Why does working on yourself feel so lonely and hollow?

hunterpua · 2022-03-12T17:33:58+00:00

Are your good friends on similar paths? Maybe you feel alone because you're the only one you know that's improving to this extent. I know I've felt like that a few times.

Liberaler · 2022-03-12T16:11:12+00:00

I don't think you are necessarily depressed. May you have neglected the spiritual side of life and need to look more inwardly. I'll just drop some keywords: Philosophy, Meditation, Religion, spending time alone, Spirituality, setting some long term goals, reflection on your life, enjoying nature, finding out what you really want in life, spending more time with your family etc

alpacarocks · 2022-03-13T08:18:47+00:00

It happens when you are like at the peak of your success (something like that) or working on a dream but doesn't have anyone to share the experience.

It would be better if you join a group, organizations or do some volunteer work. Probably you'll meet new people you never expect.

Suprisingly, few of my friends today are those who I met when I did some volunteer work in a cultural center and in museums. Most of them are coming from different professions who are like lost lamb like me back then. I must say that it's nice to hear other's thoughts and perspective somehow.

I have a very small close circle of friends and I think you are doing just fine. It's just that not everybody have the same path and interest as you. You just gotta make some opportunity for yourself to meet them. No need to replace your old friends with new ones.

Analogy: Remember that the food do taste better if you share it to a person who likes the same kind of food.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-03-12T16:47:08+00:00

Because you are trying to fix the external and not the internal where all problems lie. Working on yourself can include stuff like eating better, going to the gym, cleaning your apartment, etc. but it's the internal stuff of learning to like yourself, to respect yourself, to know who you are and what you stand for, to be your own best friend. That's what working on yourself should mean.

2022-03-12T19:18:38+00:00

You need to find people who can truly confide in and be honest and authentic with. I suggest finding this in a relationship but also with close friends.

HorusCok · 2022-03-12T22:40:11+00:00

maybe join an entrepreneur group/club to meet like minded people.

You are following your own path, don't judge yourself based on external expectation or societal norms.

I think this is an Einstein quote "Do not strive to be a man of success, but rather a man of value"

Casanova-Quinn · 2022-03-13T01:21:07+00:00

I'd guess that even though you're doing self improvement, you're not doing it primarily for yourself, and that's why it feels unsatisfying. You may be subconsciously hoping that there will be a "payoff" of some kind, like impressing your friends and bedding women. And that's ok to want those things, but if it's the primary motivator then the whole process is going to feel like a chore, not a satisfying journey.

raulonastool · 2022-03-13T02:12:36+00:00

You're body is telling you something. Listen to it. You may not be very passionate about your job and/or hobbies. Be open to trying new things and change up your routine. When you're doing something you're passionate about you'll get a childlike sense of wonder, joy and accomplishment from doing it. Write a list of stuff you LOVE to do. Not just like or kinda enjoy.... LOVE! For example, trying new restaurants with friends, watching sports, listening to music, reading sci-fi books, cooking, etc. Then ask yourself:

1) How often am I doing these things that I LOVE doing? 2) What can I do to be able to do these things more often?

That's a good staring point.

Significant_East3242 · 2022-03-13T02:37:52+00:00

Therapists have talked to me about working on realising my values in order to live a life directed at living those values. Do you know what your values are? And your identity?

taisha2640 · 2022-03-13T08:26:41+00:00

I have the same experience as you. But I've accepted this feeling. I see it as the space within me that can hold other people is expanding. But that's akin to knowing hunger, and thus progressively becoming hungrier. But one day we will be able to lift so much for others, once the time comes.

NotABot7274 · 2022-03-13T15:30:28+00:00

Are you doing what YOU want to do, or are you doing what other people think you should do? Are you dreading any of the activities you are doing? There are multiple ways to achieve the same goal.

Let me give you an example. The gym. It's the end all be all advice on this sub, and its parroted over and over. Well what if you don't like picking up heavy things and running in place? The gym might simply not be your thing, so you dread going to it and feel disconnected when you do. Well, what about rock climbing? Now your working out and most importantly, your having fun. That'll reflect in your mental state.

red-aces7 · 2022-03-13T16:58:40+00:00

I’m afraid I couldn’t offer you great advice for your existential questions, however personally, and it might sound stupid, getting a dog really changed my life. Just having a friend who doesn’t judge and eternally loyal is really reassuring and whenever I’m feeling dark or lonely he’s there for me. Really gives you purpose too, caring for something other than yourself. Added bonus their chick magnets (if they’re cute lol). Hope this helps !

Title	Why does working on yourself feel so lonely and hollow?
Author	BijuuModo
Upvotes	49
Comments	21
Date	March 12, 2022 3:40 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tciyca/why_does_working_on_yourself_feel_so_lonely_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-does-working-on-yourself-feel-so-lonely-and.1264756 https://theredarchive.com/post/1264756

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