A question about the 3-second rule

MyThrowawaySeddit · 2012-12-30T03:20:52+00:00

"I wanted to say hi to you before I got too nervous to talk to you at all, but that's as far as I planned ahead. Shit."

Embrace the truth.

gruntmoney · 2012-12-30T01:50:08+00:00

You're getting tunnel vision. You're getting your courage together to push out of your bubble and make an opening, and that's all you're focusing on. Inside of that 3 seconds you have time to scan the environment and her for anything to talk about. No pressure, 3 seconds is all you need to pick up one detail that starts a conversation, and that one detail is probably the best one because it's the one your brain prioritized first. So don't see her, count to 3 and say "hi.....", see her within a space and start sharing that space with her.

imacarpet · 2012-12-30T22:03:10+00:00

Personally, I think the 3-second rule has limited value.

I think it's great for newbies getting started. It can help guys get over fear of approaching.

But after a while I think it's ok to drop it. I don't know how you know when you are at that point though.

Personally, I like size up the situation first: Is she really my type? What is going on with her group? I guess questions like that could turn the brains excuse generator, and that's why newbies should follow the 3-second rule.

Usually after saying "Hi" I ask her about herself. "Who are you?". After all, you are curious about her, right?

Talking about mind-blanks:

I haven't had mind-blanks for ages. When I did, the conversation went something like this:

I approached a girl who was with her friend. I approached one girl directly, told her I thought she was really beautiful, and that I wanted to meet her. Both of the girls kind of flushed and smiled

Nothing came to mind after that. So I just told the girls that I couldn't quiet think of anything to say, and asked them to help me out. They did.

Part of the reason that I don't get mind blanks so much anymore is that I followed a friend's advice. He told me to just say whatever was on my mind. "But what if there isn't anything on my mind?" "Well then just say that".

So I started doing exactly that: If there was nothing on my mind, I'd just say that. I might sometimes phrase it like this: "It's interesting you know. Talking to beautiful women can kind of scramble a guys brain. Like, right now I can't quiet think of what to say".

What I've found is that women will generally help you out. Maybe it's because women actually like talking to cool guys? Maybe women actually like being told that they are desireable?

(The caveat is that you should do this in a totally non-needy way. You should be speaking from your presence in the moment)

Thinking about it now, I can't actually think of a single time that this has gone badly.

Also, I think that there is a big advantage of doing things like this: it gets you into the habit of saying what's on your mind. This helped me out bigtime. I used to get really horribly stifled. I had AA so bad that I would totally freeze up before even approaching. But just being open and honest about whatever is going on for me helped me to totally get over my AA.

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-12-30T01:57:10+00:00

The whole idea of the 3 second rule is to stop you from overthinking the approach, or stalling to the point she notices you are steeling yourself up to approach her. You should probably have a few different openers ready. If your first opener flops, just do another opener. Nothing wrong with that.

Idontlikekarmawhores · 2012-12-30T01:19:58+00:00

What is the 3 second rule? Well if you are talking to a girl and your mind goes blank, i would recommend to have some topics prepared? and i dont know do it enough times so it becomes natural to you.

2012-12-30T04:15:18+00:00

The only way to keep this from happening is to do it over and over again.

Next time you get tunnel vision, just say some stream of consciousness shit. Be like "Zeppelin octopi my cheeseburger zebra fuckface tomato". What's the worst that can happen?

Saying nonsense and watching the reaction will teach you that it won't be that bad, and that in turn will ward off the tunnel vision because you won't be overthinking it as much as you will realize there are no consequences.

funkyboodah · 2012-12-30T08:32:38+00:00

I think the 3 second rule if BS. You can't approach ANY woman in ANY situation. That shit is just not possible. And if you think it is, it's kind of bad for you. You can feel when it is possible, and you can feel when it is probable. If there is a 3 second rule, it should be used in those instances - not in every case.

Freevoulous · 2012-12-30T13:49:58+00:00

When your brain goes blank, say anything. ANYTHING.

Once upon a time, I had very intense sexy times with this chick, and afterwards I pretty much collapsed on top of her, near unconcious from exhaustion. In a typical chick manner, she wanted to pillow talk after orgasm, and asked me some kind of important emotionally loaded question. My mind was still blown away from cumming, so the only thing that exited my mouth was...

"FISH!"

Thats all. No explanation, just a total non-sequitur. It was so hilarious, and nonsensical, that "FISH!" became my emergency opener, and answer to every question I don't want to/can't answer at the moment.

petriomelony · 2012-12-30T01:55:57+00:00

Ask her about her, and tell her about what you're doing at that place. The only thing you have in common at that particular moment in time is occupying approximately the same space, so you might as well talk a bit about it. That's why situational openers are powerful - it's something you actually share with the person.

MatchPUA · 2012-12-30T07:22:51+00:00

First off, eliminate the single "Hi" from your vocabulary.

The whole point of the 3 second rule is so that you don't over-think and freeze up.

It doesn't really matter what you say because you are only trying to get the conversation started.

Keep in mind that some routines were meant for overcoming this particular sticking point. But routines are just training wheels. After you get the idea of what you are doing you shouldn't need them anymore.

-colors · 2012-12-31T06:37:56+00:00

Ask her where the flapjacks are

kdelamont · 2012-12-31T15:29:35+00:00

Sometimes "Hi" is enough. After saying hi, or making some small comment on the surroundings, asking her how she is, et cetera, it is often better to just shut up than to try to fill every single silence all the time.

smo0rphy · 2012-12-30T03:07:50+00:00

Any time I draw a blank I look the girl up and down and comment on something she's wearing, usually by touching it. Bracelets are my go to item most of the time. If I draw a blank again I let myself bomb because I deserve it.

Title	A question about the 3-second rule
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	16
Date	December 30, 2012 12:56 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/15nemw/a_question_about_the_3second_rule/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-question-about-the-3-second-rule.1345063 https://theredarchive.com/post/1345063

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