Any tips on having better conversation starters?

ReplyYouDidntExpect · 2018-07-12T14:50:00+00:00

I think there are too many aspects to conversation to zero in on what you should improve on. It's like a car that is having engine problems. Until you zero in on the engine with a mechanic, the best you can do is attempt to guess what could be causing the issue.

My opinion is that what you initially say matters less than the middle of the conversation anyways.

Some of the things i've been working on myself in terms of improving conversation with people is:

Not speaking just to speak. "A wise man is slow to speak and quick to listen." I used to find myself trying to add to conversations just to hear myself. I've learned recently that not only is knowing what to say important, but also when to say it.
Releasing yourself from your inhibitions. Thats the voice in your head that commentates on stuff as you do it. It's also the thing responsible for anxiety and stress. I don't claim to know too much about this one because I'm still learning myself, but I've been working on being mindful of my thoughts. One of the best expressions someone told me is "A bird can land on your head, but you don't have to let it build a nest." Its the same way with your thoughts. Just because anxiety weighs down on you doesn't mean you have to succumb to its ill effects like getting nervous. Again this ones tricky because even if you get better at being mindful, they never really leave. In my opinion mindfulness is like a muscle you work out though.
I also like to be transparent in how I speak with people. I've realized that in life there are times where I've found myself entering the room and changing my persona to appeal to the people in the room around me or in some instances wearing masks because I wanted particular people to like me. I feel like a lot of times this translates into the way people use seduction. They adjust their frame to appeal to who they're talking to, but miss the entire point of interactions. To form deep meaningful relationships with the people around them. It doesn't necessarily mean that people are gonna fuck with your vibes either though. I've learned recently though that I'm comfortable in my identity so when I talk to people I know that if they don't fuck with it that others will. Being transparent should improve the quality of your conversations because it eludes to the first point. Why talk about shit you don't want to talk about? If you see someone that you're interested in because they're outware appearance appeals to you, wouldn't you want to vibe with them in other ways? I guess it doesn't really matter because you can still fuck at the end of the day, but what I've learned myself is that sex oftentimes is empty, even hookups so if you're going to hookup why not try to add depth to it anyways? I fuck with interesting people because there came a point in my life where I realized that relationships with people are abundant, but the value lies in people who you connect with on a deeper level.

I hope I provided some sort of insight into how I feel about conversation. I guess its one thing to tell you all of this stuff, but for me I feel like the real value is when all of these elements starts to transform your view on the way we interact. I know if my interactions don't go 100% well that life goes on so when I talk to people I try to do so without a care in the world.

Of course, with everything you do repetition is key. Like I said previously, there are a lot of elements that make up "successful conversation." I couldn't give you specifics about things you may want to work on unless I observed myself. The more you put yourself out there the better your understanding should become about how people interact. I'm no expert, but I know the more time I put into something the easier it is to understand.

Stay breezy.

EnvironmentalTwister · 2018-07-12T17:45:57+00:00

Watched a recent todd video and he was saying something about making assumptions/statements rather than too many questions which gets into interview mode.

CollaterLDamage · 2018-07-12T18:12:21+00:00

Those are just warm up rounds. Your brain needs to get ready for conversation.

RandomLoLs · 2018-07-12T14:07:36+00:00

Ask them something like, what’s the plan for the day ? Plans for weekend ? You seem tired, happy

Title	Any tips on having better conversation starters?
Author	The_Reddit_Jester
Upvotes	10
Comments	6
Date	July 12, 2018 1:48 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8y9x63/any_tips_on_having_better_conversation_starters/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/any-tips-on-having-better-conversation-starters.1449788 https://theredarchive.com/post/1449788

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