A lot of new guys to the pickup community find fictional role models who they aim to be like, folks like James Bond and Don Draper. They're good looking, they have great wardrobes, wit and charm pours out from every word, gorgeous women flock to them, and they can be the coolest dude in the room just with a look.

They're also (newsflash) fictional characters. There may be a couple people like that in real life, but the vast majority of charismatic, cool, confidence dudes bear no resemblance to those characters. Master pickup artists aren't even like that.

For a while I've been telling guys to stop trying to learn from movies and television. You know why a line worked in film? Because the response was scripted. You know why everyone laughed at that joke? Because the response was scripted. You know why no one interrupts that character while he's speaking? Because the script tells them to wait their turn to speak. James Bond gets the girl because the script says so.

The problem with trying to learn from movies and TV is that you are not learning about real world dynamics. You're not learning how people actually respond, and you're not learning the most important thing of all, which is how to read a situation and calibrate. The only way you do that is out in the field.

Some people will say that they know the responses are scripted, but that they're just trying to learn about vocal intonation or body language. That's largely the same fakery though. That pretty girl didn't approach Don at the bar because of his commanding body language. She did it because the script said to it.

Having said all that, there is one thing I think you should learn from movies and television:

People Do Stuff

Mind blowing, right? What I mean is that characters voice their opinions and they take actions on their desires. Imagine Fight Club, but the narrator never confronts Marla and when he decides he wants to know what it'd be like to be in a fight instead of beating himself up he just goes home to play X-Box. Imagine Mad Men with a pitch meeting where the only thing said is, "Okay, that's good" or "I'm not sure yet." Boring, right?

Unfortunately, that's how many people live their lives. They have a goal, but they don't act on it. They have something they want to say, but they decide it's easier to keep it to themselves. Sometimes shutting up is the prudent thing to do, and sometimes there are practical reasons for not taking action, but when you do become passive it should be a conscious, deliberate choice, not inaction due to being timid or lazy.

There Are No Pussies On Television

A result of fictional characters speaking their mind and taking action is that there are almost no characters you could describe as a pussy. Speaking and taking action requires a sort of courage, self confidence, and inner drive, and those qualities are not compatible with being a pussy. When there is a fictional character who is a pushover, it's almost always for the purpose of setting up a narrative arc about that character gaining strength.

When I think about the most wimpy, least cool fictional character -- the person who you'd least want to emulate if you want to be attractive to women -- the character who comes to mind is Butters from South Park. But you know what? Butters still tells people what he's thinking.

No, let me tell you somethin', fellers! You always take advantage of me, and after reading The Catcher in the Rye, I've learned you're nothing but phonies! I'm not letting you trick me this time! So the four of you can just suck on my wiener!

A pussy wouldn't say that. Stop trying to be like James Bond, and start trying to be less of a pussy than Butters.

From the Above the Game blog I'm writing with TofuTofu.