I have no problems getting matches on Hinge each week and I’m pretty specific when I plan a date. I give the day, time, and specific address. However, at the first sign of flakiness, I usually unmatch from the person, regardless of their profile or our ongoing conversations. It tends to happen in one of these three scenario:

  1. I ask the person on a date, and they reply “we’ll see” or “I might be free”. To me, that shows low interest. For these responses, I never try to follow up or clarify; I immediately unmatch. It’s even more confusing when someone stresses on their profile that they want their match to plan the date, but they struggle to commit to one planned.

  2. They suggest a date far into the future. I already have it specified in my profile that I’m not into texting, but I meet someone (who may not even be in my city yet) and they suggest meeting in a couple of months. I have no problems going on dates with tourists, but I’m not interested in holding an online connection for months to meet a stranger. I either suggest we be only friends or unmatch with them.

  3. It’s childish of me, but there’s a very specific phrase that irks me the most: “I’m very busy, but I’ll see if I can put you in my schedule.” I feel it’s a bit patronizing and tone-deaf a bit. We’re all adults with schedules; it’s just a matter of realizing that and respecting both of our time. Immediate unmatch.

I’m wondering if I’m being too harsh and how to better navigate these conversations. I’m somewhat satisfied with the dates I go on now, but I feel like there’s a possibility I’m missing out on experiences by being too quick to judge.