I’m sure we’ll never know the answer but I had something happen this week and I’m curious about where shit tests come from.

I hooked up with someone I see often a few times over the summer. She pulled back. I liked her and probably showed too much interest but we had a good time and have been on and off flirty since . I think she has some commitment issues and looked for reasons to pullback.

I’ve self improved, practiced abundance to a high degree and am in a totally different place.

She hit me up to hang out this week and come over. We met and on the walk over she showed iois, kino and overall very good. Approaching my door she hit me with a shit test. Very unexpected. I ignored, waited 2 seconds and continued what I was saying. I don’t think I showed much reaction (which may be a reaction in and of itself).

She ended up staying over and we hooked up but the vibe was definitely different after that. Don’t think we’ll hangout or hookup again.

Anyway I just want to know, was that shit test conscious? Like “I’m having fun, this is good, but I don’t want to like him again so let me blow up and self sabotage” or did it come about unconsciously like some type of evolutionary trait?

I’ll hang up and listen.