Being an Asshole vs Being Romantic vs not playing at all. I'm about to give up the game

kcpwnsgman · 2015-03-21T18:12:53+00:00

First off, your ego isn't your friend, it doesn't want you to become a better person. It wants you to remain where you are. Do you think your thought process is any different than a stereotypical, fedora wearing, awkward neckbeard that stays in and watches anime all night?

Second, your friend's advice isn't helpful in the long run. When you meet up with women, they'll see that you're not the person that sends :P and xD all the time, and you'll be back to square one.

Do you have difficulty getting male friends? If not then you might be behaving differently when you're talking to women. If you don't have the types of friends you want, it could be an indicator of a larger social issue.

You should realize that women, just like any human, has options when it comes to relationships, why would one women pick a (legitimate) asshole with a negative outlook on life when she could spend time with a guy that makes her feel good about herself?

Sorry if it sounds harsh, but negative attitudes piss me off more than anything.

onetimeiwasahero · 2015-03-21T22:03:33+00:00

I think your 'superiority complex' is just plain insecurity, Kanye.

turtle_eats_kangaroo · 2015-03-21T21:33:55+00:00

I don't think using emoticons or not is a good measure of your identity. It's just about habits. Some habits will generate better outcomes than others. I think you should be more open to changing surface level characteristics as long as you stay true to your core values, whatever they may be.

2015-03-21T22:01:47+00:00

Women worth your time aren't going to be attracted to someone who is mean, selfish, careless, judgmental, and egotistical. Actually you do sound like a typical asshole, honestly. Very few women are looking for a guy who treats them like shit, ignores them, judges them, and only gives a shit about themselves. Shocker, I know.

I think you need to ask yourself if using emojis and such is changing who you are or just your behavior/interactions with women. But, maybe the solution is to stop being an asshole.

sloshslapper · 2015-03-21T20:24:08+00:00

Let me be clear... you do have a superiority complex, and that is a turn off.

Girls don't want to date you because they can feel you judging them to determine whether you are better than them... which regardless of whether or not you are, you will always be able to fool yourself into thinking you are.

Stop judging people and start getting into the human experience. Your ego is your greatest weakness and it is fueled by your greatest strengths. It's time for you to marginalize those strengths and look for faults until you come to the inevitable conclusion that you, just like everyone else, are just another lonely soul looking for love in a world that is too fucking big and doesn't give a shit about you.

Stop gaming. Start seducing, and start with making yourself worth other people's time before you start forcing yourself on their time.

TygerJ99 · 2015-03-21T19:13:17+00:00

Why can't you be yourself and still do game won't you eventually fund a women that likes you for you?

TygerJ99 · 2015-03-21T23:18:03+00:00

They say people with ego always fail with game because of it. I believe I'd you gave up your ego and become okay with being reject you'll eventually find the one. Of course it's gonna take a while, 100s of girls are gonna say no before you find her and don't you think it'll be worth it?

HeirOfTheSurvivor · 2015-03-22T01:59:50+00:00

You shouldn't embrace your complexes, dude. I personally have worryingly hypomanic traits, most of which arose when I started uni. Obviously, counter-productive self-musing manifesting as superiority complexes plague me at every turn. But I know I'm still a human being, and letting complex-ridden thoughts rule my life will in no way lead to my personal happiness, nor will it allow me to interact with people the way I can when I clear my head.

Detach your complex from your sense of self. Decide that the complex isn't you, but a guy in your head trying to take the reins of your horse. Because unless you're comfortable being comfortable, you'll know all those things you think aren't actually you, and aren't what you want to be in the future.

You're not an asshole, you likely just stay in your head too much and don't consciously control your thoughts. Don't think complex-thoughts, and bam, in a few weeks you don't have a complex any more.

Well, it's either that, or you actually just want to feel different to all the other "normal people", and are happy basking in self-titled glory.

iliketurtlesdurr · 2015-03-22T03:15:15+00:00

maybe you should read up on research that shows that intelligence is strongly negatively correlated with reproductive success... and you can convince yourself that being intelligent is nothing to be egotistical about.

JessePinkman88 · 2015-03-22T09:45:10+00:00

I think the "be yourself" advice is more appropriate to guys who are already fun, happy and easy going people but they tend to change their behaviour around women (in the false hope they'll impress them).

It isn't appropriate advice for a person who sees themselves as an asshole and is unhappy or depressed. In this case, it is best to work on changing yourself into someone who you will be happy with. Have you worked out who that is? Once you have, start changing your habits and mindsets gradually until you become happier with the person that you are.

Then you can be yourself unashamedly as anyone who rejects that won't matter as you are happy with who you are.

ymiapheramone · 2015-03-22T11:59:48+00:00

Trying to defend my ego I've lost a couple of good job opportunities, my place in the cricket team (I'm good at most hand-eye coordination based sports. Yeah fuels my ego even more). So I'm fine with losing women for my ego.

Do you even listen to yourself? Nevermind morality and being able to function with people. (This is still important.) You've given away opportunities in order for this self sustaining self destruction.

Or who knows there could be a version of game that I can do without changing myself.

Different approach or not, the only thing that changes are the women who will be attracted to it. Whether or not these are the women you "want" is a different story I suppose. You're not going to find quality women with methods that would suit you at the moment. Only damaged women who seek self punishment or people who won't know you for a long time so your personality becomes irrelevant and more superficial aspects become everything. (One night stands, FWBs and such)

I'm posting this to see whether some other asshole has a hack that could fix my problem.

There is no magic pill which any of us can give you. At its core, seduction is about getting along with people and since you're so opposed to it I can't think of how these things would work out apart from what ive mentioned. To be fair, all the theory for that is out there on this subreddit somewhere.

Big_TX · 2015-03-22T17:20:01+00:00

Stop being mean, selfish, careless and judgmental. Those are bad qualities.

Learn to be playful. You aren't able to loosen up because you arnt confortable with that/ have not learned how to. People arnt just "serious" or just "loosens up" people have different sides to them selves. If you are only experiencing one side of your self you are only living a fraction of your life.

I have no idea about what to do about your ego. It's bad to have a big ego because it controls you and you can't make your own decisions, it controls you to preserve its self.

I would look into decreasing my ego and building self esteme if I were you.

Also if your ego gets shattered it can send you down into a real low.

DaygameCoach · 2015-03-21T20:36:17+00:00

The "be yourself" thing is for women (and hot, since it's men who are pursuing..mostly based on female looks). With men it's about "being your best self." If you do what you have always done, you will get what you've always gotten. Also known as "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

johnnymaddick · 2015-03-21T18:50:45+00:00

If you do something and you get results that you don't like, try doing something differently. Simple as that.

Johnny Maddick, DatingWithAccent.com

Title	Being an Asshole vs Being Romantic vs not playing at all. I'm about to give up the game
Author	FredBorden
Upvotes	8
Comments	18
Date	March 21, 2015 5:24 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2ztlei/being_an_asshole_vs_being_romantic_vs_not_playing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/being-an-asshole-vs-being-romantic-vs-not-playing.1385601 https://theredarchive.com/post/1385601

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