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[–]MasterTeacher123 34 points35 points36 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
A lot of men simply don’t want to “rock the boat”
[–]Personal_goal21 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You need to "move the boat" as the Madagascar movie says.
[–]Magento-Magneto 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How about making the boat... Shake? 😏
[–]bigmanpav 21 points22 points23 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
Not sure. In my experience, saying less and just listening rather than saying something polarizing can be more effective in attracting women
[–]MK2718 32 points33 points34 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As stated above, the point is not to purposely say polarizing things but simply not fear being a bit polarizing as a result of speaking honestly. You can actually even be polarizing through silence, i.e. by not falling into the trap of trying to impress or qualify yourself.
[–]EnvironmentalRule525 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Right, women should do 80% of the talking on the date.
The point he’s trying to make is - let’s say you disagree strongly with something she’s talking about (let’s say a political topic that you’re well read on and have a confident opinion on). State your opinions with a non-confrontational attitude and don’t let her get you to budge if you actually believe what you are saying.
[–]ArtofWar2020 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
If you’re talking about politics on the first date, you’re doing seduction wrong. Never talk about politics, religion, or any other such topic. No woman’s vagina has ever gotten wet from such talk
[–]EnvironmentalRule525 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed 100% just used it as an example as a thing people commonly disagree on.
[–]Personal_goal21 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's depend. If you are a public figure, it's a great choice to talk about your career (political)
[–]TrudosKudos27 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link
The non-confrontational negation is a key to building respect from anyone IMO. I think people are genuinely pretty comfortable with other people holding differing opinions than they themselves hold. It is only when their ideas are challenged in a confrontational way that people react very negatively (this is amplified if it is in a social setting where they may interpret the act as an aggression against their intelligence).
The key is to remember that the point of discussion is generally not to find the truth, but to hold a conversation that validates both parties and creates a momentary harmony. I've found a lot of success in the following:
-Compliment them on their thorough knowledge (Boost their self esteem)
-Acknowledge that your knowledge on the subject is limited (humility, even if not true)
-Call out what you like about their ideas (Validate intelligence)
-Layout what your thoughts are on whatever the topic is (Establish individuality and willingness to be confident in your opinion)
-State similarities between the two ideas (Establish 'likeness'; This is the base of conspiracy which brings you both closer)
-Call out areas which you need to think further (Utilize new-found closeness to further connection through a collective goal/identity)
-Say that you are fascinated by their take and would love to hear their thoughts on some other related topic (Rinse and repeat, baby)
Arguments are divisive always -- Harmony is seductive.
[–]EnvironmentalRule525 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This post was pure poetry. Excellent info.
[–]firelitother 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
The key is to remember that the point of discussion is generally not to find the truth, but to hold a conversation that validates both parties and creates a momentary harmony.
Nah I disagree. To borrow a quote from Don't Look Up
Not everything needs to sound so clever, or charming, or likeable all the time. Sometimes we need to just be able to say things to one another. We need to hear things.
[–]EnvironmentalRule525 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I think he’s referring to seduction specifically. Is “don’t look up” a book on seduction?
[–]firelitother -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I guess it all boils down to social manipulation then. Nevermind authenticity, who needs that, right?
[–]TrudosKudos27 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
You can be authentic and still note that a bar is not the ideal setting to have a spur-of-the-moment debate about a topic. In these settings, yeah, harmony is the goal, not determined objective truth.
Some discussions are meant for classrooms or set times to get to the bottom of something. Bars, clubs, social settings are meant to socialize and I think anyone that tries to use those places as anything but are shooting themselves in the foot.
[–]firelitother -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I find that bizarre. Are you saying having a friendly debate will never lead to a good conversation?
If the person on the other side just keep on agreeing with you to not rock the boat, are you really having a connection?
[–]TrudosKudos27 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm giving general advice to people looking to connect in social settings. I'm going to be candid in that most social interactions are flows of communication. Most people talk out their ass half the time because they are trying to draw a degree of social status by implying they have knowledge in something. I think the key distinction comes in the form of friendly debate vs debate. The truth is that debate puts people on opposite sides of an issue. A good debate is ultimately one that validates both arguments but how many debates actually elucidate truth as the final outcome? Very few. The most common outcome is "I guess we just agree to disagree".
What I am proposing in my above post is a method of having the same type of logical discussion where you can voice your thoughts and how they differ, but its from the same side of the table, not opposing sides. Whether you want to admit it or not, people can feel when someone is opposing them and it is a largely unpleasant feeling for the most part. You can have all the same genuine connection and discussion of ideas as long as you do not frame it as an argument. That is key because it allows people to receive the validation they were looking for by saying something while not having it disrupt social harmony. Win, win.
If you really hit it off with someone, then it's a perfect segue to an escalating proposition such as, "Hey, I really like where our discussions heading and how you think. You want to grab coffee sometime and talk about it some more?" or even bolder, "Hey, I am really enjoying this conversation and how you think. Do you have any interest in moving this back to my place so we can grab a drink and get into this more?"
My method does not mean you agree with them. I very explicitly state that you do not agree with them and voice how you have different thoughts on the manner. Now, you aren't challenging their opinions though, you are collectively coming to a better understanding and connecting.
[–]gerty3000_2 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
great advice
[–]Heizenbrg 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I sometimes talk more then my date and still had success
[–]EnvironmentalRule525 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s a guideline, everything isn’t set in stone.
[–]micahbevans88 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is good advice. I'm able to attract women easily and have fun conversations, though I usually deflect away from giving my opinion on controversial topics by making jokes. This approach keeps a good vibe, but I often find myself spending weeks hanging out with a girl without us knowing each others true values or beliefs, which isn't a great thing when you're looking for a relationship and end up spending a lot of time with someone you might not be compatible with.
[–]Chinksta 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's simple.
I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT
[–]Caitipoo421 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree with this wholeheartedly
[–]ringchef 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I say whatever I want which usually ends with a shit eating grin. Keep the energy light, even when the things you say are classically 'mean' or 'controversial'.
[–]mabden -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Drive the drama, drive them home.
[+]BIGC4075 -7 points-6 points-5 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree completely, AND please don't be ignorant and categorize men, from the selfish, hurt assholes who treat others like awards instead of the sexy, spiritual, beings they desired so badly, that they knowingly lie and manipulate, just to fuck.
Seems like too much work being a shitty human, and an awful philosophy. It is pathetic, weak and ignorant as fuck, to be quite honest.
Honestly, if that's how one lives or behaves, I don't care how hot or sexy you are, I'm no longer attracted to your personhood/vibe.
They lack confidence, and replace it with arrogance, ignorance, and obliviousness. Those traits are not sexy, they are selfish, and a huge turn-off to me. And shouldn't they be, even for just a fuck?
I meet the same jerks out there too; and then I meet straight-forward people, who just "get it," they seduce artfully, love completely regardless of how many opportunities, and they reap the rewards for however long they want, or until the next friend they connect too.
I see nothing wrong with being labeled by ignorant people. Their opinions are just that, and opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, but they're wrong.
The people who confidently show love/desire for the person they "wanted" well after the acceptance, and allowance, for connection intellectually and sexually, regardless of length or rules of that specific relationship in time with this person, whether just 1 fuck, or however long you connect for ...... that's the beauty of this life! To connect, desire, and vibe, regardless.
That's it.
Another secret I've learned through experience, is to treat others with respect, and do it in the moment, connected, and always continuing to stay true, no matter what; and to be grounded, calm, cool, and collected; whether you fuck once or fifty times.
Then when finding another, you communicate to the previous "friend" and respect them by being straight-forward, honest, and showing your confident character, classy demeanor, and most importantly, your dignity.
And if you are desiring friends at the same time, do it respectfully and communicate your desires. That doesn't mean treat your friend like meat, after you got what you wanted.
ONLY marriage has commitment vows. I refuse married women no matter how sexy, because of virtue.
However, I will connect with sexy women who only have a boyfriend, and there is mutual attraction, affection and chemistry. That's the boyfriends issue, not mine.
I will however stay AWAY from anyone who voices opinion of, or tweets and posts stupidity that they:
What a stupid, boring and awful philosophy to live by!!
Pay attention to the warning signs.
Creeps will tell you exactlywho they are in the first 2 hours, you just have to listen, stand your ground, and respond to what they tell you.
Trust your gut, immediately. Those people don't deserve that person, or the pleasures of that person's wonderful, and warm sexy body, and their personal moist. The pleasures in life are for the brave AND gentle.
[–]machiavellian_king 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Play not to lose is learned behaviour.
For most guys its something you have to unlearn first before learning to be more charismatic.
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[–]MasterTeacher123 34 points35 points36 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Personal_goal21 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Magento-Magneto 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bigmanpav 21 points22 points23 points (16 children) | Copy Link
[–]MK2718 32 points33 points34 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]EnvironmentalRule525 6 points7 points8 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]ArtofWar2020 8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]EnvironmentalRule525 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Personal_goal21 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TrudosKudos27 2 points3 points4 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]EnvironmentalRule525 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]firelitother 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]EnvironmentalRule525 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]firelitother -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]TrudosKudos27 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]firelitother -2 points-1 points0 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TrudosKudos27 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gerty3000_2 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Heizenbrg 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]EnvironmentalRule525 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]micahbevans88 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Chinksta 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Caitipoo421 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ringchef 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mabden -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]BIGC4075 -7 points-6 points-5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]machiavellian_king 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link