Ah, the Neg Hit. If it’s not the most controversial thing in the pickup community, then it’s in the top two. But, I think Negs get a bad reputation because a lot of people misunderstand what they are and how they work. It’d probably be best if the term was switched to Teasing. That’s basically what it is, and the term makes the meaning more intuitive. But, for this guide I’ll stick with Negs.

Anti-Supplication

A Neg is the polar opposite of supplication, and so to understand how Negs work, you need to understand what supplication is. I’m sure most of you do, but I’ll do a quick bit on it for anyone who doesn’t.

If you listen to your mom, she’ll tell you that you need to buy a girl a drink and tell her that she’s pretty. It’s the strategy used by every supplicating chump, essentially trying to buy her affection with gifts, attention, and praise. Easy to see why women would insist this is the way things should be done.

Unfortunately, supplication tells a woman two very bad things. First, that she doesn’t need to do anything to get stuff from you, which makes her think “Why buy the cow when you’ll buy the cow for me, and then I can go fuck that other farmer who’s better looking than you?” Second, it tells you that you’re beneath her, and coming from you she has no reason not to believe it. Game over.

If you’re extraordinarily attractive, like 1 in 10,000 good looking, confident, and social proofed out the wazoo, the dynamics are different. But for the rest of us scrubs, that’s how supplication works.

You are Equals

A Neg works in the exact opposite direction of supplication. Instead of telling a girl you just met how pretty she is, you tell her that maybe if she fixed her mascara you might be willing to be seen with her in public.

Some people think the purpose of the Neg is to bring her down. It’s not. It’s designed to tell her that you’re both on the same level, and your interaction is one between equals. (If you think you have to bring her down to your level, then you’ve got some Inner Game issues to work on.)

Being on equal footing is key. You do not want to come across as telling a girl that she’s beneath you. With the mascara example above, on the surface you’re telling her that her appearance is not up to your standards, but the subtext is that you really do find her attractive.

Lowering the Bitch Shield

In addition to putting you on equal footing, a Neg also serves to blast through her Bitch Shield. She’s been getting hit on by losers all night (and all her life), and is now just rejecting guys out of habit. By coming in with a Neg, you throw her off her game. Again, you’re not trying to bring her down; you’re trying to move her sideways.

Because you’ve come in with a novel approach, she can’t run her normal rejection script. Now she has to evaluate you as an individual, and not just part of the creepy masses. Plus, she’s less likely to try to reject you right away because she’s not even sure you’re hitting on her.

One potential hazard with trying to blast through a Bitch Shield is that she might not have one up. If she doesn’t, a Neg that hits too hard is going to have the effect of insulting her. Take a moment to observe her posture, how she’s dressed, the way she reacts to other guys around her, etc, before you go in guns blazing. And really, the safest thing to do is only Neg her once she’s done something to deserve it, such as run a Shit Test on you.

Disqualifying Yourself

The last thing a Neg does is it disqualifies you. It’s not the normal thing a guy does when he’s interested in a girl, so it sends to her the message that you’re not interested. If she thinks you’re not trying to hook up with her, then she’s not looking for a reason to reject you. That gives you a chance to stay in set longer and build attraction.

The hard part with disqualifying yourself is that the majority of approaches are pretty transparent. You typically don’t approach someone you’re not interested in, and she knows it. So, if you’re planning to use a Neg, you’re going to need an indirect approach. I’m not going to go too much into indirect approaches here, but I’ll give you two possibilities:

Approaching her friend. This is pretty old school technique: open the friend, rather than the target. Then wait for the target to try to extend her Bitch Shield to her friend, and fire off the Neg you’ve been saving for her.

Using natural proximity. You happen to be near each other on the dance floor, or are getting a drink from the bar at the same time. Basically you’re interacting by accident, not because you’ve approached her.

Who to Neg and How Much

Some guys learn about Negs and then go firing them off in all directions. That doesn’t make you a pickup guru, it just makes you an asshole. Remember, the purpose of a Neg is to declare yourself as equals and to throw her off her game. This is appropriate for a 10 with a stick up her ass who’s used to shooting down guys left and right. It’s not appropriate to Neg a normal, nice 7. Your comment isn’t going to come across as a witty tease, it’s going to come across as an insult.

Save Negs for 9s and 10s. Or more exactly: Save them for girls who think they’re 9s and 10s. There are 7s out there who think they’re the Queen B, and there are 10s that aren’t particularly confident.

As for how many times to Neg, I know that Mystery recommends never going over 3, but I think it’s rare you’ll ever need more than 1. You have to play it by ear though. If she’s opening up and talking to you like a normal human being, put the rest of your Negs away.

If she responds to you with a Shit Test though, put another Neg in the chamber and take aim.

Reversing Direction

After you’ve teased her a bit and gotten her to qualify herself to you, the final step is to reverse course: Pay her a genuine compliment. To her, a compliment from any random beta chode is worthless; they hand out compliments to anyone, and no one has to work for them. But from you, the guy who’s been teasing her, the compliment will feel like a reward she fought hard to earn. It’s not supplication if she earns it.

A Few Examples

Nice nails, are they real?

I think I saw some girls with more ridiculous shoes here, but you’re definitely in the top 2/5/10/whatever number makes sense based on the size of the venue.

I like your shoes, they look really comfortable.

With that wit, it’s a good thing you’re pretty.

You blink a lot.

You’re too much of a nice girl for me.

In one more drink I’ll be ready to hit on you.

You’re such a Miranda/Charlotte. (Use Miranda for a girl who thinks she’s hotter than she is and mistakes being a bitch with being strong. Use Charlotte for a classically pretty and very judgmental and prudish.)

My personal favorite: You must be a law student/lawyer.

[Edit: A comment asked about tips for creating your own Negs, and I think there's really one rule that will do most of the heavy lifting for you: Look for things the girl is probably not actually self conscious about. Fake nails are safe territory; the shape of her nose - not so much.]

If you found this helpful, you'll probably also like Billy's Guide to Approach Anxiety and Billy's Guide to Kissing the Girl