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[–]JeanMeti_ore 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Keep things simple
https://youtu.be/VjQF4WRn8K8
If they're messaging you first, they're engaging you! They want you to make a move! If you take too long to make a move, you'll be friend zoned or labelled a coward! They may even think you're gay....
A girl may tell you she's "bored" or somthing like that. It's up to you to lead and make things happen at this point! you'll get the hang of it, bro! Good luck!
[–]anaxianis 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Just. Keep. The. Tension.
Also, use 😉😏.
[–]CardiologistBig8721 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Honestly sounds sexy as hell even though I have no idea how to execute that 😉🤷🏻♀️
[–]arjungmenon 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
What does it mean to keep the tension?
How is it done?
[–]anaxianis 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Put yourself in a women's shoes and try to understand what would cuase her to feel butterflies when you look at her.
She wants to feel safe, excited, significant, worthy but also desires to chase someone SEEMINGLY greater than herself.
All of those things are caused by many different elements, but that sexual excitement is cuased primarily through eye contact.
Tension in eye contact is caused by giving off the vibe that you desire her beyond words. Stopping mid sentence when you speak to look down at her lips then look back at her eyes through a prolonged duration creates a frame of intimacy.
Many people are afraid to prolong eye contact. They treat eye contact like formal business interactions. However, if you want to give off a vibe of sexual energy, you have to act seductively. Slow down your movements. Prolong eye contact. And most of all, DO NOT RESOLVE NONVERBAL TENSIO.
[–]juicey115 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
wouldn’t nonverbal tension be awkward? what would u be doing during the silence
[–]E9er 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🙃😏
🤫🍭
😝🙈
you get the point. you tease. like a kid on christmas you tease them with the xbox but don’t give it to them. so they beg you for it! 😉🤸🏼
[–]StephenDawg 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Flirt - don't chat.
More specifically, you can talk about things but keep up some tension. If you don't know how they feel about you, probe - use inuendo and attempt to get them to play along.
[–]awesomenesscoolguy 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
From personal experience, texting a lot can have a negative impact on their attraction toward you. If they text you they want you to initiate a date and/or feel your attention. Obviously this changes once you state being bf/gf, but in the beginning the phone should only be used to set dates. Don’t text all day, set a date and stop texting.
Keep things playful when your texting, use “lol” or “haha” so she knows you’re being playful.
[–]changy15 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I find that lol and haha do a great deal to remove your masculinity in the conversation. Just my opinion.
[–]spencesos 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Some girls don't like emoji or lol's it depends on the girl.
[–]awesomenesscoolguy 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I see where you’re coming from, but you’re not gonna be using lol and haha every text, but when you are teasing its gonna be needed to show you are playing with her. So you don’t come off as a dick because it’s hard to interpret over text.
[–]anaxianis 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree. "Lol" resolves tension. However, I've found "haha" to work when you or her crack a joke.
It also depends on the level attraction she already has for you. If you already obtain a major attraction element, like power, money, fame, extremly good looks, or clout then using emojis and lol might work more often.
But I think using lol just makes you seem insecure. Just my opinion.
[–]arjungmenon -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is a fair point.
It’s probably a tad bit immature, and perhaps also looks like you’re trying too hard.
[–]changy15 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It’s just the context in which it gets used. Most people use it as a filler to their sentence and it usually does off as insecurity in what you are saying or insecurity in your character.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The only situation that I can see this working is when you just want a hook up, and not a real relationship with the girl, texting, talking, helps to build intimacy.
[–]InternationalBorder9 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good advice my man. Texting is to set dates not to build a relationship.
This guy knows the fundamentals
[–]DaJosuave 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea the reason why you shouldnt text alot is bc it leaves lot of room for ambiguity if they dont know you that well it's very likely they will take things the wrong way.
Though if you havent seen each other in a while you have to keep in touch, so do text, appropriately. I would not try to have entire conversations by texting. It was never meant for that by the way.
Why not try calling, if you feel like they want to "chat" mention a call and see where that goes you might find it hard to not be boring doing that.
Other than that you need to dive into some good topics, ask questions, and be your silly self man. Just get to tje point wher eyou are relaxed enough to be yourself and you will be intresting/intriguing to the right person. Thanks for coming to my TEDx talk.
[–]YoDaddy1069 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Not thrilled about the advice I’m seeing here. Me, I’m a big fan of standup comedy so I developed pretty solid humor through that and I also watch videos on YouTube about seduction and game. The important thing about women is that you need to make them feel some sort of emotion, that’s key. Negative emotions are better than no emotions at all, that’s why complete assholes get more girls than "nice guys". Start off the conversation, feel free to drop some jokes and feel her out. If she’s into the jokes that’s a good sign, you don’t want to keep making the jokes and be a clown, eventually you’ll want to try to get a little more serious and seductive and let her know you’re really into her. Then you’ll want to set up a date to meet, it better be within one week of that day, any longer decreases your chances. You need to get that date in while the sexual tension is still there. Yeah, I know, it’s a lot of work and women are difficult, but if it was "easy", every guy would be a professional pick up artist. Also just remember that you can use killer lines and plays but sometimes it just doesn’t work cause the girl is not into you. If the girl is even only a little bit interested in you, game can be used to make them addicted to you.
[–]InternationalBorder9 -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You lost me at negative emotions are better than none.
In the context of life yes maybe but I don't think making a girl you hardly know feel negative emotions as a direct result of you is the way to go
[–]YoDaddy1069 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
I don’t either. I was just pointing out that women are emotional creatures and they need to feel something. That way when they see you a second time, they think “oh I remember this guy, this guy made me feel this way”. Girls with daddy issues date assholes, and guys that are socially awkward that don’t make the girls feel anything have no chance with them
[–]InternationalBorder9 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I agree with you but my point was if they are like 'oh I remember that guy he made me feel upset' then it won't help unless the girl has some issues like you said.
I guess that's why a lot of the negging style techniques work on those kind of girls so if your just going for a hookup I guess it could work but I would much prefer emotionaly healthy women for hookups or relationships
[–]YoDaddy1069 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Totally agree with you on emotionally healthy girls. Way better options
[–]ScarletFire3 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Something I’ve been doing is just taking longer than usual to answer, if u answer too quick it makes you seem needy and then the convo burns out a lot quicker. If ur answering every 15-30 minutes it gives u time to think of a good response and it makes you seem like ur busy and have other stuff going on
Nah, if the girl it's not the type that likes to play games, if she is mature enough, you will look like a dumb tenager and it will turn her off or make her a little angry. I respect all the good guys that replies fast and when they can, in the most natural way, you won't look needy if you reply fast, the way that you act + what you say can tell if you are needy. But why people think that being unavailable, distant and busy it's attractive to woman?? That is something very wrong there, you will never see a girl saying " oh I love how he treats me as an option, like it wondn't make any difference if I was there or not, I love when he doesen't have time for me and when he live me on read, sooo sexy, and when he takes two hours to reply a simple text message without no reason, and he replies me with a short, impersonal and boring text, I get so wet"
[–]TheStonedPharaoh 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ok cool so the advice here is “don’t text her too much, but don’t not text her too much, but be sure not to text her too much when you’re not texting her too much.”
Fuck this shit. Dating is goddamn tight rope walk. I don’t know what to do. Nothing makes sense.
[–]HoobaDooba420 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just set a date don’t text alot
[–]Koldwolf 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I did this and girl got upset and she told me she didn’t know if she’s interested. She seemed a bit hurt and I told her I’ll try and text more lol. It was the second date too.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just text and talk like you would do if you were in person with her, I don't know guys think that texting can turn the girl off, I never met a girl who said that to me before, all my friends like to talk with their guys, the only problem it's to maintain the conversation intresting, some guys tend to flirt too much, and if the girl wants a real connection she don't want a "😏😌" all the time, we just want to know how was your day and to see if you care about us too. If the girl it's not responding well or playing games, just say bye and go find a girl that would like your company. So simple
[–]dontcommentonmyname 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A lot of this advise is wrong. If you are matching with someone then that person is likely to have a similar style as you. If you love to send long texts about your day, well it would make sense that your match would also like to do that. Telling someone to just send quick hit flirty texts isnt going to hit the mark if youve got two shy but love texting intellectuals texting each other that want to know about each others day.
[–]spencesos 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel like I can relate. Started losing weight and started receiving more attention than I ever did. I suck at texting and afraid of losing them so I only plan dates while texting.
[–]redsealsparky 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If I where to give you one tip that's helped me: worry less about what exactly you say and more about how what your saying makes someone feel.
Bypass the texting and just directly ask them on a date.
I know you say they like to text but your just completely letting them dictate the terms by going along with only texting.
Suggest something fun to do, if they're interested they'll want to join.
I think it's better than sitting around texting and wondering if your saying the right things or not
[–]Koldwolf 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I usually just set up dates with girls and sparingly text them, I learned from exp that the mystery fades when we text all day
I’m talking to this girl who was upset with me because I didn’t text her for a day after setting our second date. Told her I was busy with work (I was) but she looked kind of hurt and she didn’t think I was interested. Not sure what to do with this one... ideas?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Talk to her, we don't want all this mystery all the time, the tension of the first time won't last forever. Maybe she don't want to play games and don't have patience for that, she just want a real connection and respect, it's tiring to be a ghost hunter. Nothing can turn off a woman more than a guy who doesen't show that he is intrested on her. We understand when guys are busy, we have a busy life too, but can you see the difference when he just desapear and she need to ask if he is still there and when he cares enough to say " hey, sorry for the delay, I had a very busy day, I just wanted to ask how was your day and wish you a good night", very different interpretation of the same situation.
[–]Koldwolf 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Thank you for your female perspective(I’m assuming you’re female) you have a good point about not wanting to be a ghost hunter. I’ll do better with responding but I really can’t sit and text her all day when I have things to do, I also don’t want to become a pen pal and be relegated to best friend status too. I’ll make more of an effort with her irregardless. Thanks again
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yes I am a female, but I do understand your point, you have your things to do, many guys just don't like to text( and this is something difficult for us to accept and to differentiate, we never know if he just don't like or if he doesen't like to text with us, even when he say with all the words" I don't like to text too much" we don't know if this is just an excuse). I don't know if this is what you are searching for but we don't text every day just with our friends, normally the person that you will talk more durring your day it's your partner, your long term relationship, he/she needs to be your best friend in the world, talking with her will lead you to intimacy, not to a friendzone, the other things that you and her will do will be the ones that will really define if this is a friendship intimacy or not.
[–]Koldwolf 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Hey a bit of a funny update, so I showed her more interest and responded more. And she’s ghosted me and stood me up on the date lol. This is the first time I’ve been ghosted too
I just find it hilarious that she would complain about me not communicating enough and I should tell her if I’m not interested and then proceed to ghost me.
In my opinion, her asking me to speak more was a test that I failed. I guess it seemed like I’m a push over. Please don’t take this the wrong way but this confirms to me that you don’t ask a fish how to catch them.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That's okey, but aren't you happy that you discovered that she is that way now that later? I mean, she ghosted you when you showed her interest, she would do the same later, no matter if you didn't showed it now. So do you regret of showing her that you care about her? What is the point of keeping a girl that do that?
[–]Koldwolf 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No, I’m not particular happy that a girl who told me communication is everything has now aired me. If I continued to not really care and focus more on myself I would have most likely have gotten laid, since the next date was at her flat.
She used me for free attention and I got nothing back, that’s just how life goes. I’m not bitter and That’s how life goes.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I see, the point was to get laid. I see, but she don't need to pay your attention with something, i know it needs to be mutual, but you should gave your attention because you want to, because you like her not to get laid. Anyway, I hope you will find someone better
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[–]JeanMeti_ore 23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]anaxianis 21 points22 points23 points (8 children) | Copy Link
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[–]StephenDawg 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]changy15 5 points6 points7 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]spencesos 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]awesomenesscoolguy 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]anaxianis 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]arjungmenon -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
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