Can we stop posting about Tinder; it does nothing to contribute to self development.

Zack_Fair_ · 2014-05-01T20:48:54+00:00

it's not for me either, but it's still seduction. not covering the hottest e-dating commodity would be a gap for seddit.

nomdeanon · 2014-05-01T22:11:58+00:00

have you ever used Tinder? it only makes one part, the most trivial part of seduction, easy. The opening. after that it's everything else that makes seduction a challenge. You have to establish a rapport. You have to build comfort. You have to get her to meet you. Believe me, getting a girl to meet you is quite difficult sometimes. A majority of them are there just boost their egos, and have no actual intention of meeting anyone.

so why don't you give it a shot, spend about a month on Tinder, and then come back and tell us how much it sucks.

jack3d-- · 2014-05-01T23:14:13+00:00

Tinder is a medium to meet women, one that is extremely popular with mid 20 year olds. Why ignore it when its basically the perfect practice for your texting game.

lofiharvest · 2014-05-02T00:22:36+00:00

But it gets me laid/dates! Still approach in person thou. Use the tool, but dont let it become a crutch.

ackshunpact · 2014-05-01T23:11:56+00:00

can we stop posting about tinder?

Starting now? Or...after this one last post...?

No one is asking you to use tinder or read posts about it. And no one is claiming it turns you into a suave motherfucker.

Not everyone is on here to transform from an ugly duckling into a beautiful butterfly. Self-improvement is only one aspect of this sub, another being getting laid, for which tinder can be useful.

live and let live, buddy.

1vs1 · 2014-05-02T01:46:58+00:00

Personally I've learned a lot from Tinder. The main thing I learned is that you can say almost anything to a girl. The crude jokes I'd crack with my buddies can work on girls. I think it really lets you test seduction theory to test without being scared of failure since you keep matching with people.

Also I set up several dates with girls from Tinder. For beginners like me its so easy to set up dates with girls that don't make you nervous and its good to experience going on dates so that you won't overthink about dates in the future.

I think Tinder is good for the short term to really experience how the game is played. But it really shouldn't be relied on in the long run.

notlazy_justdontcare · 2014-05-01T22:02:58+00:00

The only difference between using Tinder and "engaging with the beautiful and interesting women of the world" outside is the initial contact. Once a meetup is set, the outcome of both scenarios should be played identically.

YouGoRunning · 2014-05-02T16:53:50+00:00

6 months ago, I had 2 girls who I was trying to hook up with. They both flaked out in the same day and I woke up the next day depressed and frustrated.

I started using Tinder last October and when I say use it, I mean I took it as seriously as a full time job. Constantly messaging, working on my photos, always talking to every girl I matched with on there and setting up dates. TONS of dates.

At first I was pretty bad. I wasn't that good at messaging and being funny, and I took it all a bit too seriously. I'd be nervous when the date was about to begin. I made awkward conversation. I had a hard time closing girls and getting them back to my apartment.

At my current estimation I've probably been on over 100 tinder dates, maybe more. With enough effort, I am able to set up a date for every night of the week using that site. I've set up 2-3 dates on certain nights and been able to get a ton of practice.

My confidence and the feeling of abundance that I have has grown massively. I've laid 14 girls so far this year, 3 of which I did not meet on tinder. Prior to this year, my life total was 30. I've had 2 threesomes involving 2 different Tinder girls matched with a girl that I was hooking up with before I started using Tinder. I'd never had a threesome before in my life. I've laid girls 12 years my junior, and girls who've dated professional athletes.

I've practiced body language, tone of voice, logistics for bringing the girl back to my apartment. My ability to read signals from girls who are interested has improved massively and my willingness to just "go for it" has improved dramatically. I used to wonder how guys pulled those last minute kisses at the end of the date, and now I make out with 95% of my dates inside of the bar in the middle of the date. I've become way better at reading signals and timing my escalation.

My belief in my ability to close a girl has skyrocketed. The back end of my game gets tighter by the day.

You're absolutely right that not approaching girls is still a crutch and a hole in my game, but as I approach now, I come from a completely different place. I have a ton of numbers in my phone. I have real options for getting laid at any given time. I know that I can build comfort, connection and rapport with a stranger. I come from a place of TRUE confidence, that I have built over time.

I know that once I put in the time to master the approach, I can really open the floodgates. I think of it as a way to flip the typical method of learning approach first and the back end of the game later. We'll see where it all goes, but it feels a lot like self development to me so far.

themantheMOment · 2014-05-01T23:48:07+00:00

I can totally see your point and anyone that is at home swiping right instead of going out should be shot. However, it is a great tool for building confidence. It teaches you abundance and I have found as a result my overall game has improved. Not everyone is able to make the leap into bar hopping for chicks so maybe the tinder crutch isnt so bad

dashboardfrontall · 2014-05-02T07:18:11+00:00

This is not /r/selfdevelopment. This is /r/seduction. Get off your fucking high horse.

punisher1005 · 2014-05-02T01:14:21+00:00

I was thinking the same thing. Tinder has zero to do with bettering yourself or your partner. It's quite literally the opposite of what this community is about and circle jerks about it are exactly why the pickup community has a bad name.

jroseland · 2014-05-01T22:08:53+00:00

I agree, I've been reluctant to join Tinder as I just don't see any personal development benefit from it. I live in Latin america and girls are painfully disrespectful to men outside their social circles, which is my why game relies deeply on ingratiating myself in social circle... There's no way to do this is on Tinder.

TimPartendale · 2014-05-01T22:11:23+00:00

Tinder posts are getting on my nerves

Imanitzsu · 2014-05-02T02:05:33+00:00

I just got back from a Tinder meetup. Like literally 8 minutes ago. I just moved to a new city. We didn't find ourselves madly in love, but we talked for 2.5hours, and it turns out she has a ton of single friends she's going to introduce me to. So....yeah....

edit: I'm also successful in the wild, but like someone else said, 10 minutes a night, and I have gotten two dates in 2 weeks since I moved here. If anything, it helps your text game.

DeceptiStang · 2014-05-02T04:13:07+00:00

i disagree, it is much easier to meet beautiful women around your city like this than it is to run around hoping you see a couple approachable chicks

zuperfly · 2014-05-01T20:48:34+00:00

Thanks for stepping out of the tinder circlejerk

ThePUA_Baddie · 2014-05-01T20:57:24+00:00

YES. FINALLY. The voice of truth has risen.

going out and putting your balls on the line in an effort to improve yourself.

Correction, putting your balls on the TABLE

Selfsatisfaction · 2014-05-02T01:15:55+00:00

This sub is for seduction. Not self-development. You could post some sociopathic crap about how you tricked a girl into having sex with you by saying your little brother recently died and it would still be more appropriate than than the same feel-good trash that gets posted day after day on here.

2014-05-02T15:27:03+00:00

Tinder not working out for you, bro?

stampyvanhalen · 2014-05-02T06:11:51+00:00

or maybe it's the future of seduction and your methods are growing old and tired and young geeks are getting laid through their smartphones while you study 'game'.

jack3d-- · 2014-05-01T23:34:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2014-05-02T00:47:19+00:00

Right on!

xzak · 2014-05-02T01:40:09+00:00

I agree. But i'll still allow /u/jack3d-- to continue posting his tinder vids.

jdepps113 · 2014-05-02T01:59:08+00:00

A crutch, or a tool?

Agret · 2014-05-02T02:03:43+00:00

Download reddit enhancement suite and you can filter out all the posts with tinder in the title

Felosele · 2014-05-02T02:20:29+00:00

r/selfdevelopment

urmyheartBeatStopR · 2014-05-02T04:41:28+00:00

Why not have a compromise and have a [online dating] tag or something?

And perhaps we can filter it out? Or mentally ignore it when we come across the tag.

childishgames · 2014-05-02T08:06:15+00:00

For me, tinder is basically just a venue to practice my text-game with no negative ramifications... but I agree, there shouldn't be so many questions about how to use tinder... it is a good place to just figure things out for yourself.

MarkAfterDark · 2014-05-02T08:34:23+00:00

Tinder has been great for me in terms of self betterment. People throw around the term "crutch" on here like it's such a bad thing. Hey sometimes people need training wheels on the road to self confidence. Tinder got me involved with people socially, made me realize that in a very shallow sense I'm a person worthy of someone else's attraction. Yes I agree that is probably not a healthy outcome alone, but from there after talking to several women I began to look for more meaningful interaction than just hookups. Hmm, what a strange sensation after a long period of depression, I almost didn't realize what I was craving. Oh, FRIENDSHIP!! Now I find myself meeting gals for bike rides instead of drinks. Or I find myself not using Tinder because the short term realization of "there actually are plenty of women and I'm a normal person" gave way to many other realizations about loving myself.

TLDR: Tinder can be a great tool for betterment.

Diavolo_1988 · 2014-05-02T13:09:33+00:00

I agree with this. I am not a typical "gaming" kind of guy, and have had tremendous success with tinder compared to earlier. However, the things I want to learn here is doing as well without tinder.

Seduction isn't only about getting layed. It's also about learning to be a seducing human being.

2014-05-02T13:30:13+00:00

I gotta disagree; it's just a useful tool that still improves seduction skills. People act like you still don't have to talk to the women and seduce them after meeting them. Getting a stranger to meet up with you is in no way a guaranteed lay.

joshsway · 2014-05-02T13:45:15+00:00

Disagree, however, posting of stupid conversations on tinder is a waste as the online conversation is actually not that correlated with any success with the girl in real life.

yokhai · 2014-05-02T14:14:09+00:00

Nah brah, it helps get you LAYD. TONIGHT!

asdkt · 2014-05-02T14:15:35+00:00

This post upsets me. Don't read them if you're not about it. I've found a ton of success with online dating.

moxiedrinker82 · 2014-05-02T14:41:14+00:00

Online Dating and Tinder are a crutch. If you keep using it, it won't help you become a sex worthy man. It is a cheap way out of trying to push yourself to be better with women and people in general.

Are you implying that men who you such things aren't worthy of having sex or relationships? Also, when has this sub been about being better with women and people in general? There's a lot of arrogant "Don't take 'no' for an answer, fellas!" posts on here, that's not making anyone better.

Honestly, if you don't like something, that's fine. Other people may like it or find a use for it, so it has a place here. If you feel it's diluting the quality of this sub that's a personal opinion and we're not responsible for how you feel about it.

Announcementguy · 2014-05-02T15:50:02+00:00

I don't really think this subreddit has a "flood" of posts - while I too prefer the self improvement stuff, the Tinder posts do not hinder or take away from the subreddit, they just add content

ThisGuyIsABear · 2014-05-02T15:58:48+00:00

Everyone is different, and to each their own, but based on personal experience I have to agree with OP. I used to read seddit, get myself all jazzed up, and then just go on tinder instead of out in the real world. It was easier and more convenient, but it would always end up the same way. I would never actually go out and physically put myself out there. There may be people who can manage both, but I know that for me, I tend to use it as a crutch and an excuse, and it can be deceptively easy to fall into that trap.

Parrtech · 2014-05-02T16:25:51+00:00

Nope you're wrong... This section is just about getting laid. Look at the goal result of every person who posts or ask for help. Its about getting laid and technology is making tricks useless.

FlatchestedMaid · 2014-05-02T23:46:04+00:00

I'd just like to ask what Tinder is about? It seems like a site used for flirting, and maybe used a tad differently than OkCupid except for sharing images? I don't see how people can actually get dates just by sharing images only and having random people liking their images. But that's just me.

SVT14 · 2014-05-03T21:24:21+00:00

I hate that app. Every chick I've met off of there is a) nothing like the pictures and b) nothing like they describe themselves.

JonDRock · 2014-05-06T19:32:25+00:00

I totally agree with this. I know plenty of dudes who can't get laid with cold approach or any kind of approach in real life. But they figured out how to get laid from online game. I'm happy they figured out a way to get laid, but they never actually work on their game, of attracting woman in real life when meeting them. It's kind of sad, that they settled for online game, and they get delusional by thinking that it's the same success as getting laid from cold approach.

crowstep · 2014-05-02T09:05:09+00:00

Tinder isn't some newfangled fad that kids will be bored with in a week, it's HOW DATING IS DONE NOW.

I really can't emphasise that enough. Sure, guys will still approach girls in real life, but for the millenial generation, Tinder (or whatever equivalent replaces it) will be how they meet people. It's just objectively better.

So no, we can't stop talking about tinder, any more than we could stop talking about phones or email or antiperspirant. Sure, you could go 'put your balls on the line'. OR you could use tinder, and get 5x as many dates as you would, with prettier girls.

Dorking · 2014-05-02T15:35:07+00:00

Best thing about tinder is validation specially if you have low confidence but it is a crutch just don't depend on it.

icecreamz · 2014-05-01T20:48:25+00:00

Thank you!

davrukin · 2014-05-02T05:09:36+00:00

I've been playing around with it on-and-off for a few months, but I have yet to get a single match. Not one. Maybe I just "like" too few girls.

Luckyluke23 · 2014-05-02T05:48:09+00:00

I tried tinder out. I just put a few pictures up of me with some girls from the club then just blab on about me for a parograph.

i didn't do to tell on it... mostly becuse it's baised on look si guess...

tastethebeefcurtain · 2014-05-02T00:38:06+00:00

I'm not a fan of game, I like to just talk about interesting things. Tinder makes it easy to start random conversations with girls with little social pressure. I went on about 6 dates, have around 20 tinder numbers, and fucked one of them a couple times. It's not about developing game, it's about having a wide array of conversations with a wide array of people, so that the mere act of conversation becomes easy.

Source:

I currently have a gf, so I deleted the app. However, when I had it I probably matched somewhere around 800 girls, of which I had at least a short conversation with over 75% of them.

timberwolvesguy · 2014-05-02T03:16:58+00:00

That app really isn't good at all. I deleted it. I probably swiped through over 1000 women and was matched with like 30 of them. Only around 5 of those 30 actually talked to me. Maybe I'm just ugly, but it was stupid and a waste of time. I'm not missing it.

Semperfi92 · 2014-05-02T00:10:45+00:00

I disagree that it is a "crutch." My biggest issue is that I am an introvert and don't frequent places where I can approach women. Tinder lets me see what's out there and is a good way to open.

nummas · 2014-05-02T02:25:14+00:00

Shots fired.

Verlier · 2014-05-02T02:26:24+00:00

Amen

CalvinHobb3s · 2014-05-02T08:55:50+00:00

I actually avoid it because it's too easy to set up dates with girls and becomes overwhelming. I don't feel like I've earned any of them, so they don't seem real. Does that make sense?

rombios · 2014-07-31T22:49:01+00:00

late comment but ill do so just the same. Online Dating is the better approach. Its the best way to meet the largest collection of women in your area you wouldnt necessarily EVER EVER I repeat EVER run into in your day to day wanderings between work and home

Most post college professionals are BUSY. Between work- home- gym - super market there is often little time to go out and meet people . Especially if you are focused on your career and advancement.

I have had great success with Online Dating. Met my ex-wife there and the last few girlfriends before her.

Thepimpandthepriest · 2014-05-01T23:38:19+00:00

Yo homies, Black Dragon here.

I agree with this. Yall are wasting your times with this nonsense.

Get lucky using this app, but damn, do we really need to hear about it? Pretty sure there's a sub reddit too.

Get back to the real world boys, let's keep it classy dawgs.

treefrog24 · 2014-05-01T23:37:52+00:00

Or you can just downvote what you don't like and move on. Welcome to Reddit where down voting is a thing.

Title	Can we stop posting about Tinder; it does nothing to contribute to self development.
Author	NAILGUNSODOMY
Upvotes	400
Comments	114
Date	May 1, 2014 8:31 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/24hh2d/can_we_stop_posting_about_tinder_it_does_nothing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-we-stop-posting-about-tinder-it-does-nothing.1370138 https://theredarchive.com/post/1370138

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