Well, I will try to sum this up as shortly as possible, but I am starting to feel like I am slipping off of the initial "high" of seduction (3 months in here). Firstly, though long, it would help to read the background of my first story. http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/n5yu7/fr_so_frustrated_here_is_how_to_avoid_it/ tl;dr. Girl from a class of mine came to hang out after I ignored her for 3 weeks. K closed but somewhat AFC, she had to go and the future was in the air. So starting about a week later, each week I would text this chick (call her NB9) using classic text game: highly suggestive, suggesting she come see a movie similar to one she loves. Each time in about an hour she replies with something enthusiastic, but vague (eg. that sounds like fun!!!!). Then each time, usually right around the appointment time or afterward she would text saying she had to work late (which seems semi legit, she has a late night/time intensive job).

By week two I know I need to drop this flaking regardless of its veracity. For some reason, I figure I have so few connections to NB I might as well keep pushing. She fails to reply to another appointment, so I used the line I read on here: "I didn't hear from you about XYZ plans, so I made other ones. Have a good break". From here I said fuck this, she will text me if she wants to do anything. Then, the night she got back into town - she did. Then she changes plans from that night to a couple days later. A few days go by, she texts me asking if we are still on. I called her fairly quickly and basically said in a firm, calm voice "So are you actually gonna be able to make it?" and she complies.

This time she actually shows up. I figured cool, I get us some drinks and we sit on the couch to converse for a while. It was really nice, because by this time I did not care. This girl needed to come to me. Here was an excellent chance to practice good conversation. I used open ended questions, made long eye contact, and let 5 second silences pass without any awkwardness. Introduced her to my roommate and his sister, then tell her we need to go watch the aformentioned movie.

We actually watch damn near the whole movie. Up to now I have been mildly kinoing her, but not much at all. Banter ensues the whole time, it was nice. About midway through, I go from very laid back to using her necklace as a prop to tease her. I grab it and pull her in for a quick kiss, then break it off suddenly and get my beer with a wicked smile. Wait for 15 minutes, then repeat without even kissing her. She was very into it and I could tell she was getting frustrated in a good way (she was smiling a shitload). I use this to escalate, slowly moving a bit further AND teasing her at the same time.

I switch the movie to another, which we both have no intention of watching. Used slow escalation and tease all the way into the F close. Funny thing was, I was not even planning on this. I was not really sure where it was going, and did not set out initially for the F close. Now this is where oneitis starts to set in, and I know it is from minute 1. She starts saying she needs to go because she has an appointment in the morning, I tease her some more and she ends up offering to stay the night. I actually prefer this more, we cuddle and go to sleep.

The next morning, she finally wakes up and we banter and relax. I start teasing her some more. She was constantly telling me to stop, but smiling a LOT and being all flirty. This ends up leading to the best sex of my life. This was the first time I really noticed subtle nuances in body language and deeper levels of flirting, which told me everything was good. Then I make breakfast, and she mentions this appointment again but makes no effort to leave for it. At some point I ask if it will take another 3 weeks to see her, and her immediate response is "Oh no! I am free all next week." This seemed to me like qualification. Ends up staying right up to, and I thought past her appointment.

So now I have a predicament. I am not really looking for SNLs a lot here. I want to expand my social network, look for a good LTR, and generally become more attractive to those around me.
I am stuck on this girl bad. I'll not spew this and that and just say, similar life outlooks/roots, amazing physical attraction, and she has an extremely rare trait (especially considering how attractive she is) that I find incredibly attractive: an interest in firearms.

My issue is, usually with oneitis, I feel somehow obligated to the other person. Now, I don't. I am entirely lacking ambition to sarge. I feel like I am in a post sex fugue of validation and laziness, which pisses me off. At the same time, I think there is something of value here that I have no intention of disregarding.

Then we move onto New Years. I am invited out by my friend J (cute HB8), who says a couple of her friends and one of my school's entire women's sports teams is going out together. I'm thinking massive social proof/preselection, this will be cake. I get off work, throw on a suit with a new purple shirt (only mention because I felt EXTREMELY self confident purely based on how I looked), and head over to the house pre-party.

Turns out it is my friend J, her brother, and 4 of J's friend. One is obnoxious and annoying, two are a couple that kind of keep to themselves, and I did not know the other girl (HB6). I feel my mood start to drop immediately and annoyances set in. I have a drink and wait for HB annoying to get a cab ride set up. Takes forever, so it is later than expected.

We arrive at the bar, looks like it will be decent and we are still early (9PM). Grabbed a booth and get settled in. An hour passes, things start to fill up - but most of the girls are not attractive.

I open an HB8 to take a picture of us, thank her. About 15 minutes later, I re-open her and banter for a bit. Decent conversation was had, but she seemed incredibly un-invested and melancholy so I ejected about 10 minutes in. She stayed that way for another 3 hours, then lightened up. After that, I could not get out and approach. I was even getting eye contact/obvious bantering about me from two girls in the next booth, but did not go open it. What was even stranger, one of the girls continued to give me very prolonged eye contact, but I discovered the guy that was hanging with them was her boyfriend. They make out, walk around a bit, but she was looking at me for a large majority of the time.

As the night goes on, I am getting more offput by HBannoying, lower in state, and lacking external validation (which I know is an issue with myself). Then I remember how much I really dislike actual New Years. From here on out I slip into my cynical old self. Night finishes. Bar never got super packed, and not as many cute girls as are usually present.

Sorry that is about a book and a half, just needed to get it out. -So what is Seddit's take on oneitis if looking for an LTR and there are genuine qualities there?

-I realized last night I am incredibly external validation dependent and much prefer to be approached by women. I also know this is an issue and lazy on my part. Any suggestions on getting past this besides just going out more often and opening more?

-I think a lack of confidence is also causing me to fail to have decent conversation in cold opens. I am very used to conversation when approached, but that is because I know there is some investment. Is a good way around this to just push the conversation until you are kicked out of the set?

-Does anyone else here have unreasonably high standards? I will mentally say a girl is just not cute enough as an excuse to open them.

It is now apparent that I still have a ways to go, especially in regards to inner validation and confidence. Any advice or criticism is welcomed. Thank you to anyone who read this far, I know it is long.