Dating multiple women

HappyJerk · 2013-11-25T16:46:39+00:00

1- Depends on what you mean by "successfully" - I mean, yeah I've done it. 2-3 at the most, sometimes getting up to 4. Hard to make those last though, its a lot easier when you stick to 1-2.

2- I didn't talk about who the other girls were, but I never hid the fact that I wasn't being exclusive.

3- It's a lot of time and can get expensive. If you want to see each of them once a week (which isn't a lot) that means 3 of your nights are booked, at least. That's just too much of a sacrifice for most people to make, especially if you have other stuff going on. It also takes a lot of work to remember all the shit they say. I actually said to a girl once "were you the girl that really liked jazz?" I think the biggest problem is that if you can't meet girls often enough they will start to think you're disinterested and slowly drift away. I also think one girl dumped me because I just wasn't remembering enough shit that she told me.

4- Ideally, you would be doing 1-2 at a time, and those would be girls that aren't interested in having anything serious and/or didn't like you all that much. Once a girl wants to start getting serious its really hard to juggle multiple girls, unless you want to just devote your entire life to dating girls. Also, girls are a lot smarter than you think, they will eventually figure it out.

puaCurveBall · 2013-11-25T19:54:05+00:00

6
Always be open with the girls.
Not having enough time to myself. Too much sex.
If it is what you want, go for it. Everyone has different goals and you shouldn't adopt other people's views on it being a hassle or recommendations.

slackwaresupport · 2013-11-25T15:42:56+00:00

yes. about 4-5
some, most no
others calling when you are with another
not really worth the hassle, treat it as test driving multiple cars. date several, and when you find one you really click with and like, dump the rest.

strppngynglad · 2013-11-25T23:28:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

kingcal · 2013-11-26T02:51:09+00:00

I wouldn't say I dated girls exactly, but we were fucking. Some were a bit more intimate than others. Some girls I'd spend time with outside my bed, some I wouldn't. For awhile I was usually seeing two girls at the same time, sometimes three.
I was completely open. I gave them as many details as they wanted. All of them knew that I wasn't keeping things exclusive. Some girls wouldn't want to know more and we'd leave it at that. Some would ask questions about who I was seeing when and what we did. I was honest about everything.
Time and money are the two biggest hurdles. You can cut the money problem out by not taking them on dates. After one or two "dates", it would essentially turn into them just coming to my apartment to fuck. If you don't want a girlfriend don't treat them like one. Time is very similar, but the more girls you are seeing, obviously the harder it is to see all of them within a reasonable time frame. If she's cool only seeing you every two weeks, that's fine, but I generally preferred to see girls once a week, so I generally cut it down to two girls at the same time.
Being able to have sex and still look for other women was a very liberating experience. I like to think I still treated the women well. I did not deceive them in any way, and they all had the choice to leave me whenever they became uncomfortable with the situation. Most importantly, having relationships that I knew would be pretty short, it taught me what I really wanted in a relationship. The girls were all good people, but they didn't have that something. We could have fun for awhile, but I knew it wouldn't last. Then, when I finally met a special girl, I knew it right away. I stopped seeing other girls immediately and just wanted to be with only her. When I had less experience dating, I didn't know exactly what I wanted and I got into serious relationships too quickly, and that shit got messy quick.

Herr_Lich · 2013-11-25T19:12:56+00:00

I assume most if not all of you are American. Can you comment on social expectations where you are? I dated an American girl once. Started doing it while I was dating another girl (only for 1-2 weeks at that point), and I felt guilty even going on a date with the second one. Broke it off with No 1 right after the first date with No 2. When No 2 brought up the topic of exclusivity I was surprised because in my mind we were exclusive after the first date (after getting physical).

I think where I live now (Germany) it's uncommon to date multiple women and they'd probably flip their shit if they found out.

InfiniteBlink · 2013-11-25T19:38:36+00:00

The most I've had concurrent was 3.

Didn't tell them about each other, but kept an air of causality about it so they wouldn't get mislead.

It's expensive given the juggling. I'm a drinks and light apps guy and that usually costs 55-75 depending on where I go. Then as it gets a little more involved a dinner @100+.

Remembering specific stuff gets hard especially if you tend to go out and have dinner drinks.

Making sure to clean or hide condom wrappers.

I've been busted by a friend of one of the girls for being out with another girl. Not directly confronted while I was out but she told her.

I recommend it for only shallow purposes. Just to tell yourself that you've made it to the point where numerous girls like you intimately. Like I said, it's super shallow and eventually it collapses due to being too noncomital.

It's a good way to figure our which girl you like if you make sure to not string them along forever.

I did that with one girl who i ended up getting some feels for, strung her along for too long and she got sick of my shit. We've been on and off for a year. I should have picked her but too late now cuz once a chick doesn't trust you anymore you might as well give it up. They never forget and your relationship will fail in the future with fights

hotvision · 2013-11-25T20:29:53+00:00

Im currently dating two and, while nice and certainly more success than ive ever had, the shits getting expensive. Im scowering the earth for cheap date ideas, went to the museum yesterday which was good. But typically were talking 50$ a pop...one of the girls will pay for things and thats great, i pay for the movie she gets the popcorn, for example.

I am trying to limit it to just 1-2, while prioritizing one over the other in the event that you have to choose. A lot of time and money however. I tried cutting out other things, such as drinking with my homies, and i dont have a problem with that if Im dating. Good luck, these are good problems to have.

Boris-the-cat · 2013-11-27T17:56:44+00:00

A recursive theme I'm seeing here is the issue of expense in dating multiple women. Does no one cook anymore. Wine-ing and dining a girl is a way better DOV then dropping 80$ on snacks and drinks in my opinion. Pick a few good dishes and practice mastering them. Pick something obscure, ethnic and interesting. Meet up with your date, visit a butcher, grocer and beer and wine store . Make educated choices, demonstrate what you know about food. Then head home and whip up that dish you know like the back of your hand. You are less likely to run into other girls you are dating, or their friends. You'll spend a lot less over time. You'll be eating healthier, and it's an amazing life skill.

ML00211 · 2013-11-25T18:21:10+00:00

I am currently dating two women (one for about two and a half months, and one for about four weeks, she's my favorite) and may be going on a date with another tomorrow, she may or may not be added to the rotation.

I'm forensic with my cleanup and even then sometimes I miss shit. Clean up your bed, different hair etc is a pain. Even the smell can be your downfall.
You can't be lazy at all, just yesterday I pushed one of my girls out the door and went to the gym, and at the gym, I texted the other one and she came to meet me at the gym and we went home together. If I had left anything out, it would've been suicide. One day, I accidentally left my condom box on the bed next to the pillow when it should've been inside. She got jealous, I got hot sex.
I keep their stuff in different, unused drawers/cabinets and never mix them up. However, as you get deeper into a relationship, they'll snoop more. Be warned.
I've invented friends to hang out with. This is dodgy territory, getting into cheating but I feel this is the safest way to avoid a relationship-ending blowup because if she asks, I'm not gonna lie.
I have my favorite, and she's the one I hang with on the weekends. I am only keeping both going so I can choose her when the inevitable "relationship/exclusivity" talk comes and if she floats away for some reason, I'm not left celibate.
I take both of them out, but it's a regular thing so we alternate paying - I don't pay all the time. They cook at my place too, we cook together (not all 3). My roommates are in on it, but they are also getting a bit jealous because I always have company.

All that said, it is awesome for your frame to have multiple things going, and I recommend it fully. You have to brook absolutely no shit from any one girl and they all know it. Does wonders for your frame.

joshsway · 2013-11-25T16:38:55+00:00

You need to define "date" before we can really answer this well.

Title	Dating multiple women
Author	YankeeTripper
Upvotes	11
Comments	16
Date	November 25, 2013 3:39 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rf71n/dating_multiple_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dating-multiple-women.1362082 https://theredarchive.com/post/1362082

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