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[–]CompetitionFair7686 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
You are not trying to go for a kiss on the first date, that’s what you do wrong. You are in a date dude, it doesn’t matter that it’s the first one, you are still supposed to make her feel desired, wanted,… etc
You are not supposed to act like a good friend which is what happens when you don’t go for a kiss or don’t flirt more sexually.
She isn’t there to be your friend. You should not play it so safe. You need to create excitement and fire, that’s what “vibe” means.
When they don’t feel the vibe what they are saying is that you were not making them feel desired you didn’t build sexual tension, heck you didn’t even try to kiss her.
So they think “well, I guess he is not into me and i didn’t feel anything so maybe we should just be friends”
Even if a girl says i don’t kiss in the first date, you still need to go for it, because you are not supposed to be adapting to her usual rules, you are supposed to get her excited enough that she wants to break those rules she has imposed on herself. She wants you to be the exception to the rule.
. Not just casually hang out with her like she is your sister or something.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
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[–]focus_flow69 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just because you kiss her doesn't meant you lost your mystery. Kiss her always on first dates. It shows you are bold and confident enough to do so which is attractive, and also shows you desire her sexually, which is what gets women juices running.
Following that logic, every time you bone a chick she will lose interest in you because you revealed your hand. How much sense does that make?
[–]CompetitionFair7686 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Showing interest doesn’t make you lose value, you just have to make sure she has earned that interest. That’s the qualification process which is when you entice the girl to prove her worth to you, entice her ti impress you so that when she does that you reward her with your interest.
Similar to how you would train your dog to do impressive stuff so that you reward your dog with cookies.
If she feels like she has had to work for it, if she feels like she has earned it, if she feels like your interest in her is justified you don’t lose value, in fact it builds value because you are showing her that you have high standards and that you don’t just go for the first pretty girl who has nothing else that stands out about them other than the fact that they are pretty
So it’s not about getting her to feel like she isn’t sure whether you are interested or not, it’s about making sure that whatever interest to escalate things with her, she has earned it
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You need to study qualification process in seduction.
It’s basically evaluating her, trying to see what her traits are, her virtues, asking her to do you favours and rewarding her if she complies, telling her what you like in a woman other than her looks to see if she says she is that kind of woman.
Basically what women do with men, but in this case you reverse those roles. You can google it
Basically being a challenge to get. You need to raise your standards.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Nah. It’s easy and doesn’t take long. Women are already doing it with you in those dates. You can google “Qualification seduction”, or read the wiki on this subs menu.
It’s all about asking her questions, doing shit tests to her, and rewarding her every time she qualifies herself.
The goal is to get her to see that you don’t just go for her because she is pretty, but because based on your conversations you have found out that she is smart, funny, ambitious, emphatic, adventurous, or whatever traits she has proven to have, and that’s what makes her sexy for you.
In seduction, your goal is to get her to talk about herself in a positive way, where she is the one trying hard to impress you. Rather than you trying to impress her.
If you need further clarification, you are just gonna have to go on youtube or google and research yourself on your own for “qualification and seduction”
[–]Commercial_Habit_923 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is great advice and I think it will help me as well. Thanks
[–]blck_bstinson 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
If you can kiss or take it further on the first date don’t hold yourself back as a rule. Especially on dates off tinder. You’re both there to have fun and leas the interaction towards something.
When she’s talking make sure to lean back in your seat and look like you’ve been in the situation before and are comfortable.
Finally you may need to talk more, it’s good that they talk a lot, but you need some interesting and funny stories in there as well.
[–]potatoeswithfries 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I don't know if its a good idea or not.
Watchu mean - you don't know? Well, is it working?! No? Well, there you have it.
Personally, I'm at the point where if I don't at least kiss on the first date, I consider the date a failure.
Not letting the girl feel that she "has you" is a good idea, but has nothing to do with kissing on the first date. Kissing isn't even a big deal for most girls.
I can still get laid once in 2 months or so
That's not even bad TBH. I remember Jeffy from RSD once said he has one new sex partner per month from daygame. Whether that's a good result or not depends on how many approaches you have to do per lay, but it doesn't sound like you're bad at this game.
My gut instinct is that I don't give enough sexual vibes, but idk.
Trust your instincts. Your instincts won't always be right, but trust yourself, my dude - this is probably it.
[–]potatoeswithfries 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah, but you and I, none of us know, if I don't get second dates, because I don't kiss on first one or for other reasons.
True, we honestly don't know if it's this particular reason, but we do know that the "first date" part of your method isn't working. I'd advise analysing it and applying some trial and error until you figure it out.
And to be honest, the bit with the mystery and not kissing sounds to me like you've misunderstood something or took it out of context and misapplied. I mean, when I'm taking a new sex partner home and we're in the lift, I will not kiss them then, because there's a sexual tension between us that I don't want to release yet. But I don't feel like that applies to a first date scenario.
Also, another question: do you arrange the second date on the end of the first one? Or you message the girl a few days after talking about having a second date?
Usually during the first date I just ask "do you want to come home with me?" and go from there. Alternatively I might use some future pacing (video continues here) and then follow up via text, referencing what we talked about during the date. Gambler seems like a weird marketer type, but this technique is actually good and helpful with setting up dates - in fact, pretty much that whole disc is what helped me to go from just getting numbers to actually getting laid.
So you think it's better for me to try to kiss girls on first date?
Yes.
[–]blck_bstinson 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It’s not a good idea if 1/10 of your dates aren’t leading to a second. Y’all gotta get off the pick up artist material and read some books or material about dating. Pick up artist are only good at one night stands not dating. Nowadays they’re hiring prostitutes to be in their videos to try and sell their programs.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]blck_bstinson 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Um ok? He asked for advice on an advice Reddit. What are you on cuz?
[–]blck_bstinson 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
… have a nice night dude
[–]KMN208 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
Sometimes you just don't click, don't have chemistry. Also, maybe the women sense that you are only looking for a hookup and all your strategies just seem odd and forced. Another thing: If you let things slip that make your view of women as vaginas attached to bodies somewhat clear, most women will run.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]KMN208 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Fair enough, but 10% of "not having chemistry" is pretty abysmal. Especially if she did find me interesting the first time we met on the street or via Tinder chat.
Tinder chat is tricky, doesn't transport how someone says something, body language, etc., so content could be great, but in person it doesn't work. Also, on the street while asking out, she might wants to give you a chance, but turns out she isn't feeling it after all.
I don't make such "things slip". As I said, I don't talk a lot, mostly I talk about her experiences, ask questions, mention a short DHV here or there, but nothing too much.
I gather from this you assume, women are just happy to talk about themselves, especially if they don't ask explicit questions. A normal conversation usually flow by pne person saying something and the other reacts with either a prompt to continue or giving a piece of their own experience. If that doesn't happen, because of ypur strategy to not talk, women might walk away with a sense of "it was nice enough, but kind of one sided". They don't follow any strategy and get an odd sense of the conversation feeling forced without realizing why. A date is to get to know each other, figure out if you click in terms of views and humor. You seem to guard your personality by follow some strategies you found online. They might work for some hook ups, but not to find real human connections, because of the clash in strategized vs unstrategized communication.
Reasons not to go on a second date could also seem small to you, but mean a lot to the woman in question. Like the guy I dated telling me how his sister still has some of the pregnancy weight, she should really work on that and this was the reason her sex life isn't back on track, yet. Child was 5 months old. He was talking about his sister, but it told me enough about his (unrealistic) expectations. So, of course, you risk saying the wrong thing if you talk, but you won't have a real connection with someone if you don't.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]KMN208 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Women are humans, people. Start viewing and treating them that way.
A strategy to get them to sleep with you will often lead to a sense of "something is odd/forced here". You are manipulative, if you hold yourself back to seem "mysterious" or strategically dropping DHVs (honestly, worst term, had to google it and nearly barfed) and the manipulation is sensed. Stop reading incel advice while you are at it. You don't have to talk about yourself and what you deem impressive about yourself, but show who you are or at least the best version of you. Use your little strategies to get the date, but don't use them to manipulate people into liking you.
Be a decent person, meet women at eye level, take a look at women focused communities to get a sense of the bullshit women face. (E.g. r/twoxchomosomes or r/pornhateswomen)
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]KMN208 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I can only repeat, women are people. You won't find a singular thing that works every time. My advice is vague because it is based on the view of "be yourself to find people you truly connect with", you are looking for advice on how to be a person that gets laid. The best strategy is to not manipulate, because that can often be sensed.
Concrete advice: Learn how to communicate in an appreciative way. Read Dale Carnegies "How to win friends and influence people", if you need clear advice on how to do that.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]KMN208 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Doesn't mean anything, vague platitude. Useless. As if I wasn't myself until this point.
You actively avoided talking, because you believe women talk more and don't want to date people only talking about themselves. How is that being yourself? You are using strategy, which coincidentally leads to you showing very little of yourself.
How do you act with friends or family in contrast to women?
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]5_7pickup 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lol dont you just hate that. These posers pretend to know it all but cant provide specific actionable advice. All vague platitudes
Buddy is on some nut shit. Talks like a yoga instructor but his sentences don’t come to any conclusion lol
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Easy answer - you aren’t going for sex on the first date. That automatically makes you a Beta pussy for most women.
A woman cannot respect a coward, and when she doesn’t respect you, she loses all attraction. At least try to take her home. If she declines, no problem. As long as she clearly wants another date, there’s a good chance you’ll get the bang on the second.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You should have included that detail.
Erase this retarded, vague post and start over. Walk us through an example of a date, from when you first met to when she rejected you. None of us know who the hell you are, your age, where you live, nothing…but you want us to diagnose the issue from a view paragraphs devoid of any real information.
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Start kissing them on first dates. And inviting them over to yours at the end of the date.
However, I get the sense the problem runs deeper than that. You might not be all that interesting when conversing with them on the date itself and they get bored.
[–]hopefullyimgoodbro 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hm it’s hard to get an answer from you via online but I want to ask are you “smooth” while doing all this stuff? Or are you like a robot?
One of my friends in high school did everything you said but was super robotic it’s almost like he was something you programmed. He did all the right things but was super unnatural about it. Like he didn’t do it with a natural smoothness.
It’s hard to explain online and even harder to diagnose because people who are like this often don’t see it, because technically everything they’re doing is correct
[–]hopefullyimgoodbro 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh I see thanks for your introspection. Usually when people are robotic or scripted about these interactions is because they’re either nervous or anxious about social settings or that they’ll screw up or they are too focused on the end goal.
I know this is gonna sound corny and cliche but it’s completely true. You have to into the interaction with nothing to lose and with a mindset where you are only there to experiment and have fun, not with a pressure of “uh oh if I don’t say or do this I’m gonna fail. “ or “I must do abc to get this done.” You know, do your thing, your introduction, touch etc whatever method you enjoy but when you do it make sure you are authentic. Don’t just ask questions because it’s what works, ask questions because you’re interested in the answer. This just comes with time and comfort and also having the mindset of being light and having fun
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[–]CompetitionFair7686 2 points3 points4 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]focus_flow69 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
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[–]CompetitionFair7686 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Commercial_Habit_923 -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]blck_bstinson 2 points3 points4 points (13 children) | Copy Link
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[–]potatoeswithfries 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]blck_bstinson 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]blck_bstinson 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]5_7pickup 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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