Everyone always talks about "state" and some people will even tell you that it doesn't exist. Whatever. I think it's important to have the right mindset when going out.

Approaching beautiful women is intimidating. Going out to social places by yourself is intimidating. As you're getting ready you'll feel the anxiety start welling up. You may even start finding reasons why you shouldn't go out.

You've got to relax into it.

People go out to be social. Humans are very social creatures and we've all heard alcohol referred to as a social lubricant.

My routine is to have a drink or two while I'm getting ready. Listen to some music that is fun and gets you kind of pumped up. But you aren't going somewhere to kick in doors or get into a fight. You can't overcome your anxiety with an angry kind of energy. You have to relax and let it go.

Think about all of your past successes with women. (If you don't have any or very few obviously this part doesn't apply).

Hopefully you've learned how to be good in bed. If not, why not?

Think about the women you've pleasured and what an amazing experience you gave them. Think about all of the things you have to offer a woman. All of the things that most guys can't.

Hopefully you've worked on yourself as a person. If not, why not? (No one is perfect, but being above average isn't that hard)

Are you going to be honest with her? Make her laugh? Are you kind without being a pushover? Are you going to be the confident man that she wants? Are you going to totally rock her world if she goes home with you?

The mindset that you should have is that you're a prize to be won and that a girl is lucky to go home with you. This can be true even if you haven't slept with a bunch of beautiful women. Or even one.

If you're new, don't hesitate to take home moderately good looking girls. I'm not saying do something you'll regret, but you shouldn't feel bad taking home an average looking girl with an okay body. But you need to at least like her personality, IMO. Otherwise you're disrespecting yourself and that will just hurt your game overall.

Where to go:

Personally I'm a fan of bars where you can still have conversation, but you have to be close. I don't like grinding/dance clubs.

If you're new to going out solo it can be intimidating. Here's one easy way to do it:

Post up at the bar a little before it gets busy. Maybe 9pm, but it varies. Try to position yourself somewhere that people will be coming up to get drinks. If you have the opportunity, chat up the bartender a bit if a fun way. It will probably be a hot female. Going after her is something else entirely, so your goal here is just to be a friendly cool dude.

Your body language should be relaxed and confident. Stay off your phone. Lean back. Take in everything that's going on: just watch, without being a fucking weirdo and staring though. Your facial expression should be relaxed, with a hint of amusement. You are after all, people watching.

Observe what's going on and what people are doing. You'll notice a lot of guys looking nervous or uncomfortable, even if they're trying to hide it. Girls too. Notice how girls are dressed, their body language, how they're interacting with people and if they're checking guys out. It's not that you're necessarily trying to ID a target, as much as just learning how to tell the difference between girls that are out to have fun and get laid(or just meet a guy) and girls that aren't.

As things get busier you'll have people rotating in and out around you as they come up to buy drinks. Ideally, anyway. Talk to anyone that seems at least somewhat cool. Talk about whatever. Just be social and have fun. Dudes are easy "what's up man!". Girls you aren't that interested in you can just open with "how's it going". Some guys won't want to talk to you. Fuck them. You're having a good time, who cares? And guess what... Same goes for girls.

It doesn't matter if 10 girls aren't that interested, it only takes 1 that is.

Guys will try to encroach on your personal space. Don't let them. You're a fucking rock and no one makes you move, not even a little. Except girls, girls you can adjust maybe a little for. You are a gentlemen after all. But don't go out of your way, you don't work there and you don't want to look like a needy guy.

Try not to look directly at girls you're interested in. In fact, you want to be looking about 15-30 degrees to either side of them. Use your peripheral vision to notice whether or not they keep looking over at you. This is what girls do and why it's important to be mindful about where your eyes go. It's okay to check a girl out, but you don't want to stare.

If you can catch a girl looking at you and make eye contact, smile. If she smiles back, your goal is to get her to come to you. Depending on your personality and confidence, her vibe, etc. you can tease her in different ways: a wink, raising both eye brows at once twice, mouthing "what?" playfully while you throw your hands up, etc. The goal is to get her to laugh and convey that you're just having fun and that you aren't at all intimidated by her.

Then call her over to you: I personally like the single finger beckon, where your palm is up, if that makes sense. It's bold as fuck. I literally did this with a fucking gorgeous blond that was 22 last night and she came over all smiles.

When you talk to girls there's no need for gimmicks or a perfect line. Talk to them pretty much the same way you've been talking to everyone else, with the exception that you want to exchange names relatively early in the interaction. REMEMBER HER FUCKING NAME. I can't stress this enough, if you forget her name her attraction for you is going to go down tremendously.

I learned this when I used to have a job that I had to go to networking events for: use her name as you talk to her. "So Amanda, tell me about this work that you do artificially inseminating wallabies". Just don't overdo it. 2-3 times over the course of the first 3-5 minutes of conversation is good. Don't force it.

Pay attention to the shit that she's telling you. Try to find something that she is passionate about. People love talking about the things they're passionate about. If she touches on something that you can tease her about probe playfully and fuck with her a little bit. The goal is to have fun and not be boring, not to put her down or make her feel stupid.

When girls come up to the bar to get a drink, chat them up. Unless they're body language is clearly telling you to fuck off. If she's somewhat open but not checking you out, I will still go for it sometimes. But if she's got RBF and has her back to me then she's not interested in having fun (at least with me), so I won't talk to her.

I think because of all of the different break downs, techniques and strategies guys think they have to have some amazing line and do everything perfect. YOU DON'T. Just talk to them.

You might feel like a weirdo sitting there by yourself. It is a little odd and maybe most people don't do that. But guess what? That makes you different, which is good. And if you're having a good time, joking with people, making pretty girls laugh, etc. You'll start to notice girls specifically coming up to get a drink on either side of you, rather than other open spots.

Girls might be way into you, but get their drink/drinks and go. Understand that they are probably there with friends and they aren't going to just ditch them. Especially if they're getting drinks for them. They'll probably come back. If not, oh well.

One thing you need to be super mindful about is that a girl isn't going to do something her friend/s disapprove of. This means two things: First, you need to get her friends to be cool with her fucking you. So chat them up too, but your goal here is less about mystery and flirting and more about trust and comfort. They are going to be protective of their friend.

Second, you might need to just get her number and let her go. Maybe with a plan to meet up later. Maybe to grab food or something. The more people she's with the more likely there's some grumpy judgmental bitch in the group that will give her shit if she goes home with you. This is why if my goal is a same night pull I'll try to stick with groups of 2-3.

Last thing: no matter what happens, laugh it off. You try to talk to a guy and he blows you off? "Haha what a douchebag". Girl gets irritated that you tried to chat her up? "Woah, what's her problem haha". I'm not telling you to say these things out loud, although you could, depending.

It could even work to your advantage: one girl dramatically shoots you down, act surprised and amused and turn to a different girl that saw it all go down. Laugh and say "jeez what's her problem" or whatever. You just turned something that could have been a demoralizing blow into making you look like you're confident and fun. And that's how you should try to think of every interaction that goes poorly. Don't lose your frame.

Also remember that girls want sex too and if she's into you she'll forgive some fuck ups and missteps. Which WILL happen, especially early on. The next morning when the alcohol wears off (you shouldn't get too drunk) you'll think about things and feel dumb. That's fine. Even if you didn't take a girl home, or even get a number, or even have a conversation where an attractive girl was into you: you learned.

Anything worth being good at is worth doing poorly (at first).

Edited to add:

Don't chase girls. If you have an awesome interaction and she doesn't come back, that just means she wasn't that interested. You aren't going to change her mind and it will just make you look needy.

Don't get up and walk around. When you need to use the bathroom, put a napkin over the top of your drink and ask the cool dude you've been bullshitting with to save your seat.

Last thing: Eat a good size, but not huge, meal a few hours before you go out. Make she you're well rested. Some caffeine before you go out can help. I don't like weed when I go out, it might be relaxing but it fucks with my wit. Once you've got a bit of a buzz on switch to a "tall" - that's a drink with twice the mixer.