A friend lost in oneitis

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-06-01T22:15:50+00:00

Nothing you can really do about it. You can't control your friends, or really even have much impact on what direction they're headed. Stay out of it.

funkyjames · 2012-06-01T18:37:28+00:00

tell him to grow a pair and move on. handling this delicately wont solve anything. you need to be firm with him and get him back on his feet. i was very antisocial in high school and i regret not having the courage to hit on all the horny, easy girls. dont let him miss out!

psyocal · 2012-06-01T19:50:30+00:00

You guys sound young, early 20’s perhaps? Best way to deal with this is to go big or go home. He is probably thinking that this is the girl of his dreams. And he probably has all these fantasies that have overlooked sex. The truth is, if your buddy was a scumbag who would just fuck this girl and move on, she’d be all over him. You should explain this concept to him.

If this girl is aware that your friend is “in love” with her, she won’t be attracted to the idea of a human doormat. Your friend is already starting with a handicap.

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Tell him to build up the courage and tell her the bold truth excluding the lovey-dovey bullshit. Ask your friend, “what would you do to this girl if you had her naked, in your bedroom, willing to do anything with you?”

If he answers with something like “I just want to hold her” then he’ll need to learn the hard way and get his heart broken. It won’t be pretty and he’ll be down for a few weeks but he’ll come out a better and more experienced person.

If he tells you something dirty and perverted like, “I wanna suck her pussy while she sucks my cock, I wanna pour honey on her tits while she rides me from the top…etc” that stuff might actually work. She has this fixed idea of your friend being a pussy. She knows he won’t be making any first moves because he is afraid of doing something ‘wrong’ which will result in losing her. He is not a ‘man’.

If he pulls off a vulgar line like that, she’ll immediately see him in a different light. He will have told her something that all the other guys were thinking but didn’t have the balls to say.

Your buddy doesn’t have to be as vulgar; he should say things in his own style. But at the same time he can’t be afraid to express his true desires. So an example conversation would be:

Hey, let me talk to you for a second – buddy

I gotta go to class blah blah excuse excuse can we do this another time (aka please don’t ask me out I am too nice to say no) – her

It’ll be quick, I promise – buddy

Ok – her

I think you’re beautiful and for the last month I couldn’t stop thinking about you… – buddy

… - her

…and all the things I’d wanna do to you. I wanna go down on you…while you go down on me. You have beautiful lips and I can only imagine how good they feel. I fantasized you on top…riding me while I lick your breasts. I wanna see you tonight. (everything is slow and seductive)

(Speechless with a slight smile forming) – her

She will start blushing, guaranteed. If she starts to hesitate, cut her off with:

You will have fun. I can promise you that. (Perverted smile)

She can walk away any time she wants. If she is lingering around while hesitating, your buddy is in.

She might call him a prick, a creep or whatever. But these ‘inappropriate’ things he told her will start to set in. She’ll think about them, she’ll eventually start to fantasize about them. Within a week she’ll talk to him again and she’ll see him in a new light…that is, unless she accepts his offer right then and there.

asad16 · 2012-06-01T19:23:03+00:00

I feel like you shouldn't do anything here. It's a lot different if he is asking for advice to pick up a girl, or places to take a girl on a date. This oneitis is driven by some insecurity within himself, and you can't really resolve this insecurity in him (there could be many reasons why he is so in infatuated with her). Anyways, my point is that sometimes people need to fail on their own so they can really feel the experience and learn from it. It wasn't until I started failing with women so consistently to understand what fundamentally was causing me to come off unattractive.

I can't say this experience will make him a new person, but it'll be an experience he will use to his advantage in the future. Think about why you are on seddit? Majority of people are here because of their experiences (whether it be with women, or social situations) causes them to reevaluate themselves. People naturally are searching for that harmony in their life, and in this case you can't just give him what he needs (lol maybe you can;) ). He will find his path on his own!

p4perclips · 2012-06-01T18:17:21+00:00

Take him out, introduce other girls to him, hang out less with her yourself for a bit, tell your friend that if she doesn't like his attention, she doesn't deserve it.

JBkits · 2012-06-01T18:17:25+00:00

lemme tell you the source of 1itis. He doesn't wanna fuck her. He wants to love her. He has affection for her, but not sexual attraction. If he had sexual attraction for her she would either reject it and he would move on, or he would make her attracted to him. Now he either tries to fuck her and she stops him, or he could just keep giving her affection and never do anything and be lost in it.

Title	A friend lost in oneitis
Author	JBkits
Upvotes	7
Comments	13
Date	June 1, 2012 5:03 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ufui3/a_friend_lost_in_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-friend-lost-in-oneitis.1333499 https://theredarchive.com/post/1333499

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