Avoiding Small Talk; Classic Questions or Situational Observations?

recyclablebantha · 2014-08-13T08:53:25+00:00

However the problem is that when I start talking to a girl, I will sadly inadvertently fall back to safe and boring interview questions

It's not the questions, man. It's what YOU do with the answers.

Then you can improve by listening to what she says MORE. If you can do this, she'll give you more than enough material to work with and those questions like, "Where do you work?" or "Where are you from?" will actually be worth something. Listen well and you can use what she says to come up with excellent follow-ups.

Then typically I will flounder mentally because I realise these questions are boring as fuck, and then excuse myself because I can't think of what to say.

Those questions are not inherently boring. The problem is that you are your own worst enemy and you're basically blowing yourself out of sets by brow-beating yourself for not having magical questions.

It's sad because the questions are good enough, the problem is that you're distracting yourself by questioning how good the questions are when all your attention needs to be on their answers to those questions so you can properly follow up. The girl is going to know that you're not paying attention to her, even if they don't know that you're busy punishing yourself. And that awkwardness and discomfort will turn them off.

EDIT: While you can go the funny route with your responses to her answers, overall, you should be shooting to examine her answer for something you could investigate further. Think: get her talking herself. Don't think: interview mode with many questions. Think: Dig deeper into the subject matter at hand. Try to get at her feelings and motivations.

alaver · 2014-08-13T18:32:25+00:00

I like to go towards questions that will lead to a date... like Where are you from? turns into... are you born and raised here? if she says yes... I would give her a skeptical look and say: do you have a favorite local hidden gem? let her talk about it and eventually we go there haha.... if not you can recommend some of your own hidden gems and then take her there lol

Any question you ask will give you enough material to keep it going. Let her talk about the things that are important to her.

kwbach · 2014-08-13T15:05:13+00:00

Perhaps these videos by Shogo Garcia will help:

Part 1

Part 2

Title	Avoiding Small Talk; Classic Questions or Situational Observations?
Author	NAILGUNSODOMY
Upvotes	3
Comments	7
Date	August 13, 2014 8:02 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2df3ko/avoiding_small_talk_classic_questions_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/avoiding-small-talk-classic-questions-or.1375011 https://theredarchive.com/post/1375011

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