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[–][deleted] 84 points85 points86 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
When I was around your age(or not far off it) I didn’t have a single clue what to say either.
The reality is, in order to learn how to conversate with girls, you are going to have to conversation with them. Regularly. At first it is incredibly nerve wracking because everything is new and uncomfortable. But there are no shortcuts. Sure, watching YouTube videos on how to talk to girls will help equip you a little bit, but when a real conversation happens most of that goes out the window.
There’s no shortcuts at learning how to talk to women. You are going to make a clown out of yourself until you learn what to do, which comes with real life experience and nothing else. Alcohol helps a lot.
[–][deleted] 37 points38 points39 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
This, but without alcohol.
[–]LakeShow-2_8_24 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
A little alcohol isn't too bad. Like 3 drinks tops
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You don’t need it
[–]Leviathansplunge 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If a person is brand new to the learning experience of game, liquid courage can definitely help quell the overthinking and the nerves, but long run shouldn't be depended on so actual skill can be developed. Its all about balance.
[–]LakeShow-2_8_24 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
True. I just don't think it's necessary to completely avoid it if one enjoys it, just keep your wits about you and don't overdo it
[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points-3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I never said that though
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Alcohol can also hurt a lot. It's a terrible crutch in the long run.
[–]Internal_Anxiety_270 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Best to avoid the YouTube videos on how to talk to women as most end up being super creepy and cringey. Best advice I could give is don’t go into situations with and end game just do things at places where women are at and be social. You will be surprised how many women you’ll meet when your really not trying. We can tell when guys are trying too hard and it’s not attractive.
[–]EU-Howdie 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are now in your early twenties. So the girls you have contact with and are maybe interested in you will be younger or maybe same age like you.
I think both of you are very young and have to learn, get more experience, in dating, speaking, approaching.
I agree very much with this tip, advice (from a woman here above) ..... You will be surprised how many women you’ll meet when your really not trying.
[–][deleted] 29 points30 points31 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
soon, even if you and the girl aren’t much alike, or you don’t feel like you have a lot to talk about, you’ll have a jumping off point for any conversation.
a song comes on. “i love this song!” y’all go dance. you come back after the dance.
you ask who the singer is, she tells you. ask her when the first time she heard it was. ask her how she was feeling when she heard it.
then tell her about one of your favorite songs and why you love it so much.
girls, much more than guys, freely associate in normal conversation. they can talk on the phone for hours about a range of different topics and be completely absorbed by what they’re talking about. guys don’t get as much practice.
when we hang out with friends, there’s almost always a pretense, and the convos may or may not get that deep. i’ll see a guy for 3 months on the street every day, and we might call each other friends even though we know little to nothing about each other.
talk to many many girls, and not just the ones you’re super attracted to. the more girls you talk to, the more you see that they’re all “the same” (and by same I mean they’re all regular people just like you).
always remember that “seduction” is not something you turn on and off. it’s an ever evolving mindset.
always be looking for those IOIs, even when you’re with people you arent trying to have sex with. always be processing elements of your surroundings to freely associate off of.
if you practice these skills every day, your skills in this area will greatly improve.
[–]H8beingmale 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
the way i see it, its only men who need to practice talking to women, not the other way around
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
yea thats what i said. women do it because they’re socialized to do it from a young age.
men are socialized differently, so to have conversations at a level that women respond to, a man has to practice having conversations at that level.
but they are still like us in other ways, but guys can be scared to approach because they only see the vast differences (which are minuscule) and not the vast similarities (which makes up the majority of the human experience.
[–]H8beingmale 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
ya, women are basically forced to learn how to talk to guys pretty much on auto-pilot from the moment they hit puberty, they have no choice but to learn social skills, and they gain it right away by doing nothing since they don't have to open their mouth first like guys do.
[–]EU-Howdie 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
There are for sure too women who cannot speak and communicate as good and easy. But the ones who can, they speak for 3. That's why we think ALL women can ...
[–]H8beingmale 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
well the way it looks like or seems, the way a woman talks or communicates, it looks like or feels, it doesn't affect her chances of getting a date or getting a boyfriend than the other way around, maybe because the way the man talks and interacts with people, impacts his attractiveness more than the other way around and women don't have to be confident because nobody cares about a womans confidence since thats not how men are attracted to women
well the way it looks like or seems, the way a woman talks or communicates, it looks like or feels, it doesn't affect her chances of getting a date or getting a boyfriend than the other way around, maybe because the way the man talks and interacts with people, impacts his attractiveness more ...
I agree this for 100%
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women don't have to be confident because nobody cares about a womans confidence since thats not how men are attracted to women ..
This I maybe partly true. Okay, it will be less important but I think it is very attractive when a woman is self confident. I quit a relation with a woman because of her being very un-confident. I want a strong partner next to me, and next to our children. Because when I "m the only strong one, what happens when I 'm ill. I want a strong woman, wife, even more when you plann to have children.
[–]Electrical_Ad1631 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey so as a woman even if I met a guy and wanted to hook up with them I would not suggest my place if I didn't know them. If they turn out to be weird or we just don't click it's easier for me to just leave than to have to kick them out. You said you don't have your own place..are you living with roommates or parents? If the goal is just to hook up I would be honest and say something like "I'm not looking for something serious"/" I don't have my own place, can we go to yours" (Also I don't know what your area is like but where I live all the clubs are on one block and everything closes at the same time except for like a diner). If the goal is to get to know them/date then I would start with a compliment (nothing that sexualizes their body like "you have a nice ass") for example "I like your shoes/hairstyle/hair colour"/ "your eyeshadow really makes your eyes pop"/"I like your style". You can ask questions based on the compliment like if you complimented their lipstick/eyeliner/eyeshadow then you could ask how long did it take and go from there.
You gotta just keep it simple, be yourself, and be honest about what you want though.
[–]Leviathansplunge 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If u don't know what to say, say exactly that, literally whatever is on your mind, it helps trigger flow state. "I don't know what to say, we are two very attractive people and the mutual radienence is giving me the yips." If the girl was interested in you enough to dance or talk in the first place, even if what u say is corney as hell or you feel awkward she will probably just laugh with you and help u keep the convo going., awkwardness is part of the process, it only gets guys rejected if the girl wasn't really interested in the first place.
With that said, if she was already interested she won't judge u in the way that is easy to think society in general will judge you for stuff like not having your own place, just communicate, tell her you want to spend time with her and the "need to knows" about your living situation.
[–]Count_Slime 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Taking Notes xoxo
[–]shaggy2gay 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's not what you say, it's the emotion behind what you say and how it fits into a broader context of talking like a guy who knows how to communicate with women / people in general.
Pulling to hers: set up dates close to her place. If you're on top of shit and she's a certain type, she might just invite you directly. Don't directly invite yourself.
At end of date, walk her to her door and ask to use her bathroom. She'll probably let you, and once you're in her place things can happen.
Getting booze at a liquor store is a good method as well. Once it's purchased, the options are to drink it somewhere public or at hers
[–]5_7pickup 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Refer to my field reports
[–]xSmashBrosNotHoes 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You must be fairly attractive then if women were doing all of the work to be with you despite your social skills being poor.
Because you're attractive (or at least you were in junior high), your looks were enough to compensate for your poor social skills. Where if you were average or below average looking, you would have been forced to work on your conversational skills if you wanted to get anywhere with women.
[–]chagis100 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Here's a crazy take: talk to women like you would talk to anyone else. Go into conversations with the objective of making a new friend, and the rest will fall into place.
[–]JacobMoogberg69 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Talk something dirty in their ear.
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
whispers in ear “hey baby girl i just shit my pants”
Like spit in her ear? Okay, will try that ...
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You can get a cheap hotel (or expensive depending on the girl). Most girls that age are ok with you living with your parents still, but you should be actively trying to fix that. I'd say a lot of chicks are also ok with sex in the back of your car.
[–]EU-Howdie 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Car? I have a sidecar, is that okay too?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah dude. How many times have you seen Batgirl blow Robin? They always like #2...
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