Am I doing cold approach wrong?

eyesopen1111 · 2021-09-09T20:53:07+00:00

Your instincts are right, you are cold approaching incorrectly. From a Game perspective, you’re getting flakes, ghosting, and low investment responses because you’re not emotionally and psychologically compelling enough to the girls that you’re cold approaching. You need to make a stronger connection to where she has a tension around wanting to see you again. Once she feels that, it won’t matter what form of communication you use next with her because there's no way in hell she’d let you slip through her fingers!

It takes high level Game to be so compelling to a girl after only knowing her a short time, but at least now you know what you’re working towards. One big help for the intermediate is to use cold approach as more of a sniper approach for girls you are really attracted to, and not as a general lead source for mass numbers of phone numbers/IG accounts. Your genuine high interest level for the few selected girls will make you naturally more compelling and you’ll spend more time with them, going for impromptu instadates and same-day lays--only settling for numbers as a less desirable outcome.

You are better than most. Congrats.

j2bbt238 · 2021-09-09T19:41:44+00:00

Why are you asking for ig and not phone number?

behind_your_eyes · 2021-09-09T20:19:59+00:00

If you have a great conversation with a girl there is more chance that she will be more responsive by text or ig. You said that there is nothing much to discuss about... You are at a concert lol you can speak about music, if she often go to concert, if she know a similar artist, etc. You have the balls to approach it's great, but try to build a conversation, to exchange some things before getting the contact. The objective is not the Instagram or the number, the objective is to see again the girl.

snowdude11 · 2021-09-09T22:03:27+00:00

No girl is going to go on a date with a random stranger that spent less than 5 minutes talking to them. Stop leading with "Are you single?" and instead comment on something topical or try a more organic conversation opener. You need to have a normal conversation with them so they feel comfortable enough around you to go on a date.

Alextryingforgrate · 2021-09-09T20:46:01+00:00

Then I was like "I think you're really cute and I was wondering if you're single?" Which would usually result in either them saying yes or their friends getting excited and start laughing, eventually resulting in her giving her Instagram after I ask for it, but I didn't really make full conversations with anyone and wondering if I needed to?

You started well with the compliment, YOU need to follow through with making a connection. Therefore a conversation is needed. What to talk about? Youre at a concert, figure it out. Just dont do regular closed yes, no type questions. Also ask for their phone numbers and txt them right away with a little hey its (your real name here) meet you at the concert.

earsurgery9 · 2021-09-09T22:31:04+00:00

short of spitting at her on the open or some other extremely uncalibrated behaviour, there really is no 'wrong' or 'right'

Almost every book on seduction disagrees on every point with the next author. (for example compare mysterymethod with models by mark manson, or LondonDaygame model with gunwitch etc)

So whatever you are doing you are doing 'right' according too at least one of the seduction experts.

In your case, you are running 'mode 1' type game. Open confident and state your intent.

So no, you're not doing it 'wrong'. You need to try to build a bit more comfort and stay in set a bit longer with the girls that actually are attracted/give you their numbers

In truth (and the reason all the 'experts' disagree) there is no method. It's just about approaching, screening for the girls who are attracted to you, having a chat and flirting and escalating. Easy

Sevenalligator7 · 2021-09-10T08:32:54+00:00

Just my personal tip, don't say "I think you're cute" before asking for the number. It ruins the tension, plus your non verbal actions show interest that you think she's cute cause you approached. I usually go with "I just wanted to say wassup/hey but is it cool if..."

Also some may argue against this but, I only go for numbers (unless I'm certain she's feeling me) if she offers anything else other than what you asked for, it's really a consolation prize. Social media is a facade of gratification and doesn't always implicate her attraction to you. I usually say I don't have social media. If they like you enough they'll give their number which I think is more intimate.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2021-09-09T22:53:54+00:00

Well yes you are not even a attempting at seducing then in person… if you want a solid number close (or instagram close in your case) you need to actually have more reasons than “you are cute” to ask for her number or instagram

Otherwise they will feel like you just do this with every cute girl out there and as such won’t take your interest seriously and most likely will pass.

So you do have to talk for 5-10 minutes get to know her a little bit, and actually tell her why you want to see her again not just because she is cute but because based on the conversation you had with her you found something different that makes you more intrigue or interested in her.

Himmmmmm · 2021-09-09T19:44:59+00:00

I know much abt nothing but are you doing any effort in conversing with these women? They share photos on their IG and the best you can do is ‘Let’s meet’?

dreameater42 · 2021-09-09T20:23:21+00:00

you need to make them like you. have some sort of substantive conversation or try to make them laugh. with what you're doing now you might as well just be walking up to women and asking them if they want to fuck

Adjustedwell · 2021-09-10T01:17:04+00:00

a small bit of thats how it goes and a big bit they maybe don't like whats on your instagram, go for a convo a build more value in you and then go for a phone number, if they arent willing to give a phone number chances are they arent willing to go for a date. Saves you time. Your self awareness is a valuable skill, you'll get good, keep at it.

TiNyUzi · 2021-09-10T02:10:01+00:00

Get their number/snap over IG. Now they just gained a free fan. An IG is nothing compared to the number..

cleatusbrown · 2021-09-10T02:57:18+00:00

Is 'getting an instagram' a thing? Do people use that rather than numbers? Not sure what I'm missing.

Enderzebak4 · 2021-09-10T10:42:47+00:00

Bro instagram is no the way, ask for their number or something

Javardo69 · 2021-09-10T16:04:57+00:00

Why youre approaching? You want to bang the girl or not? Just tell her what you want. Dont mislead with the instagram stuff youre not congruent.

DarkMinkus · 2021-09-15T03:23:24+00:00

Approaching women with "I think you're really cute and I was wondering if you're single?" isn't going to get you the result that it sounds like you're looking for, which is a genuine connection. Really successful relationships tend to be a sort of slow burn, and while you want her to know that you're interested, it tends to be a bit of a red flag to someone who might otherwise be interested in you to just drop that bomb out the gate. Don't think about it so much, and just have a normal conversation and try to develop a personal connection beyond just romantic intimacy.

Don't listen to a lot of the advice on this sub. It is toxic.

Title	Am I doing cold approach wrong?
Author	Sacobread
Upvotes	38
Comments	43
Date	September 9, 2021 7:39 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pl4yp1/am_i_doing_cold_approach_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/am-i-doing-cold-approach-wrong.1276428 https://theredarchive.com/post/1276428

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