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[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Getting to know her first is a good start! Most my relationships with other girls started as friends and the feelings sort of came after!
[–]npossoesquecer 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That’s a good idea!!
Every time I’ve been with a girl it happened like that, I was just a little hesitant bc (maybe it’s just me but) things tend to escalate really fast between girls when it’s about feelings.
Anyways, I’ll try that and if something goes wrong I’ll drop out law school lol
[–]bogues04 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do you know if she is straight? That’s the first thing you need to figure out. Ask her about guys she is dating. You just probably need to feel it out a little. If she asks you that would be a good time to talk about your sexuality.
[–]Matt_Bigmonster 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It sounds like you are just too scared to make your move. The only thing you can do is to shoot your shot. Go there and say "you make me shy as hell but I was wondering if we could go for a coffee sometimes together".
At least you will know is she interested.
[–]npossoesquecer 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ur totally right, I hope I don’t faint or anything
[–]Matt_Bigmonster 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good luck, it gets easier every time. And after a bit it starts to be a lot of fun.
[–]grindforthegold 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“hey do you know what’s due for next class Oh thanks this professor is a pain/great right Where did you go to school? (Personal questions chat)
Wanna grab a bite with me after class , waiting for a friend but they told me they’re gonna take forever Go from there… look for signals… escalate… we should hang out again , have you ever kissed a girl etc etc , come over my crib let’s chill , if she gives you signs go for a kiss etc.
Mind you, there’s a reason there’s a whole sub for his. Seducing women isn’t easy, and will rely on a spectrum of your looks / status, as well as your situation like this one (maybe she’s not into girls).
So very hard to give you everything you need here, and it takes a lot of time and practice to get it down like most successful men here. But basically be indirect, build comfort, look for signals, strike while iron is hot
[–]Matt_Bigmonster 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
My ex was bisexual and I was teaching her how to pickup girls. It's the same as "straight" pickup just a little more subtle. Todd V dating on youtube have a good clear system. Down and dirty guide:
At the end of the day you just have to aproach, communicate your intentions in a civilised way and try to create feelings in her. Everything else is beyond your controll.
[–]npossoesquecer 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I’ll practice in the mirror this whole weekend I hope I don’t faint or anything
[–]desal 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
she might find your fainting to be cute
[–]npossoesquecer 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m counting on it!
[–]epimpstyle 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well.... before the first step you must go near to her ... so, do you actually dare to go near to her and say the "opener" ? :-)
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
If your interested, yeah you can start a friendship, but if they don't feel the same way.. You won't know. So yeah be cool, but also put yourself out there.
Rejection is part of what we do here.
[–]npossoesquecer 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It feels like the safest option, I’ll try it!!
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're going to be great. Wishing you the best.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
33F, bi, here. I guess since you use a hello kitty shirt, you can't be very old... But I guess youngsters need advice just as much.
If she laughs at your jokes and compliments your clothes, that's a great sign - of friendliness, I mean. Maybe she wants to be your friend. You have to be ready to face refusal on her end if you are going to play this game, because unfortunately most women are not bi/lesbian. However, as teenagers and early 20's, quite many women are surprisingly open minded to try things with other girls to find out what their actual sexuality is.
But all of my relationships with other girls always started as being friends first, so...
Try to be friendly with her first. Don't make too sudden moves with anything romantic. Slowly, so that you won't scare her away. Try to get to know her. Ask her if she wants to grab lunch/coffee/soda what ever with you between classes or after school. Ask her questions about herself and tell things about you. Find her likes and dislikes. Her hobbies, her music taste, her favorite books etc.
If you know any lgbtq+ friendly TV shows, or celebrities etc, try asking does she follow any of those - this is the sneaky way to sniff if she is supporting of lgbtq+ things or interested in it. Ask her does she have a boyfriend, has she ever had a boyfriend, does she like any boys at the school or elsewhere. If she is completely not interested in guys, that's also kinda telling. After you have known her for longer, you can start asking does she like girls perhaps... But don't do that too soon.
Try to hang out with her out of school. Go to movies, eat at a burger or pizza place, have a picnic etc.
Try touching her little by little to see where her limits are. Safe zone with humans to touch is arms. After that her upper back. Then her hair. Try to get her to hug you at some point for goodbyes etc. For young women it's usually safe to jokingly slap each other's butts, kiss on the cheeks, holding hands etc, but only after knowing her for longer. If she doesn't mind at all to touch you, that's always a nice sign.
Try to get touchy feely and see where your young hormones take you two. But remember; slowly. Don't force her into anything she is clearly not ready or willing.
These are all terrific suggestions.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't know if dropping your pen and bending over to pick it up in front of her will work or not, but worth a try I guess?
Welcome to a man’s life 😂🤣
[–]atomant88 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
game is not gendered. just do what youd do with anyone else.
[–]npossoesquecer 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I personally don’t think so, it’s soooo much easier with guys… girls are scary
[–]atomant88 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
that doesnt change the rules of the game
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Game is definitely gendered. Women on average react differently to women than to men and vice versa.
[–]atomant88 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
the flow is the same, all the principles are the same. make the approach, signal intent, build intimacy, escalate with consent. it doesnt change based on gender
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
"Making the approach" is different in that the base level of comfort between two random women is on average going to be higher than between a woman and a strange man.
For similar reasons, "signaling intent" will be even more important since you're kind of slipping under the radar, so you can't get away with being as indirect, unless perhaps if you're already in an LGBT space and the assumptions are different.
Of course people are more similar than they're different, but people change according to life experience and adapt to their environment, which generally makes "it's all simple and the same" too simplistic to be applicable.
[–]atomant88 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I'm masc presenting. I've never had issues approaching femmes, even outside of queer spaces. It's the same steps either way. Just tailored to your presentation and your environment. But that's true regardless of gender.
Different men will have different presentations, some are tall, some are short, some have a very specific style, you always have to tailor your approach. Its not gendered thing.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Just tailored to your presentation
Exactly. If you "present" as one gender, you have to "tailor" your approach to your gender and the gender you're trying to attract.
Of course there are other factors involved; that doesn't mean that gender isn't a factor, just that it interacts with other variables (height, style, social context etc.).
I'm masc presenting. I've never had issues approaching femmes
Why is this relevant? I never claimed that "all men have issues approaching women". I said that the base level of comfort is higher between female strangers than between male and female strangers (and for good reason, because men statistically can be a source of danger). You're probably good at building comfort if you approach lots of women and never have issues.
The fact is that in the real world men and women are generally perceived differently.
[–]atomant88 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
sure. but again; it doesnt change the steps in your approach. make the approach, signal intent, build intimacy, escalate with consent. thats game, and it works the same way regardless of gender.
a small nerdy cis male, will have a different approach compared to a tall muscular cis male who is in the gym every free hour doing MMA. but their flow will be the same. and they might be more different from one another than they would be from someone of another gender (like an NB, or a tomboy )
Yes. It depends on what level of detail you're looking at and which variables you choose to highlight. I found your initial comment too simplistic for a beginner to game, especially for someone who doesn't really know the process (OP doesn't seem to have much experience signaling intent or approaching at all given the level of fear of rejection they have). What you're saying now makes sense.
[–]CocoBabeNYC 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When she sits behind you, turn to her and say "You always sit behind me, are you just checking out my butt?"
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]Sure-Wish3240 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Girl on girl is the long game. First captivate a friend than get intimate and Hope she enjoys licking carpet as much as she likes having her carpet licked.
[–]may-begin-now 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Practice in the mirror and just be you.
[–]fuzzy_brb 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just grab a baseball bat and hit it on her.
I think that’s a crime but I’m not sure
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And you’re certain that she’s gay, or at least bi? Maybe start out platonically. I get the feeling that you’re in high school. Ask her if she would like to go to Starbucks or a McDonald’s.
I’m pretty sure she’s not straight, but I’ll definitely go for a friendly approach!
I usually start with "hey scissor sister!" Usually does the trick
“Gosh you’re so attractive! I totally would make out with you right now 😆” that would work for any girl really 😂
[–]bojack1011 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Prolly just talk to her say hello or some chit idk
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[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]npossoesquecer 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]Matt_Bigmonster 11 points12 points13 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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