with Kayla, and on a side note Kayla is leaving her bf and looks at me like she wants the D.

Can I get all of them? What's my move what's the most I can get out of this situation? Without losing my status?

reubenseph · 2014-02-27T20:24:04+00:00

I find that leaving my bacon-wrapped chicken breast strips in the oven for only ten minutes in preheated 400F, cooks it well and keeps it nice and juicy too. Most websites I have seen recommend at least twenty minutes, however. I have not gotten sick from doing so, yet.

Am I living life dangerously?

zeus450 · 2014-02-27T23:50:47+00:00

How can I stop being so fucking lazy? It takes an act of congress for me to want to do anything (wash dishes, clean the house, cut the lawn). It kills me inside to know I'm such a lazy bastard.

arhombus · 2014-02-28T00:30:46+00:00

I have years of bad posture which I'm now trying to correct. Hunched forward rolled shoulders and I just tend to lead with my head and neck. How can I correct this?

Bucky_Goldstein · 2014-02-28T18:04:11+00:00

How do you find a good way to "reset" and continue going about your job after things aren't working out

The example I have is that my dad came over to help me insulate the attic in my house. it has an extremely low slope roof in it, with the max height at the peak is maybe 3 feet.

We start putting insulation in and I'm climbing around in the dark because we can't get lights to the end of the house where we are working, its stifling hot, the dust mask feels like its choking me, I've got sweat running in my eyes, and I'm starting to get clastrophobic. Normally, a combination of one or two of these things isn't a big deal, I'll recompose myself and carry on, but I started to get extremely frustrated and angry with the whole situation.

Eventually I have to get out of the attic and cool off for a bit, but my Dad crawls up where I was and just keeps working at it. I start giving him bundles of insulation to keep him going, but he just keeps working away, can't see shit, dust mask making it hard to breath and finishes off the job.

I did the hardest part of the job first, the parts furthest from the attic entrace, but if I had been by myself, I would have had to finish it up another day.

How does one "reset" and go back about a job like this? I kinda felt bad that my Dad showed me up so badly and just kept working through the crappy conditions.

Title	Ask BaM
Author	GaiusScaevolus
Upvotes	14
Comments	39
Date	February 27, 2014 6:32 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/becomeaman
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/becomeaman/comments/1z3tk6/ask_bam/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/becomeaman/ask-bam.137402 https://theredarchive.com/post/137402

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