Cold approach beginner

OpinionThink481 · 2025-11-02T20:49:31+00:00

Well, your problem is that you don't seem to understand that you have to carry the conversation when you cold approach.

You are just giving compliments and asking if they have a boyfriend, they give the answer and now it's on you to continue assuming they say "no i am single".

Like of course most girls are not gonna take responsibility for the conversation that you started yourself since it's you who has something to say or else why start the conversation?

Whoever starts the conversation has the obligation to carry 80% of it at least during the first 5 minutes. So be curious about her, so tell them from the beginning that you want to get to know them because you think they are cute, and ask them:

What she does in her life, what she studies, what she does for a living, how she feels about it, how do you relate to her, what was she doing before you approach her, how she feels doing it, how she feels about her day, how has her experienced being like so far in her studies or her career or job.

What is it that she likes to do when she has free time? What is her experience with meeting new people like?Share anecdotes, make comments, give opinions, share perspectives, state your beliefs and values about life, ask her how she feels about it, tell her you want to see her again, ask for her number, or invite her to have a coffee somewhere close on the spot.

Cold approach require you to open up and have things to talk about, not expect her to make the conversation for you because the context of cold approaching a stranger requires you to talk more than on other settings.

Few_Competition_1989 · 2025-11-02T22:19:13+00:00

They stay silent because they have no business talking to you (you're the stranger approaching).

So keep talking. Eventually she will make a decision.

If you do it well and you display properly why you're attractive and she's open to meet a guy she will engage. If not, she will reject you.

Alarmed_Box1198 · 2025-11-02T21:26:10+00:00

Stop asking if they have a boyfriend and honestly even the compliments aren't necessary unless they are truly genuine and unique. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and just have a normal conversation that you take control of. What is said is far less important than how it's said. The vibe is what women will respond to either positively or negatively. Do not ask questions that you can't answer yourself and add to.

CHINO-HILL · 2025-11-03T15:26:06+00:00

u could just follow them home instead

Accomplished-Pen7695 · 2025-11-03T19:09:02+00:00

My approach has always been get in and get out it should take less than a minute. Women pre select men all the time just how we pre select women so shoot your shot in the form of ask her name and introducing yourself and than ask for number that’s it nothing more nothing less she’s either going to give it to you or she’s not if she doesn’t want to give it to you just leave and don’t say nothing.

LetsHaveFunBeauty · 2025-11-02T21:50:16+00:00

What about just talking to her instead of complementing her?

Accomplished-Pen7695 · 2025-11-03T19:04:41+00:00

By far the newbie approach we’ve all been there I wouldn’t compliment nor ask if she has a boyfriend. She’s single just depending who’s asking. She’s tired of compliments she wants indifference.

SamuelNMEvander · 2025-11-02T22:09:34+00:00

If you're bad at it, do what I did & just consume game content, make notes & ask topics / liners from chatGPT.

I've developed an anatomy of an approach: Openers / Fluff / Closers.

So, with an opener you're trying to get their attention & getting to the point. The easiest part because you're letting them know that you're into them. No need to ask for their boyfriends because they'll just tell you if they do have a boyfriend.

"Hey/excuse me (grab her attention first), I think you're interesting & thought I'd say hi. Soo... does a pretty miss have a name?" etc etc...

Fluff is the most challenging part & the meat of the approach. Generally, the rule of thumb is some flirting + getting to know her. And some general topics you could be talking about. Weather & stuff. I think that the ability to pull some convos out of thin air is called "Free associating." You'll just have to develop it by just talking to people. Chat some cashiers. They're there for customer service. Even if you're annoying them, it helps your nervous system to process conversation flows. Ask chatGPT topics & write them down. When you memorize & practice conversations, you'll become a natural at it. Just give it some time. Remember to keep the conversation man-to-woman:

"You seem like a woman who can enjoy a nice compliment ;)"

(You can be more direct "You're so fucking beautiful" But a strong sexual intent is just clumsy premise/intent can both stimulate a woman but the personality of the girl & mood of the convo determines how they'll react to it. But generally you'll want to seek ways to stimulate women)

Closers are when you have to seal-the-deal before the conversation gets too drawn out & awkward. You'll always want to direct the conversation & not aimlessly talk to girls hoping that they're just DTF so that you don't have to move the conversation forward or escalate. So just ask her out.

"You seem like a cool chick. Let's grab a bite some time. What's your insta/number?"

Stick to the anatomy of the approach & refine its contents and you'll always know what to do. I suggest keeping an index in your notebook so that you'll get your groove on!

One more thing, if you ever catch a girl staring, you replace the opener with a reaction "Hey, you seem to have noticed me so I thought I'd come talk to you / introduce myself. A good rule of thumb with openers/reactions is to comment on her or what you're doing so you can slide into a conversation with a girl that makes sense.

Title	Cold approach beginner
Author	mohsenkhzy
Upvotes	8
Comments	9
Date	November 2, 2025 8:33 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1oms2dt/cold_approach_beginner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/cold-approach-beginner.1565567 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565567

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