~ archived since 2018 ~

How to handle toxic parents

August 5, 2022

I’m 24M, asian. Been living with my parents since I dropped out of a university since 2020. My parents & I came to the US as refugees for the sole purpose of a better life and most of all, education. So it broke their hearts when I dropped out and told them I’ll go back in a year or so.

Tonight I told them nope, I do not plan on finishing it as of right now. And they flipped out per usual. Calling me names, insults, verbal abuse, just stuff you wouldn’t say to a person, let alone your oldest son. But this is the norm since as long as I can remember. This is normal for a lot of Asian kids I believe. My original plan was to finish school but due to personal setbacks and mistakes I got kicked out(this they don’t know). Lately I’ve been reading a lot of books and I’m realizing the potential I always had to learn anything quick, so I plan on going back someday, but they’re not hearing any of it. Education is everything to these people. I told mom about my mental health issues I was going thru and she says “it don’t mater, just stop thinking about it”.. lol can you believe it.

Anyways I plan on moving out asap, I have a stable job, currently saving & build my coding skills. Any tips on how to navigate this situation would be extremely helpful!

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Post Information
Title How to handle toxic parents
Author i-reddit-ck
Upvotes 2
Comments 6
Date August 5, 2022 2:51 AM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit /r/newTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/newTRP/how-to-handle-toxic-parents.1126608
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/newTRP/comments/wgjxi8/how_to_handle_toxic_parents/

[–]gd_101 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why did you get kicked out?

This is material to the story. They might not be toxic. You might be a dickhead.

Trp does say study hard, work hard, lift heavy. Focus on improving yourself and advancing your position. Don’t get distracted from your core purpose by women.

The key either way is to move out. Then they’re powerless with you. It’s worth keeping frame and being polite as much as possible.

[–]319Skew -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"mental health"

I'm hearing more people use this as an out from adversity.

Depression is a thing and there are legitimate trauma but you'd think that everyone is afflicted with some mental issue that requires constant medical attention from talking to people.

Universities are not the end all so getting kicked out may not be a bad thing but you're right there could be a key detail OP left out.

It could be OP is lazy and failed.

[–]ChadCyrus 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bro you're 24 living with your parents. Getting kicked out of your parents place would be the best gift you'd received all year.

Your plan now: STFU to your parents, work, lift, make an exit strategy ASAP, make some friends.

[–]badboyyy112 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Dude I think the underlying issue is.... you want your parents love. I feel like you are yearning for it and they're just giving you shit. Cause logically you must know you're a dickhead. You're 24, living with parents and dropped out of university. They have every right to call you out on your shit.

Idk what to tell you man. They cannot respect and love you until you make something of yourselves. Funny thing the world is. Even your own parents get tired of you if you're a lazy nobody. It's a fucking jungle out there man.... anyways, work hard, study hard. Make something of yourselves...your parents will respect you. and so will the bitches when they see your confidence. Don't waste life is all I'd say

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY2002 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great comment.

[–]Sorcerezzz 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Walk away. No contact

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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