Advice on starting out

SecondThreat · 2015-04-01T17:16:59+00:00

If you are having trouble making eye contact with women, that should be your first step. Do things in baby steps. For example, start making eye contact for a week. Next week, add a smile. After that, start doing both of those and say hello, etc. Women are people too, they like social interaction.

As far as books go, read "Models" by Mark Manson. It is an excellent book and really puts things in perspective. However, it is important to not become too absorbed in reading about seduction and not do it. The only way the anxiety goes away is by doing it.

Lastly, use us. We are here to help you. Post FR's.

Edit: Grammar/Punctuation

rofio · 2015-04-01T20:49:02+00:00

Talk to everyone, say hi to people randomly when out for a jog and see how many respond positively. Importantly note the ones that don't respond positively, some times you 'approach' is off, sometimes they're caught up in their own thoughts, sometimes they're rude or shocked. Gradually step up through talking to cashiers, co-workers, friends, acquaintances then strangers before you try any sexual escalation. Often putting yourself out there is sufficient to display confidence, and begin to receive positive feedback and attraction.
Hit the gym if you aren't already, improving your physique will improve your confidence. Join meetup groups in your local area when you're confident enough to get out of your comfort zone and meet new people. Focus on making friends rather than looking to hook up randomly. Each friend you make has a entire network of people open up to you and connecting with them on a consistent level makes you more likely to meet someone you have chemistry with. Get ready to face rejection, and get ready for it to hurt. But get ready to have some fun too :)

Throwaway_d · 2015-04-02T12:08:21+00:00

Many newbies make the mistake of reading loads of seduction material. This is actually harmful to you. You want to learn a little bit at a time and then go and apply it.

No 'seduction technique' will work until you are comfortable talking to women. So work on that first. You need to gradually desensitise yourself to approaching until it becomes normal for you.

This is a really hard thing to do - it took me nearly 2 years to get comfortable. But it's totally worth it.

2015-04-01T17:42:52+00:00

Hey there, I totally agree with secondthreat, "Models" by Mark Manson is a great book that will open up a whole new world for you, he goes deep into situations and personal experience. Also, he gives tons of mental and physical exercises that you should practice.

Personally I think you are lacking a bit of self confidence here, and you are not the only one out there with this problem, I too at one time had no self confidence, I saw my life going downhill, not only in the dating world but in the real world as well, quitting college, not knowing which career path to take because I was scared to fail, I was becoming a mess. Point of me telling you that is because self confidence and believing in the person you genuinely are can be huge factors in the success with woman and in life. Finding yourself and what you truly like and enjoy is the key ingredient here, as well as self respect.

Start with an online dating app or website, this eliminates any shy or awkward confrontation, practice your conversation skills, this will make you more comfortable with the lady before you actually meet.

MensSocialLab · 2015-04-01T21:16:57+00:00

Everyone commenting has already made good suggestions, but I would add:

Say good morning to everyone you pass by, every morning. I did this before I was able to cold approach to build myself up.

Start real conversations with anyone you interact with at a store, including the clerks. Make a comment on their mood, something they're wearing or even the weather if you're stumped. Become observant and you will never run out of conversation pieces.

If you go to cafes then start conversations with women the same way as I already mentioned. Be observant and make a comment on whatever you see, like an interesting coloured nail polish, her hair, the coffee, clothing item or the environment. You can throw these comments out to whomever is nearby. More casual the better.

Don't just focus on women, talk to everybody.

thekidbass · 2015-04-01T22:12:11+00:00

Don't buy those DVD's. Im sure you can find the pdf of Models online, BUT support his revolutionary book on dating by buying a copy. Its like 12$ on barnes and nobles.

If you want to deal with your "creepiness" then Models is your way to go.

Most things that you need to know will come from actual practice on the field. You can tell any athlete how to do something, but it will take them hands on practice to actually get it done, and to actually learn something.

Best of luck man and if you need understanding of ANY terminology, don't hesitate to ask here or in my messages. Best of luck & welcome!

lntoTheSky · 2015-04-01T22:24:09+00:00

If you're going to buy any book, I would insist on you purchasing "The Manual" by W. Anton. I think it's like $10 as an ebook on amazon (kindle reader app is free) and it's a very fast read. I would go so far as to say it's the only book you need, since every piece of information about seduction is there, although it may take you a few reads and some field experience to fully grasp all of the information.

Another point is practice! A lot of people I know and who I've worked with in seduction fall into a sort of comfort zone, where the read a lot and rarely go out. In my opinion, you should be out in the field for 4 hours for every 1 hour you spend reading material/watching videos. This way, you can easily evaluate your weaknesses and sticking points, and then go back to the books or web and figure out how to fix them, before going out again.

Finally, never let yourself fall into a comfort zone. You should always be pushing yourself just a bit beyond your comfort zone.

Title	Advice on starting out
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	9
Date	April 1, 2015 4:39 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/312qcr/advice_on_starting_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/advice-on-starting-out.1386111 https://theredarchive.com/post/1386111

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