[deleted by user]

quickjump · 2021-09-03T02:14:17+00:00

I found that insecure, weak and afraid-to- approach men would laugh at people's failed attempts, whereas guys who are secure and mature will respect the effort. Either way it doesn't matter what other people think. Most people are only really thinking about themselves and how they are being perceived which is exactly what we're doing when we have this spotlight effect as you call it. We're on a floating rock in the middle of fucking nowhere, literally. Nothing is that big of a deal.

zackit · 2021-09-02T23:45:53+00:00

I needed to read this, honestly.

My problem with approaching women, apart from the fear of rejection, is that I'll become "that guy".

That guy, who walks around town trying to talk to strange women. I know, dumb as hell, nobody cares! But still.

Your post really helped. I don't know if I'll start approaching women, but I'll remember it next time an opportunity presents itself.

Alive-Doughnut2345 · 2021-09-02T21:39:35+00:00

Thanks for this. This was the exact issue that stopped me from making an approach yesterday

TWA-GGLMG · 2021-09-02T22:50:49+00:00

I remember getting blown out only to be laughed at by this dweeby couple walking behind me. I honestly felt bad for them bc of how petty they were. Helps to not get phased by others when you’re living your purpose.

bernievg · 2021-09-03T05:23:30+00:00

The problem with some guys is that they fear fucking up since they will damage their image to approach her again. At least that happened to me before but I slowly ignored that thought.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2021-09-03T11:41:38+00:00

Being outcome dependent leads to creepiness. Just have fun and let things unfold.

JayElectricity · 2021-09-03T02:00:58+00:00

One thing I remember reading was “What? Are you worried that people are gonna find out you like girls?” It put into perspective how silly it is to fear people seeing you approach women.

fr0ntsight · 2021-09-03T05:52:36+00:00

A speechless effect is closer to what I get.

totalwpierdol · 2021-09-03T06:06:03+00:00

I actually have this feeling even when not approaching girls lol. I'm an introvert, I hate when society gives unnecessary attention I never asked for. I avoid being in the centre of attention

never_on_time · 2021-09-03T09:21:45+00:00

So true about the worst thing happening is an eye-roll or being hand-waved away, yet ladies have to face.. the r and m words from us, or like potentially y'know? We're afraid they'll laugh at us, they're afraid of us. But that being said girls want sex too, don't forget that.

idkburneridkidk · 2021-09-03T13:11:33+00:00

I only feel this when there's other commotion that could interrupt us. If I'm chatting xwith someone in a line at a store then that's pretty safe, easy, public but not like a bar where anyone could pop over. Nobody interrupts small talk at the store. Same goes for any number of casual places.

Now if it's some position where the power dynamic is flipped or off kilter. Ie she is at work or she is alone and you're with friends then you need to worry and move like water. Seem interested but be coy about it, then don't even ask her out. Or maybe just throw out a couple ideas like you're not expecting an answer and then give her your number. She will get to thinking and get curious and eventually start texting you when she's collected herself. It could be an hour, a day or a week. What's going on in her life. Does she work a lot. Perhaps she isn't tripping over her schedule to talk to you and that's OK. Most people aren't that interested at first. So feign ignorance of even possible rejection. It show that you don't care either way and thus she feels comfortable with either decision. Which will tempt her to hit you up. Don't get antsy. It won't help your case at all.

Altruistic-Tip-4966 · 2021-09-03T22:52:47+00:00

"It's just noise."
Watch the scene in "Race" and you'll see something magical and true.

When you consciously understands that the crowds stares or words are just noise and eyes you consciously will be able to focus on your breath and get present. Since we humans give meaning to "Words" or "Stares.", if 200 dogs saw you approach I am 100% sure you wouldn't care what they dogs thought, mainly cause you don't understand them and therefore your brain doesn't give meaning to the dogs bark or stare... So when you truly realize and understand the gist of it, you will find it extremely easy, just breath and remember that it's all just noise and stares, literally cannot even touch your physically, just stop giving it meaning... Don't engage when your brain wants to give it meaning, just let it go man, and ultimately it's not like you will get jailed for an approach, so as long as you don't break the law then your fine.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	76
Comments	16
Date	September 2, 2021 9:15 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pgqy60/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1276928 https://theredarchive.com/post/1276928

Comments