Being Too Confident...becomes Cocky?

____---__-_ · 2014-11-10T17:28:26+00:00

Actually confidence and being cocky are the exact opposite.

Confidence is the result of being happy who you are and not doubting yourself. You'll come across cool, relaxed and attractive. You don't need to say "I'm cool" for people to know it.

Being cocky is the need of a constant reminder of how epic the things are you're doing. Constantly having to tell yourself and others how great you are. It's not confidence; it's neediness and girls see right through it.

TheJaguar77 · 2014-11-10T17:22:11+00:00

There's a difference between being confident and an arrogant asshole.

Also, being an arrogant asshole comes off as a defense mechanism - the subcommunication you're trying to emit is 'i'm too cool for you', but really reads 'i'm insecure, so i'm going to act like an asshole and blow you out before you blow me out'. Think about this next time you're on the fence about what you say, it can tell you a lot.

Models and 60 Years both talk about being confident, nice guys. These books helped me a lot with this issue.

SexySmexxy · 2014-11-10T17:43:06+00:00

If you're saying should you purposely be less confident to please other people... then no. I think it's funny how we've come full circle and people are now wanting to fake being less confident.

Anyways you're problem is you're probably being obnoxious and thinking that you're being "confident".

There is a fine line between confidence and obliviousness.

itsmevichet · 2014-11-10T17:53:27+00:00

Confidence is a lot less of a spectrum than other traits.

I mean, you can categorize confidence in specific things - like confident with business, confident with people, confident with whatever skill. But, you're either confident or you're not.

Now, I would say if your "confidence" is putting you into bad situations repeatedly, something else is going on. For example, if you're coming off as try-hard or arrogant, then it's probably because you're not confident that people are viewing you with respect.

It's actually hard to sound arrogant. Like, if you're chill and not trying to impress anyone, no one will think that of you.

DaygameCoach · 2014-11-10T18:15:22+00:00

You mean arrogant. You can be confident with arrogant.

lofiharvest · 2014-11-10T19:41:24+00:00

If you are getting negative responses to your brand of "confidence" it probably means you need to re-calibrate something. Coming on too strong or too cocky can sometimes come off as contrived and turn people off. Get the mix right and people will dig. Just last night I had a girl tell me ' I'm glad I met you. You can be a bit of dick,but its ok. Its acceptable (she then crack this big smiles). I then turn to my friend and say 'Dude, she just said my dick is acceptable. I like where this is going!' She smacks my shoulder and says 'stop it!'. We chit chat a bit more and I number close. Yes I was cocky and confident with her but I was also nice and gentle when it counted.

uhhthatguy · 2014-11-10T23:04:12+00:00

/u/____---__-_ said it relatively succinctly, I think. I'll try my hand at it as well. Confidence is being cool; cockiness is telling people you're cool.

PedophilePriest · 2014-11-10T18:11:04+00:00

Don't tone down your confidence, sounds to me like your flirting too much, try to being that down, talk instead of flirting, let your confident body language and smile do the seducing for you.

gexxx007 · 2014-11-10T20:24:57+00:00

Being a cocky fucker is all part of the game. Chicks dig an asshole.

Title	Being Too Confident...becomes Cocky?
Author	fries_and_gravy
Upvotes	2
Comments	9
Date	November 10, 2014 5:09 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2lvh0e/being_too_confidentbecomes_cocky/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/being-too-confidentbecomes-cocky.1379438 https://theredarchive.com/post/1379438

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