Blown Off After Second Date Unexpectedly - Why Does it Happen?

norwegiandoggo · 2022-03-19T12:45:00+00:00

Break down:

You didn't escalate enough. No kiss at all even on the second date? Too slow. You should take more risk and show you're interested. Even if she rejects your kiss it will help.
You want to get married. She doesn't = potential dealbreaker for her.
You want children, she's ambivalent = potential dealbreaker for her.
You're spending too much money on the dates. This changes the dynamic to being more transactional.
You just went for drinks both dates? Change it up. Include food, some activity, venue changes etc.

Shadow__Account · 2022-03-19T12:26:40+00:00

It could be plenty of things, there clearly wasn’t that much attraction going on. So she might be quite mature actually in not wanting to hurt you instead of just keeping you around because she enjoys the connection you guys have. Her ex that she shares a past with might have contacted her, she might have had 5 other dates with one where there was more attraction. Could be many things. Fact is you are overinvested and that usually radiates. I have been there several times, where our rational brain doesn’t understand why if we’re having such a good time, someone would end that. Also people have issues, some people will Self Sabotage and aren’t ready for healthy relationships, so many possible reasons. I just invest less in the outcome with new people, enjoy myself and accept whatever happens. When you meet women x in a couple of months that is all over you on date one and you have a great time with you can put things in perspective and realize this wasn’t meant to be and saved you pain hurt and effort and it doesn’t really matter why exactly.

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-03-19T15:23:08+00:00

i've had girls blow me off after they made out with me and asked me when our next date is haha, they just have millions of options and we got what? maybe 3 haha

ReorgAtty · 2022-03-19T16:37:21+00:00

Are you considering that maybe you’ve conflated your feelings for her with her feelings for you? Sometimes you like someone and have a good time and just assume the other person is feeling the same way. And since you like her, you subtly act in different ways which prompts her to respond in such a way that you assume she likes you the same.

I’ve been there. It’s hard to guard against.

BatBottleBank · 2022-03-19T11:32:18+00:00

Not attractive enough. They like your personality and they want to see if attraction will develop, but it didn’t.

No-Department6252 · 2022-03-20T13:57:27+00:00

The real question is why do you care so much? She’s just a girl.

klippklar · 2022-03-19T14:59:18+00:00

By this "short" paragraph alone I can tell it's your personality, that you're quite possibly a nice guy and that you're not at all open to advice but rather want to be confirmed in your beliefs that women are stupid for not wanting a glorious guy like you.

kanyesbathroommirror · 2022-03-19T16:09:37+00:00

It's not her, it's you. You choose to live in one of the most populous cities on Earth where dating is extremely difficult. Getting angry doesn't change the fact that a woman on a first or second date owes you nothing. The more you stew in your anger, the more you're going to give off vibes of neediness and desperation.

MattPruga · 2022-03-19T12:12:28+00:00

50 bucks is pretty expensive for drinks, too much for a first date

SoulRebel99 · 2022-03-19T12:27:27+00:00

The real question is why don't you have replacements ready. Be more ruthless about cutting shit out that doesn't work for you.

cass2769 · 2022-03-19T15:08:22+00:00

I’m sorry this happened to you. My read is that this woman was a great actor. I’m sure she had a nice time on both dates but my gut is that she didn’t have quite as good a time on the first date as maybe you thought. I think she liked you and the attention and maybe she was looking for some validation herself. The second date was prob also good but just not as good as it was for you. And then being in different pages when it comes to kids/marriage probables helped her decide it was not a good fit.

Personally I don’t see any harm asking her nicely via text if there is something you missed. Say something like “I usually have a good read on people so I was kind of surprised that you didn’t want to go out again. Would you be willing to tell me what I may have missed”

It’s also worth thinking about where she is in her life. Especially is she’s newly single sometimes the timing is just off. If she got out of a long term thing she might not be looking for the same thing yiu are.

Title	Blown Off After Second Date Unexpectedly - Why Does it Happen?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	11
Comments	24
Date	March 19, 2022 11:27 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tht8mj/blown_off_after_second_date_unexpectedly_why_does/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/blown-off-after-second-date-unexpectedly-why-does.1264207 https://theredarchive.com/post/1264207

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