Absolutely cannot get over my huge insecurities about height

IntermediatePUA · 2012-01-02T21:37:00+00:00

I'm 5'5 without shoes.

Yeah, some women won't give you the time of day. And that's ok. Focus your energy on the women that do.

The tallest women I've had naked fun with was 5'11.

blitzik · 2012-01-02T22:26:55+00:00

Dude, I'm like 2 inches shorter than you and I have 2 girlfriends. It's only a problem if you make it a problem. Strive to be awesome enough where your lack of height doesn't matter.

2012-01-03T02:56:36+00:00

I'm 5'2, I never get it when people complain that they are "short" when they are 5'6-5'7, to me that's a damn good height to be. But if you really feel that you're short, use it to your advantage. Sure, extra work has to be done, but just like anything else with seduction if you seem perfectly fine with who you are and have fun with it, they will too, and if they don't then they're shallow and can't get passed physical appearance to see who you are.

Best part of being short is when you take over a group, when you're the AMOG and everyone else is towering over you. Height is an extremely easy way to control a group, people naturally are drawn to those above them, physically, so when you can do that while you're essentially sitting down compared to them, it's a pretty powerful feeling.

Johnny_Thrust · 2012-01-03T01:50:46+00:00

Everyone can make excuses for why they can't get girls, but the bottom line is that you can make up for it in other aspects. You may be ugly, short, dumb, etc, but you can still get girls if you have game. Being an unattractive woman is a lot more unfortunate than being an ugly guy.

gforce289 · 2012-01-02T21:12:19+00:00

I'm 5'4". I had a girl tell me straight up that my height was the dealbreaker.

My height doesn't bother me like it did in the past, but it doesn't really help.

tapian · 2012-01-02T21:43:19+00:00

Same here (almost). I'm about 166cm, not very good looking and generally not masculine in appearance at all (weak chin, narrow shoulders etc.). The only way I can deal with it is to try my best at ignoring the issues I can't change and focusing on things that I can and want to improve, such as fitness, style, personality etc. and other aspects I like about myself (being intelligent, creative, funny, etc.).

But most of the time it's difficult to motivate myself when there's that nagging feeling that in the end it's all for nothing because the height will always a dealbreaker. Not that I think that this is the truth, at least not for all women. Indeed I once had a relationship with a girl I thought to be clearly out of my league, and if there is one woman who can be attracted to me there's enough reason to believe that there can be others. So that's where I draw my motivation from.

ConcordApes · 2012-01-02T20:57:54+00:00

I feels ya bro. I'm about 5'7.5 and it can be really tough to get over. Sometimes it doesn't bother me but other times, it can be really crushing. I don't really know how to deal with it earlier. I've never approached a girl taller than me. I don't know how it'd go.

Unholytrista · 2012-01-03T03:23:55+00:00

I actually prefer shorter guys. 5'6-ish. I'm 5'1. My two exs' were both 5'6. Perfect, perfect, height. <3

2012-01-03T03:50:34+00:00

Dude I'm 6'1" with a very stereotypically masculine appearance (face, big shoulders, muscle, etc.). And white. Got almost no girls until I got into pickup.

Why? Total inability to talk to anyone I didn't already know well, and no confidence around women. And often being a little heavy. I fixed all that and things are good now.

I also know a guy who is about 6'4", incredibly handsome, varsity college athlete. He also has a multimillion dollar trust fund. His gf is terribly ugly and he got few girls before that either. He just doesn't try.

I know yet another guy, 6'3" and very masculine looking, quite handsome. Gets barely any girls and seems to be in awe of what I do right in front of him. He has little confidence, trips over his words constantly, doesn't approach many girls, etc. Both these guys are white also (for those complaining about being Asian or whatever and how it makes it hard).

I don't doubt that being short makes it a little harder, but the other elements are so much more important.

titos334 · 2012-01-02T21:31:32+00:00

Well if it's any consolation being 6'1 has never landed me any girl

mileshigh_23 · 2012-01-02T21:58:25+00:00

Bullshit. Why is it that one of the most alpha, confident people at my high school (7 years ago) was also one of the shortest? Because he was able to reframe his thinking. You can do it too.

Edit: *I know it's not that simple. I have my own inner issues that constantly challenge me as well. We all do. Yes, height and attraction does have a correlation, but you can be an outlier if you have the right mindset.

2012-01-02T23:59:28+00:00

I just focus on women who are shorter than me. My last gf was 4'11"

We worked perfectly.

If a taller girl wants me I'll let her have it though. Has happened before but tall girl short guy couples just look so wrong to me.

jsba · 2012-01-03T00:15:53+00:00

I'm 5'6" and have this same problem. I usually only have success with short girls, even though I approach all kinds of girls. Even if a girl really likes me, she still has to "tolerate" my height like it's a disease

2012-01-04T00:42:20+00:00

sounds like a problem that height won't fix. you're a depressed person and girls don't like that. if it wasn't height, you'd find another excuse.

now i'm not trying to be a dick, but you can 'get over it' eventually, not by getting taller but by ignoring it.

some factors you cannot do anything about. i cannot do anything about my height, i cannot do anything about physical features that make me unattractive. i don't let them become a factor since there is nothing for me to do. you could get platform shoes of course.

Nolife4life · 2012-01-03T05:00:46+00:00

Napolean was 5'3 and he became the emperor of France and took shit over so if he didn't give a shit, neither should you.

2012-01-03T06:57:44+00:00

Just don't look at their feet and assume they are wearing high heels

2012-01-04T05:11:46+00:00

I had the same problem with baldness but eventually I just got over it. If you're so insecure that it reflects on your actions, it's going to have negative impact on your game. Up your confidence, get over it. It will affect your results but not as badly as having a lack of confidence because of it will.

Option #2, move to asia, they're usually shorter on average there ~

devotedshift · 2012-01-02T23:14:20+00:00

Height has only a little bit to do with it. Those stats are ridiculous and it really comes down to the women you are attracting or trying to go after. If you are going after women who tend to be shallow... you will have a much harder time. Physical attraction is important in any relationship. You need to have both an emotional attraction and physical attraction. So focus on the emotional connection. I have fallen for two guys who I didn't find attractive at first but it came later when I started to connect with them on a deeper level. Women love depth, that's why they love intimacy.

I'm a girl and usually I have dated guys who are 6'2" and above. I am 5'7" and having a dude taller than me is a physical preference because I like to feel more feminine than the guy I am dating. Working out helps but honestly if you don't change your mind set things wont ever change. You need to change your attitude and self-esteem in order to attract women- it doesn't all boil down to height. If you lack the confidence and you don't own who you are and everything that comes with it (height and all) you won't attract a woman. And if you do... you will attract a very insecure girl. We attract the same qualities we possess, so if you want to attract women who are confident and not shallow. Start there, and start with yourself. You need to work on your own self-esteem before you can attract a women with a healthy mindset and have an outstanding relationship.

I'm dating a guy who is 5'9" and has a smaller frame and 15 lbs heavier than me. I wasn't attracted to him at first since we could honestly swap clothing but we had a great emotional connection and he quickly became a really close friend then soon enough my boyfriend. He was very persistent in trying to date me and eventually the strong emotional connection turned in to a physical connection. I never thought I would date someone shorter than 6'0 feet but height has nothing to do with it. His confidence and frame blew me away.... being a quality guy beats any "undesirable physical qualities" bar none.

TheComrades · 2012-01-02T20:44:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2012-01-03T06:08:15+00:00

Height has absolutely no bearing on whether or not a woman finds you attractive. Being tall is not inherently attractive nor even inherently a benefit to survival.

Get over it. I'm fat as fuck (okay not really, but damn chubby), and the ladies love a little something to grab. You can always spin something into a positive or a negative. Obviously you're not going to get over it overnight, but at least acknowledge that most women simply don't give a fuck.

However, if you get butthurt over something, then the woman will notice it. You're basically highlighting a flaw by being self-conscious about it.

Most dating "studies" or "statistics" are pure bullshit. People either lie, results are misinterpreted, the research methods suck, etc. Oftentimes, people who make these studies probably don't even go out into the field. They probably observe it from a 3rd-person viewpoint without actually experiencing it first-hand. That results in the whole, "YOU SHOULD MATCH HER BREATHING PATTERNS TO CAUSE ATTRACTION YOU WILL SURELY WIN HER HEART" bullshit.

Again, height as absolutely NO BEARING on attraction. But you know what gets 99% of the ladies? Being confident and funny. I know it's anecdotal evidence, but I know PLENTY of short men who have extremely satisfying dating lives. Don't dwell on it too much. People tend to blow up such insignificant things, but it really doesn't matter.

Looking at half the replies here, and I can already tell that most of the people don't know what the fuck they're talking about. Anyone with experience in the PUA community should know that something like height is completely insignificant when it comes to attraction. What is this, influx of the new years resolutionists?

solero85 · 2012-01-02T21:43:34+00:00

Im 6'2 so it doesnt affect me BUT i got a friend whos like 5'7 and I would rate him lookswise 5/10. His gf is 5'8 and prolly a 8.8/10. He is not particularly rich (he makes more than his gf moneywise, but only bc shes 4 years younger.. but shes smart and i guess her salary could be almost the same once shes as old as him)

So trust me... although it could make it harder for you... it does not mean that you dont have a chance. Just see it as a bigger challenge and fight even harder, improve your game even harder etc etc.

GL

GorillaJ · 2012-01-04T00:01:23+00:00

I feel your pain, being only 6'3".

Title	Absolutely cannot get over my huge insecurities about height
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	60
Date	January 2, 2012 8:37 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/o05i4/absolutely_cannot_get_over_my_huge_insecurities/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/absolutely-cannot-get-over-my-huge-insecurities.1306081 https://theredarchive.com/post/1306081

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