Woman asking Men: Tips on keeping seduction going in long term relationship?

LoveTeasingUs · 2022-10-20T19:09:59+00:00

Older male here, so factor that in.

Sex is really communication. Yes, he/she has a great ____ and does _____ like life depends on it, but after the urge to procreate, a partner is truly a partner if both of you open up and share with each other.

First, not all men are the same (and you know that, because not all women are the same). But humans have a few things in common, and being understood, part of a group, and accepted are the big ones.

Second, you're not a loaf of bread - and if you are, I'm sure scientists want to talk to you to figure out how a loaf of bread can post online. Something can only "go stale" if it never changes, develops or grows. You are not the same as you were 10 years ago, and you won't be the same person tomorrow you are today.

Are you going to take that journey through time with him? Are you going to open up, be vulnerable, ask real questions, really fucking listen, forgive him and yourself, celebrate wins, support him when he needs it and accept the same from him?

If so, there's no way the physical element of your relationship won't thrive. Think of it this way - you will be fucking *him*, not his just his body.

People are attracted to people who are real, honest, and present. Yes, when we are younger, a great _____ might cause us to cross the street or approach someone. But after that, it's up to the two humans to connect.

DontCallMeTopher · 2022-10-20T19:42:30+00:00

Enthusiastic blow jobs go a long way

novasolid64 · 2022-10-20T22:43:42+00:00

I see a lot of bullshit on here, I'll be real simple people that are together for a long time Get complacent. Don't get complacent and as much as you want to fuck him he can't get complacent either. He's got to have to want to fuck you. It's 100% both parties, not 100%. You 50% him both 100%. And people think getting old and being fat and happy is the way life should be when you're in a relationship and it's the exact opposite The longer you're in a relationship, the harder it is. There is no such thing as being fat and happy, You do that. You get sick of each other and then you move on.

Normal-Confection145 · 2022-10-20T19:21:31+00:00

Just show up and be enthusiastic

monkey36937 · 2022-10-20T23:12:10+00:00

Having reviews on how the relationship is going and what to improve on. Both of you better be good at taking criticism and improve on it.

pandigroove · 2022-10-21T00:06:12+00:00

Someone mentioned the coolidge effect already. A way you can use that is through changing your look through clothing/makeup/hair if you and your SO are comfortable with that. Many possibilities, only limited by your creativity.

pikecat · 2022-10-21T01:53:31+00:00

Sometimes the idea that you can do it any time you want, is the problem. As it doesn't actually get something on your to do list done, so it gets left until last.

The top comment says a lot.

I do concur with the intellectual intimacy. Knowing people at the deepest level makes you feel closer, and like shagging again. No matter how deep you go, there's always another level further down.

As for things that you can do to revive stale sex, it mostly in the mind too, but in a different way. In general, introduce new activities and ways into your sex life. What secret desires does each have that they've been afraid to tell about. Getting to try your secret desires really works.

When it comes to the things that do what you want, it will be different for different guys. Some things that have worked with various girls: follow your guy into the bathroom, do it there, do it the bosses chair, etc. Watch porn together. One girl liked to go to strip clubs. When you go out in a dress, go commando. Set weekly or monthly goals, like at least once a day for a month, or twice a day.

Sex is a bit like a self fulfilling prophecy, the more you have, the more you want it.

punkman01 · 2022-10-21T03:27:24+00:00

My lovely wife and I have been married for over 40 happy years. We have been pretending for years that we are having an affair. It's just low level silly stuff but fun. We have lots of fun with this. But it's just a part answer to your question. The bigger thing for us is knowing each other's love languages and acting on it deliberately. But the biggest answer is to show deliberate love and respect.

iamchrismarley · 2022-10-21T05:19:22+00:00

We’ve had a lot of luck learning about and experimenting with masculine feminine roles… trying them more extreme as well as swapping

sinhaanip · 2022-10-21T10:19:08+00:00

People have already suggested about deep communication and other deeper stuff so I’ll take a different path…

Experiment sexually Which means - Hot wax, handcuffs, whips etc. Go along that thread.

bocank · 2022-10-20T19:10:44+00:00

Everybody gets bored especially in your age group - i don't think you can do anything about it no matter what you do - a "normal" person seeks "new" experiences no matter what you tell yourself .....

artemis_irelia · 2022-10-21T07:06:12+00:00

Suck his dick.

You are underestimating how simple men are.

Ok-Marionberry-8669 · 2022-10-21T02:22:43+00:00

How long has it been since you appreciated your partner?

xTarkus · 2022-10-21T15:01:10+00:00

go jim

DrinksAreOnTheHouse · 2022-10-21T17:27:34+00:00

This is going to sound silly, but us guys are actually quite simple. We get turned on but confidence, tight bodies, sexy outfits, and spontaneity. Despite what people say that guys are "dogs", the good news is that we can be loyal like dogs, too. But truth is guys also have a tendency to want "fresh and new", too. My suggestion is: step your game up a little in terms of self-improvement. These things do not need to be dramatic changes. He already loves you for you.

Its about a small tweaks -- spend more time in the gym where one day the change is just a little more....."noticeable". Your stomach is flatter, tighter ass, legs stronger, etc. Get some new clothing. Clothes that are fresh, sexier. Maybe a slightly new hair style with maybe subtle highlights. Very important: Don't go too far. Don't do anything that isn't genuinely YOU. He just needs to see you with fresh eyes.

Again, he already loves you for YOU so don't think you need to become a different person. Just upgrade certain parts and turn on the charm a little bit. That's my suggestion.

Title	Woman asking Men: Tips on keeping seduction going in long term relationship?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	56
Comments	65
Date	October 20, 2022 7:00 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/y96qyj/woman_asking_men_tips_on_keeping_seduction_going/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/woman-asking-men-tips-on-keeping-seduction-going.1248040 https://theredarchive.com/post/1248040

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