Are accountability, self reflection, and apologizing masculine traits, or are they perceived as weakness?

Back2theCouture · 2025-06-26T21:09:55+00:00

Cases like this usually occur because the pattern has already been set up in the beginning. The power dynamic is so tilted toward the woman because the man has pedestalized the woman in the first place. Always caves in, always says yes, always tries to “make it up to you.” Always the man knows a lot about the woman, her friends, her family members. But the woman barely knows anything about him. Because he’s so attracted to her and would like to know everything about her, but not the other way around.

Case in point:

The woman wants a (fancy) dinner for their first date. It’s not about the money, actually. Most guys usually don’t mind paying for the whole dinner. But let’s be honest: it’s not about the money. It’s about her already setting the expectancy that high. Let’s give it a number: say a 100.

While guys typically want to start from 0 or even 10 and see it from there. Let’s say the guy wants to have a lunch/coffee date, or just walking in the park or visiting a museum. If the relationship gets better afterwards then the number will automatically go up. Maybe on 3rd date he’s planned a candle light dinner. Or a weekend getaway together in a fancy resort.

This is why once the number is set to “100” since the first date, then anything below that is unacceptable. Even you gotta apologize for minor things that are probably out of your control. Every date and every interaction is a struggle, because the bar is already set that high. Women are aware of this, while most of us are not.

SithLordJediMaster · 2025-06-27T04:38:51+00:00

Also never point out a mistake. Never tell a person "You're wrong."

People will just get defensive. "How dare you!"

I suggest you read "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carneigie and "Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion" by George J Thompson and "Never Split The Difference" by Chris Voss.

Verbal Judo was written by a police officer on conflict resolution. It was life or death for him.

Never Split The Difference was written by an FBI Hostage Negotiator. He talks about "Tactical Empathy"

RealisticDiscipline7 · 2025-06-26T22:08:23+00:00

Women want to feel like the man has no qualms with being exceptionally generous with them. So I feel like there’s probably something about the context or the manner in which you’re trying to get a woman to admit her mistake that conflicts with the above premise.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-06-26T23:52:09+00:00

This has always been happening since the dawn of civilization. Women are never wrong, that's not a 21st century thing or a 20st century thing. This has been going for centuries. Women won't say sorry, because of feelings. They feel lie they are right, and as such any logical arugment you make is less valid than how they feel in their mind.

Hence you can't really argue with women, because women just want to feel understood. Men who understand women don't argue with them. It's only the men who don't understand them that argue constantly.

I like to think about women as cats. Cats don't show remorse, they do what they want, when they want it, and if they feel like it. Trying to reprimand a cat makes cats yawn at best. Unlike dogs cats don't try to please. Women are kinda similar in that aspect. Trying to argue with a woman is like trying to argue with a cat.

This is just their nature, so it's something you have to adapt to. Try to empathise instead of trying to be right. And if you still get frustrated, then don't date women. Because owmen are not perfect, they have nice things but other things that are part of their nature is just what it is.

Secure-Outcome8687 · 2025-06-27T00:30:12+00:00

Accountability and self reflection are absolutely masculine because they come from a healthy place and/or a desire to improve as a man. Apologising is a little more complicated.

Just remember not to be too hard on yourself and don't overthink stuff to the point where you lose motivation. Paralysis through analysis sucks.

SithLordJediMaster · 2025-06-27T04:26:42+00:00

Professor Geoffrey Miller talks about the "Tender Defender".

According to him, female mate choice shaped male psychology towards being good protectors and providers and fighters.

Traits like bravery and kindness and caregiving were sexually selected because they benefited group survival.

Females of most species look for strength and compassion and altruism. Kind of like a Superman type of character.

Bringing value to a tribe and ensuring survival of the tribe.

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-06-27T15:45:09+00:00

Self reflection is rare in general and typically requires people to let go of their ego. With women especially this is hard as they have huge egos these days from everything online.

Accountability is similar. Issue is a lot of times people want to live in a made up reality as it’s just nicer to live there than the real world. And if they are accountable you’re asking them to see reality for what it is. Not the made up story they have in their head. And depending how far away from reality they are living it’s a big ask

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-06-27T09:00:16+00:00

All feminine traits are masculine, and all masculine traits are feminine. They can't function without one another, you need femininity to become more masculine and vice versa for women. See my post, masculinity and femininity.

Dandys3107 · 2025-06-30T14:28:08+00:00

What's the point of an apology? We all make mistakes from time to time, it's the nature of being human. In the bigger picture it doesn't matter that much, sometimes even messing up can lead to some interesting situations, dynamics or trigger unique emotions. Getting serious, strict, apologetic, acting weak and vulnerable over petty reason and to no purpose can only make the girl turn off sexually. Rule of a thumb would be that you should make up to for mistakes that really caused nasty consequences, simply and briefly, don't involve yourself too much in emotional drama, your woman needs you to act like a man even if she seem to expect or say different things.

Title	Are accountability, self reflection, and apologizing masculine traits, or are they perceived as weakness?
Author	proteinbiscuits
Upvotes	4
Comments	11
Date	June 26, 2025 8:50 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1llbavj/are_accountability_self_reflection_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/are-accountability-self-reflection-and-apologizing.1555663 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555663

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