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[–][deleted] 64 points65 points66 points 8 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link
A number is not a close, repeat after me. You have to establish a real communication with her for her to call you. Girls want to find that memorable guy, the one they talk about with their friends the next day. If you get a number and then just walk away, you will get a lot of blocks and ignores because you're just another guy.
[–]xtelfonx 24 points25 points26 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
that makes a fucking ton of sense. Im not using the number as the close so to speak but I do acquire it towards the end of the night. this is after the heavy makeout and or the verbal game is concluded. most my game is physical.. verbal could use work so I guess I'll need that balence to be more memorable
[–]ThePUA_Baddie 10 points11 points12 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
don't immediately go for the number, try to pull that night, if you can't then get the number. don't just dance with girls and make out with them, you need to actually talk to the girls on some level. try to isolate them to a quieter area of the bar and talk to them, or open girls off the dancefloor in an area where you can talk
[–]MusicPsychFitness 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sounds like you've got heavy attraction and are spiking BT but building no comfort. They're probably all thinking, "Well, that was a fun night - but we don't even know each other!"
Agree with u/gregormikh that texting should be used mainly to set the next meet, but building more comfort while at the club including time bridges / future pacing or even venue hopping should also help.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Doesn't matter if you get the number in the middle of the interaction, though getting it at the beginning is probably too rushed.
Sometimes getting some contact information in the middle of the interaction is the right move, especially if people in her group are about to monkey-wrench you.
this is after the heavy makeout
It's good to experiment with this, but realize that often, getting this, means this is ALL you'll get. Once you've done this, it's all out in the open and you've released all (or too much of) the sexual tension in the situation and possibly activated ASD, especially if her friends are there to witness the making out.
Playing it more subtle and doing things to build tension up instead of ham-fistedly going for her mouth, etc., is a better way to go, usually.
[–]Kenic_In_MD 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Very good advice! Thank you, I got a number from this girl yesterday she replied once then ignored me. I need to work on being memorable for sure.
[–]galactic_fury 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh boy this is so true. Especially if you meet women at bars/nightclubs and you exchange numbers when they are drunk.
One thing I learned after this happening SO MANY TIMES is ABC. Always be closing the same night. Escalate when they show interest. If they say you're attractive, that's a MAJOR ioi: return complement, lock in eye contact, isolate and close.
Now, I'm not saying it will ALWAYS happen, that you will always close. What I'm saying is: numbers don't mean shit. Don't let her number fool you or make you feel pleased; see how far she is willing to go the same night.
A number is not a close, repeat after me.
I actually agree with your overall point, but this part is awkwardly worded because you can "number close."
But yeah, it doesn't make sense to number close until you establish a better connection.
[–]Kenic_In_MD 27 points28 points29 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Ever hear of "striking while the iron is hot"? This is all you need to work on really. It's also my problem, girls do a memory wipe after the weekend or a night out. Rarely do you get a number that you can use like a week later. Unless your phone game is on point.
Try to close that night, then if the logistics don't work out go for the number. Getting a number is like playing the lottery. Sometimes it hits, most of the time you lose.
[+]fleedtarks -53 points-52 points-51 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
"Phone game is on point". You sound like a total douche when you say things like this. Don't say on point ever again
[–]Kenic_In_MD 21 points22 points23 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'll say what I want, when I want, and HOW i want!
[–]StrongAffordance 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Reference on point
[–]PracticeMakesPizza 12 points13 points14 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol the irony of this fucking comment. You sheltered little loser.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Life outside Reddit must suck for you
[–]fleedtarks 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My life is on point right now
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You make me cringe
[–]ForeignInUsA 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Night time girls will flake a lot. She can meet other guys, she could have been drunk, etc. I would go for the pull and almost forget about numbers unless it's a girl you almost fucked or had an amazing connection and terrible logisticks.
Daytime you can have a lot more solid numbers, especially after an instant date.
Also trust me attractiveness has nothing to do with fucking the girl. This one chick showed me a picture of a dude in the friendzone, he was a good looking dude, maybe more than me. But her opinion of that dude is that he is not attractive at all and after finding out how he is needy and shit it makes sense.
Be a good looking dude with attractive qualities. Side note girls will probably assume a lot you are a player which can get in the way of getting day 2's so I would say learn to be more relatable and build more comfort.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
This. I'd like to add though, make them feel comfortable with you. Try to do some things which would not be usually done at the place in order for her to find you "different" than the rest. In addition to this, try cold reads.
[–]truecrisis 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Cold read?
[–]StrongAffordance 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"You look like you enjoy hiking"
Yes, this guide help me. When you do things like this it's like bringing some beers to a reunion in which eveyone brought burgers. Sure, some burgers are better than others but the one who brings the beers will stand out way more.
I’ve been experiencing this lately - that somehow coming off as a player is hurting my chances with girls. As OP said, not trying to humblebrag here, but it does seem that my abundance of looks and confidence is reaching a point where it backfires.
I’m going to try dialing things down a notch. Lower sex appeal, increase comfort, etc.
[–]Luis_McLovin 12 points13 points14 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're at a nightclub, not fucking Sunday church. YES, they're wanting Mr. Tonight.
/thread
[–]damfrenchy 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
What you're doing is pumping attraction only, which doesn't get you a next date.
Once you've got attraction and buying temperature up, isolate (or better yet venue change) and go for connection and comfort.
You need to create that "us" vibe so when she wakes up tomorrow she thinks about the two of you together.
future adventures [1] / adventure projection : you're my new girlfriend (then false disqualifier), let's get married (then false disq), this is true love (then false disq), romantic date projection (then false disq), picture us 8 years from now (then, you've guessed it, false disq)
signal recognition process (and visual anchoring [2])
anchoring positive feelings and emotions to yourself, perfect boyfriend routine
sharing dreams and hopes (anchor those)
[1] https://www.seductionscience.com/2011/adventure-projection/
[2] http://coverthypnosis.academy/self-anchoring-visualization/
This is important. Thanks
[–]iuliua 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
How can i think of all that while i'm shaking like little bitch? lol Just reading that makes me uncomfortable, is it really so complicated?
[–]damfrenchy 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Here, let me try and be of help.
Think of the game as... a game, actually, nothing more.
You open on a girl and say Hi, you've already won.
All the rest, chatting, getting a number, kissing her, it's just a bonus you get on top of your initial win !
Most guys are uncomfortable around women because, truth be told, all they think about is sex and the possibility that it may be denied them.
Reframe yourself to think of seduction as a game, a game you play to have fun, a game you play because you enjoy it.
And all that comes with it, it's a mere bonus on top of all the fun you're having ;)
This is huge for mindset/congruence worries. Thanks
[–]spanking_walrus 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah dude I have exactly the same problem, I'm 6'3 and athletic as well. I'll have girls dance around me and rub up against me if I'm dancing or sometimes just even posted up chilling not doing anything. I don't think that dancing pulls mean anything other than she wants to dance with you, it's completely different than other aspects of game like a conversation pull.
[–]gregormikh 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe you come off too needy with overtexting? Maybe you waited too long so they lost interest? Thing is texting is just validation for girls. You should set up a physical date via text, not get to know her. Good luck mate
[–]Cocky_Douchebag 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not making a strong enough impact or gaming them enough, being tall and handsome is just a price of the puzzle
[–]iuliua 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't think that even girls know how to answer that question. They're just weird.
[–]peakpua 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Don't ask for a number- Set a time, location, and activity to meet up on. Then get the number so u can find each other. This reduces flakiness by 50%. (Hope it doesn't bother people if I try to market on here- I just started coaching in San Diego and am doing online video chat coaching for less than 15$/hr- msg me if u'd like 2 free half hour chats for more advice).
[–]Luis_McLovin 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This reduces flakiness by 50%
[citation needed]
[–]peakpua 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'd be down to a peer reviewed study on this. But yeah theoretically- this is because with a time and location she is imagining a definite scenario with you in the future. She has invested in you more by agreeing to a date and not just a number and you will stick in her mind more afterwards. This comes from my own experience and trying it out and has worked well with my friends and guys I've coached probably over 50%, but yeah I don't have a study on the actual percentage.
It's quite more complicated than that haha. See, a lot of it has to do with where you are meeting these girls. I'd say about 70% for example if you are hitting clubs up I don't see a reason why your looks and the way you are approaching would be detrimental to your game, because club girls are probably looking for a one night stand. Read Models by Mark Manson, that coupled with intelligence is all you need. Maybe you are using too many lines or acting like the average fuckboy. You must show more vulnerability and that is covered in Models. If you don't want to buy it for whatever reason just DM me and I'll upload it to MEGA and send you a link.
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[–][deleted] 64 points65 points66 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]xtelfonx 24 points25 points26 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]ThePUA_Baddie 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MusicPsychFitness 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kenic_In_MD 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]galactic_fury 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kenic_In_MD 27 points28 points29 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[+]fleedtarks -53 points-52 points-51 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kenic_In_MD 21 points22 points23 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]StrongAffordance 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PracticeMakesPizza 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]fleedtarks 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ForeignInUsA 5 points6 points7 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]truecrisis 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]StrongAffordance 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Luis_McLovin 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]damfrenchy 4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]iuliua 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]damfrenchy 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]spanking_walrus 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gregormikh 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Cocky_Douchebag 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]iuliua 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]peakpua 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Luis_McLovin 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]peakpua 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link